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Welcome to share your experiences on
benzo dependence with us!

I have taken several medications for anxiety. The side effects of these drugs were worse than the disorder, such as Effexor. You have to realize that the brain is so complex, there is no way on Earth that anyone could relate it's impossible code with the way a drug will react to it. A few are lucky by chance.
kmas. hnb.com
jblitz from helena, ar, USA Thu Oct 25 10:52:35 CEST 2001

A am a 56 year old house wife. When I was around 25 I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease and perscribed massive steriods. As a result i had difficulty sleeping and my doctor started me on the road to better sleep with pills. The name changed through the years but for the past five it has been lorazepam. (1mg) Currently it wears off around 2 a.m. and I have pretty bad shakes in the the morning. I know this is a sign that the dosage is not holding and a few times i have doubled to 2mgs to get a good nights sleep. The past several months i have considered getting off these things but i hate the idea of no sleep...i have a lot of difficulty when i don't sleep at night. To tell the truth, i came upon your sight while looking for info on some medication my mother takes - Klonopin - and the more i read I realized I do need to get off this drug (lorazepam)...but your site and letters have me scared to death to try it. I don't even know where to begin. Yes, I have discussed it with my doctor and he agrees I should, but offers no help other than substitute something else in it's place...i don't think phys. know much about withdrawals. Where do I begin? I am really afraid i won't be able to handle the withdrawal symptoms. I would appreciate any input anyone might have. Thanks.
jnkmillr@bellsouth.net
kay miller from marietta, ga, USA Mon Oct 22 00:49:51 CEST 2001

Thanks for this site. I'm french so please excuse myself for my american. My husband is teking every days for twelve years Lorazapam (témesta in France) half of 1mg.I don't really know if it's a lot or not. But I know that he likes to stop but he don't know how. He has tried a lot of thing as sophrologie, yoga. Is there a medical treatment that can help him. Thanks for your responses.
ouistitoune@paris.com
ouistitoune from Paris, France Mon Oct 15 22:25:23 CEST 2001

HI...have been on Ativan for about 1 year now...Thinking about asking for Klonopin. Is there anybody out there that could give some advice about this? My world is on big scary place. Thanks...
Kermit1831@aol.com
Melissa from Greenbelt, MD, USA Wed Oct 3 20:12:07 CEST 2001

Is there any one out there who can help an 80 year old with severe night cranps in the legs
marcef@mweb.co.za
Marcus , USA Tue Oct 2 06:22:57 CEST 2001

I just discovered your website and find it very informative. I was addicted to Ativan for fourteen years. The doctor who prescribed it for me told me that there was no chance that I would ever become dependent on this drug. I was very young at the time and believed what he said. Little did I know of what would happen to me in the future. This doctor became ill with lung cancer and died. I didn't know what to do as my prescription ran out three months later so I went to a new doctor. This doctor is about my age and didn't believe in giving young women tranquillizers. I can't even remember why my other doctor had prescribed it. I think maybe because I complained of some stress at work. Anyway, the new doctor tried to wean me off the Ativan in a three week period which just did not work as I was having severe panic attacks and thought I might die. I started seeing another doctor who agreed to keep me on the Ativan but two years later I was abusing the drug. My prescription called for 1 mg three times daily and I was taking 9 or 10 mg daily. Sometimes I felt like I would pass out. My doctor then said I had to quit the Ativan. He agreed to gradually withdraw me from this drug. For the next 9 to 10 months every 3 to 4 weeks he would decrease the dosage by a half of a milligram. It wasn't so bad at first then after a while it got really rough. I felt like my head was spinning out of control at times. My whole body would tingle at times. The world looked totally different to me during this time. My self-esteem was very low. I was cranky and could hardly get out of bed in the mornings to go to work. Sometimes it would get so bad at my job I would have to leave and come home because I would have a full blown panic attack in my office. I suffered many physical ailments, i.e. stomach problems, headaches, dizziness, etc. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I couldn't concentrate enough to hold a decent conversation. My whole world had revolved around Ativan for fourteen years. It had taken control of my life. I realized then that I had to take control of my life and consider Ativan the enemy. My doctor thought at one point he would have to refer me to a mental health professional, but this did not happen because I am married to a therapist. I know he is not objective as far as I am concerned but he did help a lot and was very understanding. It is a wonder he didn't leave me as horrible as I was during this time. After coming off the Ativan, I was still having anxiety and panic attacks. Unfortunately, at this time my mother died suddenly of a massive brain hemorrhage which increased my anxiety and fear. I then went back to the doctor who had originally tried to take me off Ativan in a three week time period. He put me on Buspar and tried different anti-depressants but these didn't help. I felt like a zombie. I then went to a neurologist who has placed me on Klonopin 1 mg twice daily and Buspar 10 mg twice daily. The Klonopin has stopped the panic attacks completely. I'm not sure the Buspar helps but I take it anyway. I have what they called Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic Attacks. I still suffer with anxiety at times but usually it is during stressful times in my life. I successfully overcame my addiction to Ativan. I know Klonopin is a benzo but it is not as strong and does not give you the buzz that Ativan does. I know now there is a life after Ativan.
Beverly , USA Sat Sep 29 09:04:58 CEST 2001

Hello everybody, At first I want to say that the horrible things happened in New York are not normal anymore. Even in this little country (Holland) we all live with you. I know a lot about benzo's and you can mail me for advice: Hert.Den@hetnet.nl God Bless, Dejan den Hertog
Hert.Den@hetnet.nl
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Thu Sep 27 00:48:59 CEST 2001

I'd like to share this website with all of you. It is alternativementalhealth.com. Please take the time to check it out! If any of you find your answers and therfore, miracls, and I believe you will, Please let us all know. God bless you all!!!
oxbird@iwon.com
kathy bartek from wasilla, ak, USA Mon Sep 3 00:54:38 CEST 2001

I am a recovering alcoholic and as I have been having a lot of problems with anxiety, extreme anger, etc, my doctor has put on 5 mg's of Klonopin, 1200 mg's of Trileptal and 150 mg's of Luvox. I will admit that since being on the Klonopin my anger has subsided and I have been more relaxed. However I am aware of the fact that as with all benzodiazepines they are addictive. The last think I want is another addiction to another chemical. Can anyone offer any suggestions on my currnt situation? How long can a person be on Klonopin before the effect wears off? Any help would be appreciated.
coloradodawn@hotmail.com
Randy , USA Mon Sep 10 17:42:25 CEST 2001

HELP.....I think I am having Auditory Hallucinations from Ativan dependence. Have terrible screaching in my head and can't get any Medical help. My Pys. won't help me detox. I really need help........I want to die.
MnM1Grandma
A Pinon from Cerritos, CA, USA Fri Sep 14 01:11:27 CEST 2001

Can you be withdrawing without realizing what the culprit is Benzo withdrawal just experiencing many physical ailments with pain, Bedridden and housebound!!!!!
Frankiebonda@aol
Fran , USA Tue Sep 18 21:39:04 CEST 2001

Hi i currently take valium?every day 1/2tablet..5mg..only..And am also on Methadone..I hate my life..I feel so panic strucken most days today im sitting at home..so upset..lonley seems everyone has deserted me..?..its to hard for them?? would u recomment.AA for me as i took valium for 4yrs..str8 with alchool 2?? Methadone is fairly new..Im not a herion addict..just another mixed up pharamcutical victom..thanks scott
skeetar@Hotmail.com
scott from adelaide, sa, Australia Wed Sep 19 06:10:17 CEST 2001

I really hope that your site isn't turning people in real need away from highly effective medications. While it's true that the dreaded `benzo' has got a slight discontinuation syndrome associated with it, it is (according to many people at a chronic pain group I attend; and the monographs for diazepam, etc..) almost never an earth shattering experience. You feel like shit for a few weeks, and voila. I have been on and off benzo's for much of my life and I have yet to have felt any real discontinuation syndrome from them - and I took some pretty freakin' high doses. To those who are so unfortunate - perhaps "Buspar" may be a better choice. . . . then again, we could all lock ourselves in our homes and never see the light of day again. Benzo's give anxious people confidence. And that's important.
mstrates@croftj.net
Mike Strates , USA Fri Sep 21 07:24:06 CEST 2001

I just want to thank all of you courageous people who have posted here. I am going through Ativan withdrawal whic has been a living hell. I am off for about 3 and 1/2 months and took about 3-5mg per day. My life has changed dramatically and the anxiety for which I began taking the Ativan is much worde thasn when I began. Each day is an adventure and I never know what horrors to expect. This could last a long time so I have had to develop coping mechanisms. This was hard also and sometimes I do not cope very well. Anyway, what I wanted to say is good luck to all of you in the same boat as me and I pray we all get through this and re-claim our lives.
Loweern from Miami, Fl, USA Fri Sep 21 17:30:56 CEST 2001

my dad commited suiside while taking lorazipam any help out there?
mtwhite27@hotmail.com
mike w from freedom, ca, USA Sat Sep 22 00:56:41 CEST 2001
228 bowker rd

hello everybody. i hope all of you are doing fine. i am very unhappy about something and i would like to clear the situation (and my name): i recently recieved information that another person has (ab)used my e-mail when posting a message on this bbs(the message was posted on april 4,unfortunalty i only found out about it a few weeks ago).i can understand why many people were disturbed/ angry after reading that message, i do not agree with the things that that person has said, personaly i think he/she needs to get some help , obviously it was a cry for attention.i would appreciate it if the webmaster could remove that specific message from this website. thanks a lot a yssel ps. i think you guys have done a great thing to set up a support network, addiction to anti-depressants is a very real and serious matter and should not be treated as a joke!
ansie_yssel@ananzi.co.za
a yssel , SA Sat Sep 22 19:30:36 CEST 2001

Hiya! Just to let you know that our PO Box has changed - on your Contacts page, you have our old one.The new postal address is PO Box 68-701, Newton, Auckland. We are a community based counselling agency, supporting people who have issues with their benzodiazepine use.
tranx@ihug.co.nz
TRANX , Auckland, New Zealand from Auckland, New Zealand Mon Sep 24 05:54:00 CEST 2001

My sister is taking 2o to 30 of the purple xanax a day when she can get them. She takes all of the familys money and buys them but then says the money was stolen or some excuse like or her nerves is so bad. I need advice on how to help her when she want admit she needs help. Worried Brother
wfaragon@bellsouth.net
Gene from Rome, Ga, USA Mon Sep 10 01:00:17 CEST 2001

Hello, I just want to say that my mail adres is changed: Hertog.D.den@nlgateway.net Because of helping people with benzo problems, they couldn't reach me. Dejan
Hertog.D.den@nlgateway.net
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Nederland Tue Sep 4 21:57:25 CEST 2001

Hello! I am over nine months clean from ativan, but have experienced some protracted w/d symptoms during the last few days. The first three months were the worst. After that I had some peace, and some sleep, and it felt great to be alive. The strangest thing I have found, when the protr. w/d kicks in, is how real all the CRAZINESS seems! Then my feet or hands will get icy cold, and my jaw will start to tremble(!) and I know its my old friend, protr. w/d! I did BZs for over twenty years on and off and then on continuously for 7 years. I had taken to drinking quite heavily also, to aleviate the mini w/ds. I was in a fine fix. I am so happy I took the necessary steps to free myself from this addiction. I learn more on this site than from the doctors and counsillors. I went off in 3 days. Much to fast, but the detox wants to get you off a quick as they can, money being in short supply. The staff at detox were wonderful, kind, professional, and they fed you real well. Too bad I couldn't eat!!! I'm expecting things to get better every day. I am so grateful to be alive, and I thank God for His help, and for the support of Benzo.org.uk, and NA.
tannerjane@hotmail
tannerjane , b.c., canada Wed Sep 5 03:20:58 CEST 2001

Help Me!!! Can someone be addicted to ATIVAN over ten days of its use.? What's happening to me ,are they nightmarish Withdrawl symptoms or some psychiatric problems??. I am a 24 year old male, an extremely energetic guy when it comes to soccer.:-), Two weeks back I had a panick attack, the reason was I have been thinking for over one year that there was something wrong with my body, I had numb hands and legs in the morning. I had also been under stress from my school and some other stuff too. So i went to an emergency in Phoenix, they had my EKG and other blood samples tests. Doctor later on gave me an injection which was presumably a sedative and wrote me 1 mg ativan for three days. He asked me to some stress councelling too. But I did not go to any stress councelling instead I chose to take that one pill every night for ten days. Now I have an appointment with a psychiatric on wednesday but I am having some nightmarish days. I have not taken any pill since the last four days I have mood swings, problems breathing, sleeplessness, feeling of being unhealthy, disoriented , trembling and stomach uneasiness..I have become more sensitive to sound from my inner body. PL. help with your mails and let me know what should I do. I have an appointment with the doctor after two days. Thanks in Advance
vxs5163@cs.rit.edu
Vivek Singh from Rochester, NY, USA Sun Sep 2 17:13:11 CEST 2001

I am currently taking Klonopin 4mg a day and Ativan 2mg as needed; I also take Neurontin 1200mg/day. I guess I would rather feel numb all the time rather than risk feeling hopeless lonely and scared. I know that what I am doing is harmful in the long run, but right now I feel invincable and invisable at the same time. I have every reason to be happy; but I just never am as long as I can remember. If anyone wants to E mail me w/ the same problem my address is hermes157@hotmail.com
hermes157@hotmail.com
Greg from houston, tx, USA Thu Aug 30 05:01:34 CEST 2001

Amazed !! 30 August 2001 ~ typed 'diazepam addiction' into a search site and look what I found !! My name is Gordon Weston, age 55, living ( existing ) in Bracknell, Berkshire (UK) and my 'story' started around the same as Dr. Reg Peart's ( VOT ) and by co-incidence, in Reading. A G.P. just off Oxford Road in Reading prescribed Librium ( I believe ) in response to a couple of 'feeling feint on the Waterloo to Reading train' incidents. Found out that was in 1968, according to my medical records when I was 'examined' for the Court case ( that never was ), around 1991. ( Just where did my £1,500-ish go ?? ) The librium was changed to norbrium, then several other types of stuff which I can't pronounce or remember and on to Valium around 1973, I think. That was changed to Diazepam sometime in the 70's. Seems the stuff created a state which is 'bundled' into the term 'Anxiety or Panic attacks' ~ the answer, then, was " Increase the dosage !! ". My medical records show ( because I sure as hell can't remember ) that by 1976 I was prescribed ( as in - typed on the bottle ) 2 x 5mg tablets to be taken 4 times a day ~ i.e. 40mgs .... THREE years of unbelievable HELL !!! Luckily most of that time is fairly 'blanked' .... I survived ~ started working again, with difficulty ~ until ..... I found Group therapy !! There were others !! I was NOT the only one .. 'alone' !! By the late 80's I had reduced to 5mgs a day and attended another group at the Cardinal Clinic, near Windsor. ( No-one in the medical profession ever suggested that I reduce ... I do NOT blame any G.P.'s .. especially the one who was in Reading in 1968 .. How could he have known ? ) I've got down to 4mgs now ~ stuck there and I manage. Anyone who reads this, especially G.P.'s .... 'Group Therapy' ... Counselling ... ANYTHING but the 'pills' !!! Any manufacturers who read this ~ Do you owe me any shares ?? You sure owe me a good few years ... Can I have them back ~ PLEASE ??? For a rate of 'pay' which reflects what I have suffered
gweston@mail.com
Gordon Weston from Bracknell, UK Fri Aug 31 00:33:02 CEST 2001

Hi everyone, just wanted to let you know that I am now over three months free of Xanax. I wrote on July 9th, I was not quite two months free at the time. I feel wonderful. It is a joy just to get up in the morning and feel "normal". Before the first thought in my head when I woke up was to take my pills. I could not function without them. Of course I have the everyday problems that everyone else has, but the difference is I can now handle them without pills. I still go to two to three AA meetings a week. The support I find there is wonderful. If I have had a bad day or if something happens that the idea of taking a pill will make me feel better, I go to a meeting. I now know that the short term effect of the pill will where off and it is a sorry solution to any problem. I wish all of you the best in getting off and staying off benzo's. I can't believe that a little over three months ago I wanted to die. I am not that person anymore and I am very thankful. Please do not give up hope, because it can and does get better!!
marymcaskill@hotmail.com
Mary McAskill from Charlottetown, PEI, Canada Wed Aug 29 01:25:51 CEST 2001

I have been free of ativan now for 3weeks 3days. The withdrawl were horrible. I was on a 1/2 a milligram for nine years. I had no idea how addicting they were. I have read about alot of withdrawl symptoms but I wondered if any one out there had a inflamed lympth node. I found a lump in my neck and went to the doctors today. He is doing blood tests to check for an infection and if they come back o.k. he wants me to get a biopsy. I am really freaking out about this. Like I dont have enough anxiety from the withdrawl! It is not very large and my allergies also just started up and I wonder if this has any thing to do with it. Any words of encouragement would be apprieceated. Thank you. Maureen
eschbaughphoto@aol.com
Maureen from Norton, USA, USA Wed Aug 29 02:05:42 CEST 2001

hello there all,i was prescribed prozac three years ago and that stuff in my mind is lethal.i was given diazepam by my doctor to counteract the prozac,i still tripped my face off,but it took the edge off my anxiety 5mgs 3 times daily was the dose,i took it for about three weeks.my doctor then decided to get me off it and within two days iwas back into the abyss,doc put the dose back up and i stabilized again,over the next month or so i cut it down to 2mgs four times daily,that was over three years ago.i am still taking that dose and dont feel to bad. ihave had chronic back problems over the past six years or so and the diazepam has really helped with the muscle spasms in my back.disscussed with my doc he says that because the diaz is so bene fical to my back pain that he feels that ther is nowt to worry about contiuing takin it,idont feel the urge to increase the dose and it still does help with my anxiety...i think!.i dont drink or smoke and i am 31yrs old,i get more pissed off taking the diaz as a matter of princple,i would like to knock it on the head but i am concerned about losing the mobility that diaz has given me physically with regards to the back pain.the doc says that i could ween myself of it over a period of weeks as he thinks the dose is so low,but i have read so much bad news about comin off the stuff i have continued to plod on as iam,any ones views about my scenario would be greatly appreciated..........the best to all keep well!
FEZMADHEADZ1R@HOTMAIL.COM
Dean from B,HAM, ENGLAND Fri Aug 24 02:23:24 CEST 2001

Hi readers, I hope you're all learning something. I just wanted to post a message since I was nosing around the site anyway. I was looking for something I heard on TV about a lawsuit against Lorazapam, and a refund possibly being available for those who were on it. I missed the 800#, and so far I haven't been able to find anything on the net. If anyone knows anything about that, please email mayabell77@yahoo.com. My experiences with benzos fortunately were not as harsh as most of you posting messages. I've been on them all, the one that worked best for me were the Klonopins, which I was taking for a little over a year. Since I became pregnant, I stopped taking them, along with the Prozac (even though they say Prozac is safe -- my OB/GYN even gave me a bag full of samples in case I changed my mind and wanted to stay on them ... I thought that was kind of odd). Anyway, I went through slight withdrawals, but nothing that lasted more than a week. Of course it's different for everyone, or maybe it was easier because I was doing it for the life that was growing inside of me. I'm still not taking them, since I'm nursing for his first year ... though as the days pass and my hormones come down to their "normal" level, I find that my depression and anxiety are coming back, slowly. I absolutely will not take any meds while nursing, so let's hope it doesn't get out of hand. ;) Thanks for listening, and good luck to you all.
mayabell77@yahoo.com
MaBell , MI, USA Fri Aug 24 20:31:45 CEST 2001

my doctor prescribed serzone for me with lexotanil 3 mg dailly .. first i felt much better then the side effect of serzone made me worst then before .. so i stopped the antidepressent drug and i'm still taking the lexotanil from time to time .. i don't feel like i'm addicted to benzodiazepines although i'm scared to leave it that i can feel bad again .. my doctor told me it wont be addictive drug as long i don't miss abuse it .. well but i'm scared really to be addicted to anything ..
alecbay@hotmail.com
alec bay from beirut, lebanon Thu Aug 23 09:36:30 CEST 2001

Tue Aug 21 11:44:02 CEST 2001

I was taking Ativan for about two years,i have been off it for just over two months and i am still having herendous withdrawal symptons,that have progressively got worse over the past few weeks.I have heard that people describe the withdrawal as being hell,well i would sooner be there than where i am at now.I feel in a desperate and lonely place,seperated from everyone and everything.The one thing that keeps me going is hope,the hope that what if tomorow is the first day that i start to feel better.Remember no matter how bad you feel you are not going to go mad,you wont die,and your not alone.There just feelings horrible,uncomfortable physical and psycological feelings that will eventully pass.
n/a
Anoushka Holland from EALING LONDON, ENGLAND Thu Aug 23 14:02:21 CEST 2001
N/A

This site does not scare me. Compared to the SSRIs and their ilk which I have been on continuously for over 10 years for panic disorder, Xanax is as gentle as the morning dew. I am (literally) willing to bet my life that sites like this will soon be emerging for the SSRIs, only 10X more of them. Amensia. Stupor. Long term effects. Have any of the people contributing to this site been on the "benign" antidepressants? Benzos are absolutely NOT perfect drugs. But, to be meaningful, you must *compare* them with their rivals/alternatives. For many "hardcases" like me we must choose the lesser of two-or-more evils and in my experience (for disabling panic disorder at least) Xanax simply destroys the competition. I hope this site has not driven many people to other, less effective and more dangerous treatments against their doctors' wishes.
Vlad the Impaler , USA Mon Aug 20 15:04:36 CEST 2001

This is a helpful website. I am currently withdrawing from klonipin and taking ativaan so i will not have panic attacks so severely. After 10 yearss of taking klonipin, it seemed to turn around on me and cause the anxiety. Would like to hear from anyone that can offer help. These feelings are awful. thanks.
marymarga@aol.com
kathleen from Raymond, MS, USA Sun Aug 19 03:42:20 CEST 2001

I quit taking serzone (antidepressant), risperdal (antipsychotic) and ativan (benzo) two months ago. I am still taking wellbuterin and zoloft. I just discovered that ativan was an addictive drug three days ago when I typed "ativan addiction" in a search. Wow! I do feel better because I realize that I am not crazy, but I also am struggling because I am experiencing withdrawel symptoms still! I often feel just like I did between doses of my ativan. I can't describe it. It is terrible and no one understands. How long does this last?
mnjblakely@aol.com
J from anonymous, USA Fri Aug 17 10:38:26 CEST 2001

7 weeks and I'm still clean from my 6mg a day xanax habit. I still don't feel great but I am now able to do things whereas before, all I could do was stay at home and be miserable. I hope everyone who wants to get off of benzos can manage without giving in to their withdrawl. The thing that helped most was being told over and over "it does get better". I am posting this in order to hopefully give hope to someone that wants to get off the benzos or who may be withdrawing currently. I actually feel phenomenal compared to a month ago. If anyone would like to e-mail for some encouragement or anything else, feel free. Take care and God Bless.
bbm@barnesbaker.com
Andy , , Mo, USA Thu Aug 16 10:47:18 CEST 2001

I was in physciatric hospital for 5 months, and for 10 of those first weeks, I was on lorazapam coz I got real angry (only just turned 18 at the time). Nobody ever told me they were adictive coz I didn't know anything about them, all I knew is that they worked. Then they took me off them, and my problems were like before, but worse. Cops kept being called etc. Now I am discharged, I went to my GP and explained the problem, and said that I need some more, but only to use when I really need them, so that I don't become dependant again, so I am on Lorazi's again. I also suffer from very bad depression which is what put me in hospital in the first place, coz I was found unconcious somewhere. This site was interesting in that it said all the bad stuff that happens when using lorazi's, but it keeps me from being locked up! As I have told the Doctors, Nurses, Phyciatrists, Hypnotheriapists, and my Parents
n/a
Rob , UK Wed Aug 15 16:59:01 CEST 2001

good site
newmick10@hotmail.com
michael new from pattaya, thailand Fri Aug 10 21:27:38 CEST 2001

i have been on and off valium for quite a long time,years in fact,i have just come across a drug called atarax, can anybody give me any information on this drug.I have tried to stop valium altogether but it keeps me housebound ,so i take 10mgs a day, it gets me a half normal life,i know about valium and the withdrawal symptoms, but i know nothing of atarax,any information would be gratefully recieved....thanks
newmick10@hotmail.com
michael from pattaya, thailand Fri Aug 10 21:34:00 CEST 2001

Today is day 7 of being totally free of ativan. I have been taking 0.5mlg. for 9 years. I started taking it for panic disorder and never stopped. I knew my body was addicted to this drug but did not want to addmitt it. I feel 100% better without the ativan. No more racing heart. What a relief! I tapered to a half a pill the first four days and then stopped completely on the 5th day. It was hell but I'm glad the worst is over. No more shakes! I am still not a 100% but getting better every day. If anyone is trying to get off, please write me for some moral support.God bless and best of luck.
EschbaughPhoto@aol.com
Maureen from Norton, OH, USA Mon Aug 13 18:40:14 CEST 2001

I have taken St Johns Wart and I found it worked very well but like many Herball remedies it should be closely watched by someone who knows the stuff, and some do, apparently it is used in Europe quite a lot, Kava Kava on the other hand is considered by a lot to be a lot like a narcotic, the Island people that discovered it use it as a sleep aid and as a recreational drug, I have insomnia from Fybromialgia and I have tryed it but found it had a bit of a hangover effect, Melatonin is not for everyone either, can help sleep but can cause people who are depressed to be more so. Fact is folks we are on the edge of finding drugs that help any mental anguish, many cause worse anguish so you have to be carefull with them all, but keep the faith, things will get better,try if you can to stay off of the large doses of Benzodiazepines, so addicting, so hard to recover from, in the short run they help a lot but in the long run they are so hard to get off of, life is hard enough for a lot of people, adding a drug dependancy just makes it numb the pain but eventually you will sour of it, detox may be your only way, in my research I have noticed that good exercise can help wear down the anxiety and the need for drugs.. Keep your stick on the ice....
jagpill@hotmail.com
Me , Canada Mon Aug 13 04:20:53 CEST 2001

My son who is now nineteen, has suffered from panic attacks for over four years now. He's been on a myiad of medications, some that worked for awhile and some that made his anxiety worse or left him extremely ill. Recently a new doctor prescribed him zanx. After just taking one dose, he was more anxious than ever and stayed up all nite. Yesterday, he was given ativan. I thank God for this site as they will both go in the garbage! What worries me is that he uses alcohol to cope but compared to the benzo's, I'd have to say it's the lesser of two evils. Has anyone out there been suceesful with using melatonin, St john' wort and kava kava or any other herbs? Please help. God bless you all!!!!
oxbird@iwon.com
kathy bartek from green bay, ak, USA Tue Aug 7 22:45:05 CEST 2001

I am looking for a support group in South Africa or anybody with information on epilepsy in children and the use of epilum in a two year old. My niece had what appears to be a seizure when she was 2years old. Was put on epilum by a peadiatrician. Her condition deteriorated as she fell behind other children in her age group. Also had very violent emotional outburst very frequently but never again a seizure. After 4 years her mother stopped the use of epilum and she started to appear better. She seem to catch up with other children much better and was doing better in school. She just had another seizure and the mother do not want her to go back on epilum and witness her child deteriorating again. Can somebody please help. We want to get into contact with a doctor that specialises in epilepsy in children. Thank you Miriam
m_cloete@xsinet.co.za
Miriam Cloete from Port Nolloth, South Africa Mon Aug 6 22:18:52 CEST 2001

I am a member of The Compassionate Friends support group. This group is for the parents of children who have died. Their are a number of the members of our group who are on these terrible pills. What I am wondering is, does anyone know the names of doctors who are aware and are willing to help people deal with the horrific aftermath of these things. I hesitate to go anyone with the information about the pills if I can't help with the consequences. I know someone now who wants to get off the pills and is afraid to. Her doctor just tells her not to be silly the pills aren't hurting her, It's all in your head. "Just take your pills". Please, can anyone help? Em
Moira_Tait@telus.net
Em from Victoria, BC, CA Fri Aug 3 23:43:18 CEST 2001

I would like to thank all the courageous people who posted on this board. I too had a serious withdrawl from xanax. I went into the treatment center for percocet abuse and was told I needed to get off of xanax. I had been taking them for 6 years ( 6mg a day for the last for years steady). The pain pills were not a problem to get off, however, I felt like I'd died and gone to hell tying to get off of the xanax. This lasted for around 5 weeks. The first week was tapering down from 6mg a day to 1/2 mg a day. Evedintly this was an extremely high dose so the withdrawl was severe. It is now 31 days since my last dose of bensos, and I feel much better. It didn't happen overnite but there was a definite breakthrough in the anxiety, the shakes, and the feeling of not being able to resolve a conflict in my mind and body. The withdrawl meds are as follows. Buspar (45mg a day), Paxil (60mg a day), Amatriptyline (75mg a day), Trazedone at night and finally, Tegretol, 200mg a day. Thanks to this board, I was able to suggest a medicine (Tegretol) that seemed to work, however, it may just be time. I guess the point of all this is twofold; First, to give hope and encouragement to all of those unfortunate souls who happen to be cursed with a benzo problem, and second, to teach people that they need to take the initiative in researching medecine and withdrawl procedures. The fact of the matter is that there is no standard protocol for dealing with this situation and now that xanax is the fourth best selling drug in the US, the problem will be epidimic before a decent program is found. I personally know another gal from the treatment center who has also withdrawn from the amount of xanax that I have and she's been clean for 8 months and seems to be doing well. I will post my status from time to time, hopefully, giving hope to those who need it most. Take care and God Bless!
bbm@barnesbaker.com
Andy , MO, USA Sat Jul 28 20:20:46 CEST 2001

Xanax has saved my life. I have read all the postings on here, and do not agree. I am not addicted, only take the Xanax when I need it, and it helps me to function and do things I otherwise would not be able to do!!!!
davesmyhoney@hotmail.com
Cindy , USA Fri Jul 20 19:15:48 CEST 2001

Iam now about eight weeks clean from my addiction. my main problem I thought was street drugs.I do realise that most people given benzo's by doctors are fortunate in the fact that they are not drug addicts in the sense of illicit drugs but must admit to being able to relate to us unfortunate ones who only have ourselves to blame for our situation.nevertheless doctors in england try to help us who just like you have sought after a remedy to our personal problems chemicly ,have made us extreamly the worse by prescribing liberaly benzo;s ei diazapam. This is crazy, firstly benzo's increase our chances of overdose;my 23 yr old brother died last year;and make withdrawals almost impossible.Iam 31 have been a drug user for 11 yrs a heroin addict for six or so but have been taking 40 mls valium for two yrs not that long.but one thing i am sure of is that my own self inflicted pain is nothing to the agony doctors are giving to good people everywhere who ask them for a releif of anxiaty,LET ME SAY you dont know anxiaty or near mental illness/breakdown until bezo's .sorry to go on but i am now free of the withdrawals that has haunted me for weeks ;thats just on my small dose;so everyone who is winning the battle against drugs espesialy benzo's we deserve all the help that is available and more jn/3/16 thanks MARK NORFOLK ENGLAND
mark thompson from norfolk, england Thu Jul 19 21:06:03 CEST 2001

Here is the addy for the lawsuit. Anyone who was on these meds and were over charged will be refunded money. Just go to this site and contact the atorney general. http://www.agsettlement.com/ The two drugs listed in the suit are lorazepam generic form of ativan and clorzepate gernric form of tranxene or call 1-800-899-5806. Hope this will help some one . MK
loviey@rocketmail.com
loviey , USA Tue Jul 17 05:02:46 CEST 2001

I have just been reading the posts for about two hours and I am surprised that more people are not mentioning Detox and Rehab. I noticed that in some of the letters people are withdrawing for the second and third time. I have been on Xanax for the past 16 years. On May 15/01 I was a week without any Xanax and thought I was going to die. The withdrawal was so severe I knew I could not do this alone. It took all my courage to go to the Treatment Centre. It was the smartest thing I have ever done in my life. They treated me for withdrawal, but more than that, I learned all about addiction and treatment in Rehab. One thing I did learn and I think I already knew this, is that this is a life long battle and I can't beat it alone. I went off of Serax about five years ago, but could not stay away from the drugs when the anxiety got to be to much. I found the people at the Treatment Centre really cared and wanted to help. I found hope in this. I attend PA (Pills Annoymous and AA) 2-3 times a week. I found this very hard at first, but I see the people at the meetings are happy and content and I want this for me too. I know it won't happen overnight, but if I work at it and with God's help I will achieve this contentment eventually. I think the hardest part of coming off anything is being alone and thinking no one cares or understands. Once you reach out for help you will be amazed how many people really do want to help. Thanks for listening
marymcaskill@hotmail.com
Mary from Charlottetown, PE, CANADA Mon Jul 9 21:56:10 CEST 2001

I was wondering if anyone had heard about a lawsuit. I only cought part of the comcercial today on tv. It said anyone taking lorazapam or diazapam. Which i have been on both for almost 3 years now. To help me sleep better. If you have any information please contact me. I run a lupus support chat and forum on talkcity. The room is the lupuschatclub. Would like to know if they had a bad batch or what the lawsuit is about. Thank you for your help. Would like to share storys as many of us with lupus , fibromyalgia and other connective tissue diseases are often priscribed these types of medicines.
loviey@rocketmail.com
marykay , tx, USA Wed Jul 11 06:35:14 CEST 2001

I would like to stop taking Xanax (1.25 mgs a day)and was wondering what longer acting benzo do they give you before you taper off? What benzo would some of you recommned who have gone thru Xanax withdraw?
cqki8fh@juno.com
Dan from garden city, mi, USA Mon Jul 2 21:44:28 CEST 2001

Sure glad I found your site as I am tapering off Ativan and next will be Xanax. The support from reading about others ways of coping with withdrawal is helpful. I've been on and off different meds for about 40 years (yes, I'm 65) and they have been prescribed mostly for panic attacks. Then fibromyalgia, sleeplessness. Now I have developed atrial fibrillation, which I know can be caused by too slow a heartbeat, which I have developed from Ativan - and possibly the combination of drugs. I have to stop taking them to find out if this is a factor, but am doing it under along with my doctor monitoring me - and VERY gradually. Wish me luck!!! By the way, your website on AF is the best - I have been to three different cardiologists, and they don't know much of anything as to cause and treatment, so I've printed off the info for myself. Thanks for everything and wish me well. Bertha
wilberpet
Bertha Hanschke from Invermere, BC , CANADA Sat Jun 30 18:43:56 CEST 2001
@cyberlink.bc.ca

My story is similar to most benzodiazapam tragedies. I was prescrbed diazepam as well as methadone for heroin addiction. Little did I know my heroin addiction was small and withdrawals were mild in comparison to the mind-warping anxiety and unreality of coming off the little tablets. While I was experiencing benzo withdrawals I thought I was losing the plot, for definite, but after a week things started to get a little easier. Then after three weeks I started feeling normalish again, but unfortunately I relapsed onto heroin for one day, just to relieve myself of the valium withdrawals,which was obviously a mistake. I don't recommend anyone with a drug problem to exchange it for diazepam - it's a bad deal. Mark. ps the valium withdrawals do go and your real self does come back - thank God.
mark from norfolk, england Wed Jun 27 17:42:46 CEST 2001

I was prescribed Ativan for anxiety, to be taken on an 'as needed' basis. The problem was, I was immersed in a super-stressful work situation, with a lot of difficult, neurotic personalities in charge. I found that an "as needed" basis was in fact fairly frequently, like every day. Any time I was confronted with problems, and I got that feeling of losing control of my anxiety, I would go to the bathroom and take one. I went to a psychopharmacologist who encouraged me to take MORE and told me since I didn't fit the 'addict profile' I wouldn't get addicted. How ridiculous! Was he lying through his teeth or what? Do these guys enjoy turning innocent, vulnerable patients into drug addicts? The prescription was to take 2 mg. twice a day. I was hooked; when I wasn't on the Ativan, I felt depression, and state of mind I could only describe as extreme dread (particularly when I woke up in the morning). I reduced pretty quickly after reading one of these websites; at first I thought I would do OK because I had the experience of tapering off of Klonopin years ago. This was much worse than Klonopin; feelings of going insane, terrible metallic taste in my mouth, headaches, bowel aches, depersonalization (looking in the mirror and not thinking it's you), insomnia, intense fear and paranoia, disorientation. One minute I would think I was improving, the next that I was getting worse. It's been 18 days, and I've kicked the acute withdrawal symptoms; now it's just a matter of negotiating the anxiety, which, as you all know, can feel like entering a labyrinth blindfolded.
Joe from New York, USA Thu Jun 28 06:12:48 CEST 2001

Hello everyone, I know a lot of benzodiazepines. I just want to say that EVERYBODY may mail me for questions, because I've got information in my computer about ALL benzo's over the world, so I, for example, might tell you how to stop with clonazepam without horrible feelings. I will take everybody very serious, and I'll try to help you. So mail me. God Bless, Dejan den Hertog
dejan-den-hertog@hetnet.nl
Déjan den Hertog from Den Haag, The Netherlands Mon Jun 25 02:16:16 CEST 2001
??

Hi! I am Sherry, I have been off klonopin for 3 weeks. I was taking 2 mg a day that began as 1/2 mg a day 8 years ago. This medication is not supposed to be prescribed for more than 9 weeks...I have learned.I was put on it after a divorce, and the death of all my family of origin. I was raising my Granddaughter alone, couldn't eat or sleep. Having her to care for alone, I have struggled so much, with jobs. I did not have a career when I got a divorce. I still don't. I have to get to work, but I am coming off this drug, and I have dizziness, and muscle s that are tiring easily. I have gained some weight, cannot function, stumble, memory loss, headaches, some difficulty getting words to my mouth. I wonder if I had a stroke, or seizure. Last I spoke with my Md about getting off this he said to wean myself off, so I did, in a week. An online friend looked the drug up in the PDR and said that it has this half life, so it should take me 48 days to come off of it. I am worried that the dizziness will not stop. It is not decreasing. Any ideas anyone? I had jerking of my body for the first 2 weeks quite a lot, but that has subsided. I htink it is good to know what symptoms can be expected, and the time period, so not to be as scared. To be informed is very important. I want to remain positive about this, and have a sense that I will be ok in 27 days or sooner. Anyone who has information about the dizziness and memory due to their own experience would be someone I would like to hear from. Thanks to all of you who are open enough to share. S
jerez598@earthlink.net
sherry from seattle, WA, USA Fri Jun 22 14:44:41 CEST 2001

I have taken valium 2mg 3 times a day for almost 6 years. I have never increased dose, even when my Doctor offered. I had severe panic disorder. Valium saved me. The "side effects" listed are how I felt before it, not with it. I am able to work, interact, drive, shop, etc. etc. and it even stopped my depression. So to me these bad stories sound like too much drug for these people, abuse, or the wrong type of medication for them. I would never continue something that wasnt helping me. Other drugs, such as paxil made me feel bad, valium helped me. But, on the other hand I wonder if I even need it anymore, other than withdrawal from what my body is used to. My Doctor has suggested that if I want to try going off, that I go off gradualy over a six month period to minimize withdrawals. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that all experiences with valium are not bad and that if used properly can be of great help to some people. They have never sedated me or made me confused or any of those things, but I have never abused my medication either. I dont think its for everyone, as each person reacts differently and I also think that some people may take too much of what they think is a good thing. For me I hated panic attacks, I hated feeling out of control, and therefor would not want to abuse my medication to a point where it made me feel drugged and not in control. 2mg a day, three times a day, has never adversly affected me, but I had a problem that needed help and it did just that. Im glad that my doctor realized that other chemical medicines were not right for me, such as antidressants which can permanently alter brain chemicals and cause irreversible damage. Those medications may be right and the best thing for some people. What we must realize is that everyone is different and will not react the same way to medicines. Im sorry that some people have had such trouble with benzodiazepines and hope that they will learn to speak up to the doctor when something doesnt work or feel right, that is a signal of trouble. And if a medication drugs you out, its too much and you should tell your doctor right away. Thanks, just wanted to share my experience and let you know that all experiences with valium are not bad when used in moderation. Thanks.
familyconnelley@aol.com
Jennifer from slc, ut, USA Fri Jun 22 17:29:00 CEST 2001

Hi everybody, I am Wayne from Canada. First of all I wanted to say that reading these letters has given me relief knowing that there are other people out there. I have been on the drug Clonazepam(Tranxene) for the last 8 years now. The reason I was originally put on these was so I could calm down to sleep at night. It was also to relieve me of panic attacks of which we are all familiar. Now it has been 8 years and thanks to a book called Addiction to Prescription by Joan E.Gadsby I am starting to realize that it may have been adding to my panic and not helping it. You see I've taken these for 8 years to sleep better or calm me down. My doctor has now told me it only did that for the first 3 months and I am just dependent. Since taking these I have lost weight, can't concentrate, went through jobs, developed a temper, had no real drive, and have just felt lost. Now its nice to know that it may not have been my fault after all. Now is the first time in those 8 years that I realize there is a problem, I have to fight it, and eventually get my real life back. I took the first step this week by joining a Gym. My doctor is also starting to lower my dosage on the Tranxene by .25 mg's. If you know of other ideas on how I can help myself please e-mail me at waynelondonontario@yahoo.com . Thanks Bye for now.Wayne.
waynelondonontario@yahoo.com
Wayne Roberts from London, On, Canada Wed Jun 20 18:31:20 CEST 2001
I don't know what url means

Hello, all. I've Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue and hypothyroidism. Been taking Klonopin for 5+ years. I'm both frightened and comforted by everyone's postings...I know now I'm not alone but I am deeply saddened that so many of us have been hurt simply searching for relief of symptoms. I've noticed creeping weight gain, crushing depression, difficulty concentrating, poor balance, loss of speech/cognition,lethargy, severe carbo dependency and panic attacks. Does anyone else have FM and take clonazepam for sleep? I take .5mg daily. What are the long term effects of Klonopin? My story is trifling compared to so many of you...I'm awestruck by the courage I've read here. I wish you all peace.
afnovick@home.com
Aly , RI, USA Tue May 29 01:37:29 CEST 2001

I have noticed lately that Ativan addiction rather than being educated and treated like all bezo addictions is on the rise! Doctors dont know the affects or dont care or the drug companies just want more money, you be the judge, it is an awfull painfull thing to detox off of these drugs, sometimes forcing people to enter detox risking there reputations as well as sometimes there careers over something prescribed by a doctor, I guess we should make people more accountable, I hope the best for all of you who write here and my prayers go with you, keep up the fite and remember Keep Your Stick On The Ice..
jagpill@hotmail.com
Abe , Canada Sun May 27 05:33:15 CEST 2001

what a marvellous idea this site is!!!!!!!!!! I went through sheet hell 2 years ago when I came off Ativan. I was only on it for about 4 months due to a severe injury and high pain.. I was absolutely terrified when I tried to withdraw too quickly and ended up in a Detox center. The whole process was a nightmare. I thank god I am still living. We need to support each other and connect our resources and experiences. Personally I think Ativan should be taken off the market!!! Yes, some people withdraw fairly well but no one should ever go through what I did. The addiction doctors seem to be the only ones that know and understand what can happen. Most GP's get minimal training in school on addiction and withdrawal.... I had one that just did not understand. She prescribed in the name of helping a pain condition and the net results were disasterous. I wish you all well that are contemplating withdrawal or are in the process of withdrawal..... My advice??? GET SOME GOOD KNOWLEDGEABLE SUPPORT take care
mcc13@telus.net
Claire Campbell from Vancouver, BC, Canada Sat May 26 05:09:35 CEST 2001

I had been on Xanax on and off since 1983 following a panic attack, which started a chain of years of panic. My doctor recommended the xanax and in combination with Cognitive behavioural therapy I used it. I continued to use it on and off and found myself using it for sleeping for many years. In 1999 I went to work on cruise ships and my doctor prescribed me 500 /.50mg pills to take with me. The cruise ship job didn't work out for me so I ended up living in Nassau with my soon to be husband. I didn't know this but for years I was suffering from in between dose withdrawal. I thought I was just a nervous person, when I experienced light/heavy headness feelings, nervousness, shaking inside and anxiety. I had no idea that the drug was causing these problems. Last early fall after suffering from a lot of personal disapointments and let downs I made a suiside attempt with Xanax (since I had so many left from the cruise ship) I combined the Xanax with alchohol and thankfully I didn't die. I did lose two days of complete memory recall and was medi vac't to Washingto D.C. for medical treatment. From there the shrinks put me on Paxil, which I took for 6 months. I guess the Paxil eliminated the withdrawal symptoms but I was still also taking Zolpliclone for sleeping. In December the problems that I thought were so horrible were over with and I decided to go off the Paxil. I went cold turkey and ended up dealing with horrid withdrawal symptoms from the Paxil. I was never told this would happen and I went through hell. I ended up restarting the Paxil and began a very slow weaning schedule. This took me until March to feel normal again. In April my sleeping pill prescription ran out and I decided to quit them for good. The miracle- nervousness gone, anxiety gone, sleeping patturns returned to normal and I feel great!!! I never knew that I had suffered from in between dosage withdrawal until I put two and two together. I suffered for years from these drugs thinking they were helping me. They were ruining me and I didn't even know it. I am so grateful that I didn't die last fall, what a tragic ending it would have been. Thank-you Christine
christine@coralwave.com
Christine from Nassau, Bahamas Thu May 24 18:34:22 CEST 2001

Hi, I am a recent sufferer of panic attacks, 2 in the last month. Each time i found myself in the ER of a hospital, The 1st time they prescribed xanax, which i took one tab, and actually prefered the anxiety, over the effects of the medication. After a couple of days and some soul searching, the anxiety passed. 3 weeks later another attack, as most of you know, it;s not the attack but the anxiety that follows, that was giving me trouble, I once again went to the ER but asked for some psyciatric help. after talking to a psyciatrist, they are pretty sure it's not panic disorder, but just random attacks, and they gave me zoloft, which I have not taken (yet). My anxiety seems to subside in a few days. After finding this site, I'm glad I did not take them, if someone has had a similar experience, I'd like some feedback. Thanks
komico@total.net
Lee , canada Thu May 24 21:42:25 CEST 2001

Just in case anyone here has missed it the Benzodiazepine Awareness Network petition is at: http://www.petitiononline.com/benzo/petition.html and I would encourage you all to read it and sign it if you agree. Let's make a difference! Ray http://www.benzo.org.uk
Ray , UK Thu May 24 23:24:50 CEST 2001
http://www.petitiononline.com/benzo/petition.html

Hi, I haven't written here for a while and wanted to stop back and update people on my recovery. I am now two years and eight months free of ativan. I have not so much as even taken an aspirin in all that time. I have kept up a meticulous diet, drink lots of pure water, and some supplements. All I can tell you is the road is not easy, but gradually we all do get better. There is so much more available now on the internet than there was two years ago and this is great for all the new people to come. I never thought a few years ago, that so many more would be added and still looking for help. It seems that even though there is so much more information available, the doctors who have the power to stop this madness of misprescribing and overprescribing don't want to know about the dangers of these drugs. It will take all of us here to get the word out and each and everyone's efforts help.
GCBURNS55@aol.com
Geraldine Burns from Boston, MA, USA Sun May 13 01:15:10 CEST 2001
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/benzo/join

Hi Just want to congratulate to a very informative site about benzo dependency. Ove
evoca@telia.com
Ove from Herrljunga, Sweden Thu May 10 09:33:08 CEST 2001
hem.passagen.se/evoca

I have been taking benzodiazapenes off and on for about 11 years. Where I live, it is very easy to get them on the black market, as Mexico is 4 hours away, and, as many well know, the doctors down there will happily prescribe you whatever it is that you need. To those that have never suffered a full-bore panic attack, the symptoms you might describe would sound inconceivable or ludicrous; they have no frame of reference. But, at various times, given the choice between total incapacitaion and the ability to toil through your workday, I have taken the low road of drugs. For example, I just got off of work...My workday, today, lasted 14 hours, driving obnoxious drunken college kids, poor families, prostitutes, buisinessmen, and everything inbetween in heavy traffic, in my Taxi, never knowing who might do what. At one point in the day, the headache and anxiety were so overwhelming, that I made the choice: to take .5 mg of Xanax, or to go home and miss out on making another $100. Not to downplay the horrible side effects of the over-use of these drugs ! At one point last Fall, my consumption was up to about 2 mg. of Xanax per day, plus about 8 beers, plus caffeine and cigarettes, all exacerbated by an extremely nasty relationship. What I guess I am getting at, is that when I realized that I was totally out of hand, and decided to get my act together, it became totally clear that the only way to reduce the intake of these chemicals, and remain capable of work, especially the kind of work that pays well enough to live here in Austin, is to cut down GRADUALLY. I had the best luck with Ativan (Lorazepam.) It seems to exit your system a little more gently. Within a week or two, though, by gradually cutting down the dose, I was no longer taking them daily, and, eventually, though the terror and discomforts were truly awful, I had arrived back at my old schedule of "as needed", as in once to three times weekly the minimum useful dose. Some day, perhaps I will be in a place where I can cut back even further, as I have over the years, to once every 6 months or so, but in the meantime, those drugs really do provide a last ditch defense against overwhelming stress. There is a wealth of information on the net about the actual physiological effects of these drugs, unfortunately, a few folks would like to make a tidy profit selling you books. Try http://brnzo.org.uk/rikr.htm out for a read. Good luck, everybody.
sean in texas , USA Sun May 6 13:39:32 CEST 2001

Hi... I just did a search on the drug Topomax and got this sight as the number 1 choice. Ironically, I am taking lorazepam as well and have been taking it for 16 years in varying degrees. I am now taking 4 .5 mg tablets per day. My question is that I have recently stopped taking Zoloft and began taking Topomax because I had gained so much weight. I have just this week stopped the Topomax because it was causing stomach pains and increased acid. But I have been feeling depressed and lethargic. Does anyone know anything about Topomax? It is an anti-seizure drug primarily that is used for depression, too as I was told. Thank you.
sfr1804@aol.com
Suzanne from Greer, SC, USA Sun Apr 29 06:07:06 CEST 2001

Hello everybody, Many people have mailed me with questions about benzo's and I'm very happy I can help them. There is one little problem. My mail adress has been changed. So don't mail to xs4all72@hotmail.com anymore, but to d_den_hertog@hetnet.nl I hope that 'they' will post this message on this site. Dejan den Hertog
d_den_hertog@hetnet.nl
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Tue May 1 05:04:58 CEST 2001

My 70 yr old mother has been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks and her Dr. has prescibed various medications- the latest being lorezepam,which she takes on an as needed basis. WHAT IS REALLY BOTHERSOME is that her attacks have not lessened and she has lost her appetite-which has caused her to loose weight and has affected her health. Has anyone else experienced a loss of appetite- some people might like weight loss but now she is very frail and we are worried.
kkdk@earthlink.net
K. Ryan , TX, USA Thu May 3 03:40:48 CEST 2001

I have been taking klonopin for almost a year and it has helped me tremenously, panic has faded over time, and no real side effects, besides the occasional drowsiness, 1.75/day, and I figure if it has helped and other things didn't, well I guess I'm doing myself a favor, and if I have to take it for the rest of my life, I guess I will. Benzos can be bad for some people, but not all. Guess i'm one of the few supporters of klonopin. Relax, exercise, and live a little. You'll be fine.
zapsterx2001@aol.com
Jeremy Whitman from North Aurora, IL, USA Tue Apr 3 21:02:17 CEST 2001

i take xanor, valium and ephedrine nearly every day, i also take marihuana each day, i love it, why do people complain about the above mentioned prescription drugs, hell i wish i had a prescription, but now i have to steal it
ansie_yssel@ananzi.co.za
anna iseli , South-Africa Wed Apr 4 19:16:29 CEST 2001

I have been on clonazepam for 8 months because of post trama disorder was on 1mg and now 0.75 had 5 months of therpy also have anxiety for 10 months since heart problem now panic attacks have began drs says to take ativan in the 0.5mg during panic . Ihave a neww counsellor for the anxiety and panic attacks and since the panic attacks have started i have been able to handle then on my own, they only last second .I found a anxiety and panic attack program which i start next month. I really don't want to take ativan for a panic attack i want to learn how to handle them on my own andi know that will take many more months of therpy and thats ok my clonazepam i will lower that again when i am ready and except the fact thatthe pills are what is controling my anxiety it is me that is controling my anxiety >so my question is to everybody suffering in anxiety and panic attacks have any of you tried therpy and believe in your self , change your life do what you need to do, get to the root of your anxiety and get ride of it like i am trying to do keep positive, think positive that has beeen the best help for me , and many months of therpy and many more to come, but i will make it and i have my life back . M sister was on these drugs for years and is totally dependent, i woun,t let that happen to me and remember god is with all of us, just ask him for help and he will help you.
mdietl@primus.ca
suzy from ridgway, ont, canada Thu Apr 5 14:54:48 CEST 2001
re: benzodiaepine

So glad to here WERE NOT ALONE.I've been taking 30mg of oxazepam 4 times a day for the last 8 tears!It all started when I came down with the epstein barr syndrome,at night my thinking pattern was all messed up.Could not concentrate or remember anything,I truly believed I was losing it.Then the witch doctor(extremely pissed that my family dr. did not warn me of the addictive side)prescribed OXAZEPAM.Problem solved!Here I am 8 years later trying to get off these useless pills.In the last 3 months Ive managed to drop to 2 a day Im gradually weening myself off.My brain feels like its going to explode,I'm in a daydream that I can't snap out of,short term memory terrible,constant headacke,and still have 2 more of these pills to go.I guess this is withdrawl.Thanks for letting me vent my frustration,everybody tells me its all in my head!Reading all these other stories has given me the boost I needed.My goal OXEZAPAM free in 2 months.We can do it!!!!!April 2001.
sdcantin@yahoo.com
Denis Cantin , ont, canada Mon Apr 2 02:13:00 CEST 2001

Hi Group, Your stories sound so similar to mine. I took Xanax for 12 years. I went to the local hospital for detox and I don't think that they know how to detox benzo patients. The took me off "cold turkey" and told me to go to AA meetings and explain to the group as to WHY I abused this drug. My withdrawals put me in HELL for a long time. I spent 2 years unable to leave my house. My wife cared for me during that time giving up her life also. I am now 4 years drug-free and have made a lot of progress. I can work again, go to school and have a smile on my face. I still get anxiety but it is liveable. I joined a support group on the net and it has been helping me to move forward by sharing stories with other sufferers. Please choose a treatment facility that is familiar with benzodiazepine addiction. My journey was a hard one but well worth it. I succeeded and so can you. Bradley
BKStrom@wi.rr.com
Bradley from Milwaukee, WI, USA Tue Mar 27 18:12:31 CEST 2001

Hi Everyone! No super-long story here...I just wanted to say "hello" to eveveryone and commend all of you who are trying to stop these very addictive drugs. I am also an insomniac and have been for years. The drug abuse started when my father, an MD, started prescribing a cough syrup called Phenegryn about 20 years ago while I was in college. I became dependent on it for sleep because it contains antihistamine. He keep prescribing this for me for years...and I kept taking it. Then, around 6 years ago, in 1995, I went to a therapist/psychiatrist for the sleep problem again and she started me on Ambien...the number one sleeping pill in the country. I was at a very stressfull job and had a huge problem being able to fall asleep and get up at 7am. I took Ambien EVERY NIGHT for a total of 6 years until about 2 months ago. I stopped completely on January 19th, 2001. I did this all on my own with some strong encouragement from a girlfriend and I am so glad I stopped. This was so so hard for me because this drug literally "knocked me out" and I was very dependent on it. It also has an amnesiac effect and I would lose all of my inhibitions so it was VERY HARD to give up psychologically...but I did it. HAS ANYONE OUT THERE HAD EXPERIENCE WITH AMBIEN? If so, plese let me know. I started off at 5mg in 1995, and never allowed myself to take more than 2mg (2 10mg pills) at night. When I stopped two months ago I was taking 10mg. Also, about two and a half years ago, I went to an MD who did nothing but prescribe meds for patients. My therapist at the time referred me to her because of my panic attacks during the day. She started me on Ativan (a.k.a. Lorezapam)and also Paxil. BIG MISTAKE! I only took the Ativan (.5mg) as needed during the day when I was having panic attacks. Then, about a year and a half ago(August 1999), I went to the UCLA Sleep Disorder Clinic to get help getting off the Ambien so I could get pregnant eventually. The Head of the Neurology at UCLA (and also my doctor)diagnosed me as a "very sensitive, intelligent, introspective, and anxious young woman who developed insomnia that is chronic psychophysiological with mild adopted behaviors of hypnotic dependency and rebound insomnia"...exactly (I have her diagnosis). She recommended a combination therapy of Nortriptyline 25mg, 2 hours before bed, Paxil in the am, reducing the dosage of Ambien at night, and re-training my circadian rhythm. NONE of this worked. I had to stop taking Nortriptyline because I felt so DRUGED the next day. It was awful. Then, about 10-12 months ago, she prescribed Ativan/Lorezapam(.5mg) again and told me to take this at night as I was reducing my Ambien dosage. Well, I'm sure all of you know what has happened since I stopped the Ambien 2 months ago...I am now taking 1.5mg of Ativan/Lorezapam every night because I have such anxiety about being able to relax and fall asleep at night. I am working with another doctor who is a drug addiction specialist. She is trying to ween me off this a little at a time but just recently put me on another benzo called Oxazepam (15mg). Has anyone taken this before? I can't take this at all. I've felt drugged and sleepy the next day and I have very strange dreams. I KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD NOT CURE A BENZO ADDICTION WITH ANOTHER ONE...even if the half-life is supposed to be shorter. It makes me feel 10 times worse than if I took Ambien or Ativan. Very similar to the Nortriptyline experience. I truly believe in my heart that I can stop all of these medications because I have already stopped the most addictive one for me...AMBIEN. I welcome comments or thoughts from anyone who knows about these drugs and I would love to find a good BENZO SUPPORT GROUP in my area...Santa Clarita. Can anyone help me??? So far, all of the doctors haven't done anything. I need to do this on my own and find a good support group. Thank you all for listening. I had NO IDEA that I would type this much. I was just going to say "HELLO".
dnc52999@aol.com
Colly from Valencia, Ca, USA Thu Mar 22 11:22:39 CET 2001

I just turned 60 and have been addicted to benzodiazepines for 15 years now. I was put on Ativan 15 years ago for a esophagus problem and although it helped that, within two weeks, I was addicted. The Ativan made me so depressed, I was switched to Xanax and have been addicted to it now for 14 years. I take four 0.25 pills a day and they control my life, which has been a living hell. I've tried unsuccessfully to cut down several times. The side effects I have are of course the withdrawal symptoms, but the worst one is approximately 1 and a half hrs. after I take a pill, I begin to get inward tremors. If I try to ignore them, they get worse, then I begin to feel like I can't sit still, get impulsive, suicidal,and feel like I am about to have a convulsion or some kind of spell. I have never had a convulsion before, I can only imagine what it is like by the way I feel inside my head. I have to immediately eat something substantial, then the tremors and all the rest go away until about an hour and a half after I take the next pill. My doctor is not much help. He says he never heard of anyone having this side effect. This all started right after I began taking Xanax and I know it is caused by the pill. I hate it. It controls my life. I have to carry a bag of food with me whenever I go out because I know what is going to happen to me one and a half or 2 hrs after I take a pill. My doctor would like me to go on Prozac because he says it would make it easier to cut down on the Xanax. I refuse to do it because I can barely handle the side effects I have from the Xanax and I couldn't handle side effects from another medication should it have them. I feel so trapped. I don't know where to turn. Thanks for listening. Maybe someone else has this side effect. My doctor makes me feel like I am the only one of his patients who has any trouble with this "hell" pill. No one told me when I was put on this medication that it was addictive. I feel like a did something terrible by getting addicted and it was not my fault. How do you get off this stuff? I don't want to die being addicted. Thanks---Nancy
NPhil11941@aol.com
Nancy from Cincinnati, Ohio, USA Sun Mar 25 06:45:12 CEST 2001

anyone out there heard of tramadol hydrochloride
info@arlo.co.uk
arlo from bristol, england Tue Mar 20 01:06:00 CET 2001
ic24

My drs put me on Klonopin and Serzone together. I was had FMS, but since drs don't believe in FMS, they thought it was in my mind. These two drugs together, I am finding out as I am starting to try to handle my own life again should not be taken together. I lived in Iowa when the drs first put me on them and I asked them to please take me off, I felt like I was poisoning myself. The drs down here in Tennessee kept me on them even though I asked them to take me off. I lost my family over it, even though two of them ar in the medical profession (a paramedic and a LPN but they should have known and helped. The LPN just critisized). After seeing a family dr who said I should be taken off of them, I went back to my psych center to find I was going to see a fourth person in four times that I had been there (I was new to TN and just started this clinic). I walked out and went completely off the drugs myself. For awhile I felt alive like I haven't in eight yrs. Then I found myself in an ER room. I wasn't of sane mind to read and now that you just can't go off of Klonopin. I am now on a tapering dose. I cry all the time, I have hysteria, I go thru a lot of things and my husband still stays with me. Why are drs allowed to do this. I have two drs that wrote me off like it was my fault, when they were the ones prescribing it. (I am crying now) I have turned myself in to two hospitals for the mentally ill while on these drugs and they just thought I was very depressed, one asked if I had bipolar and they also asked my sister of who I rarely see since she lives in Wyoming, if I was an alcoholic. She told them yes. So now all this stuff is on my record. She screamed at me when I asked her to write them a letter to tell them I was not an alcoholic, and she is supposed to be a Christian, a very big supporter of her church. I am left with just my husband and my two daughters who have lives of their own. I had a family of nine, now I only talk to my dad. I am afraid I will never be normal again. Will I ever be able to not take Klonopin? That is my goal, but then what do I do with my life. It has been very hard for me to leave my house for eight years. Why aren't drs responsible for the problems they create? They just say you can no longer come here, we don't want you when they are the ones that created the problem. I didn't need these drugs, I have Fibromayalgia, not mental depression. I guess I could go on forever, since I just found this site, I feel like I have many friends out there after reading just a few of the letters. Thank you for this site, even though it is very scary to read.
Tenncats6@aol.com
Cindy Frantz from Oak Ridge, Tn, USA Fri Mar 16 14:24:20 CET 2001

A very informative site - I just have a quick question - does anyone have any experience of side-effects/withdrawal from Xanax on a relatively low dosage? I have been taking 0.25mg a day for about a year. Had no problem coming off cold turkey after a previous prolonged usage. It is confusing because the addict in me is telling me that if I'm not going to have the horrible withdrawal symptoms, then I can't be consuming enough to do me any damage in the first place, so why bother risking it and giving up? Having said that, I know I would be better off without it. Would welcome any support. Thank you
gecko99@one.net.au
Nic , australia Fri Mar 16 09:44:50 CET 2001

I found this board tonight, and really felt so bad as I read the posts. They were frightening, and I know exactly what the feelings are like that most of the people here have expressed. I have been so nervous for years. It started in High School with me. I just could not seem to talk to people anymore. I felt social anxiety. So I turned to drinking alchohol at times to help me face people. I know this was wrong, but it seemed to ease my nervousness. I was 19, when I had my first drink. Luckily I did not get hooked on alcohol. I continued to seek something for my nerves though, so in the early 80's the doctor gave me a prescription for valium. I took it, and loved the way I felt so at ease. Then from there I went to librax, to xanax, to librium, to ativan, to klonopin. I ran out of xanax one time and decided to go cold turkey. I was fine for about three days...maybe four, then I felt I was falling apart. I felt strange, like everyone was looking at me..my heart started pounding fast. I was so scared, and at work. One of my co-workers took me to the emergency room. It thought I was having a heart attack, but it was an anxiety attack. The doctors immediately put me back on xanax and told me never to just stop taking it. Then I decided to seek help and had a wonderful therapist. I will never forget him, never. I remember the first time I sat in his office, crying and his words to me. He said he had heard them so many times before, and knew what I was feeling. He assured me that this can happen to anyone, but the help he gave me was incredible. He sent me to a doctor, who in turn gave me enough pills to keep taking them as I weened off the drug. (NOTE...WEENED). I had to reduce the pills by 1/2 every two to three weeks...this took months. The therapist sent me to relaxation therapy, and I also under went hynopsis. I can't tell you how hard all this was, but it was made easier by a good therapist. I remember getting out and walking for hours....seemed like miles ...to help me fight the withdrawls. I will never forget waking up at night and the fears. I prayed, cried, and finally got rid of Xanax addiction with the help of my therapist. It can be done, but I think you have to have someone that is very experienced in these kind of cases to help you. Well, the sad part is that I am again on medication. This time I started on medicine, because of post partum Depression. I could not help it, I felt so depressed after the birth of my daughter. I loved her so much, but I was so happy when I was preganant. After the birth, I felt like scared, helpless. I talked to my doctors and they sent me for help, and I went on Prozac and Klonopin. I no longer take Prozac, but still take Klonopin. It has been 13 years now. I know I will have to face the withdrawl again, and I am scared, but I have decided to seek help and go for it again. Like most of the people here, I did not ask to get addicted to anything...these pills seem to ease the pain, but the pain going off is 1000 x worse. I hope that this does not scare anyone, I am trying to vent and hope that someone will read this and understand that you can seek help. I am going back to my old therapists..it may take years now to get off..but I know with the right therapist, it can be done. Staying off the drugs is hard too, but I hope that I can. All I can do is live one day at a time. My love to anyone that is undergoing some or all of the feelings associated with withdrawl. Just remember that you are not the only one. There are millions of us out here. I hope that my words will help someone...just remember you are not alone in your addiction.
wiffwuff@angelfire.com
anonymous from anonymous, n/a, USA Wed Mar 14 02:27:50 CET 2001

I agree with everyone here. These pills are poison. I love this site and I linked it to http://insomniafatigue.com/insomniia_meds.htm the site should help everyone here. Sincerely, Hope Tiktin
hopetohealth@aol.com
hope tiktin from forest hills, ny, USA Wed Mar 14 12:43:13 CET 2001
http://insomniafatigue.com

Hello, I've read ALL the stories on this very interesting site. I'm a specialist in benzodiazepines and I can tell you all that these 'medicines' you just MIGHT use not longer than two months. Then you MUST stop with it, because of problems during your WHOLE live!! I read a much about Klonopin and Xanax. This are in Holland not the firts choice benzo's, because they are very addictive and have a lot of nasty workings which you don't want to have. So everybody who NEVER has taken a benzo, dont EVER do that. You really can't stop with it. It's maybe a greater problem than real hard drugs. I can give advice to all people who want to stop the medicine. At firts, don't ever stop at once but slowly. Don't ever take another benzo to stop the first benzo. Don't take more than one benzo a day. There are a lot of alternatives of benzo's, such as speaking with your friends or physician. If you REALLY need a benzo, take the most effective dose, for example 15 mg chlorazepate a day, and don't ever change that dose. If you want to have a personal advice, you can mail me. I have got a lot of information about ALL benzo's, even the benzo's which are not in 'the shops'. So mail me and I will try to help you all. God Bless, Dejan den Hertog xs4all72@hotmail.com
xs4all72@hotmail.com
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Sat Mar 10 21:45:56 CET 2001

this is a great site. i have been taking klonopin for 2 yrs after severe reaction to antibiotic floxin altered my nervous system and ability to sleep. i would like to stop, but it is not so easy. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. also if any one knows a doctor who could help in the montreal area please let me know thanks
garyl@ramco.net
gary leibner from montreal, quebec, canada Mon Mar 5 22:38:39 CET 2001

I was placed on Benzodiazapines some 20 years back, never realizing what devastating effects this drug would have on my life. I have a long history of visiting one after the other psychiatric practise where always my depression, high anxiety and aggitation was put down to me suffering from depression and being labled as suffering from ADD, PD and a host of other diagnosis. The worse I felt, the more anti-anxiety and anti-depressant med's I was put onto. Trusting that the 'learned' profession knew it all, I unwittingly became a benzo addict, never realizing that all my symptoms were nothing but a body totally stressed out by the enormous strain placed onto my brain and senses by the ever increasing paradoxical effects of what I was feeding into my body and my brain. My social life became almost non existant during the years and the saddest part is that no doctor ever suggested that perhaps my pills were my problem! I cannot bring back almost 20 lost, lonely and wasted years while I desperately tried to understand why things I so much loved doing before became totally unimportant to me and I neglected anything and everything. I went from a productive, fun and energetic person who loved life into a reclusive, lethargic and totally miserable human being and always I blamed myself for what I thought was simply me, having been born that way and having to accept that this was simply who I was. When I did enough research on the effects of all the various Benzo's I had been fed, via prescription through the years, gradually the pieces of the puzzle of my life starting falling into place. I am totally committed to weaning myself off these soul destroying drugs and am into my second month of withdrawal. Its been tough going but even those precious few seconds occasionally where I start to see glimpses of myself BEFORE these medications radically altered my life, even that is enough to make me more determined than ever to still live to see the day when I can re-discover my old self back again. I am 44 years old now and though a large chunk of my life disappeared down a deep, dark hole through innocent trust on my behalf that the medical profession would 'heal'me and not harm me with their prescriptions - NEVER warning me of the dangers of the medications, I look forward to the day when I can stand tall and proud that I have beaten this 'monster' and that I can still enjoy the other half of my life still ahead of me. If anyone is going through a similar experience and would like to write and share, I would love to hear from you. Joanne femine_sa@hotmail.com
feminine_sa@hotmail.com
Joanne from Gauteng, South Africa Tue Mar 6 09:14:56 CET 2001

I thought I would post some of my web sites...yes I thought I might ...couldn't sleep tonight and these sites are not new to some here but check out the benzo debate one for new articles. Thx. The Heather Ashton Manual on How to Withdraw From Benzodiazepines http://members.dencity.com/ashtonpapers/manual.htm News and Articles on Benzodiazepine Issues http://www.geocities.com/benzodebate Link to All Known Benzo Related Web Site http://www.geocities.com/benzowebsites Benzobusters Site of Withdrawal Symptom Lists
rmb@intergate.ca
Rand from Vancouver, Canada Tue Mar 6 13:10:43 CET 2001

I am glad to have found this site. I have been in benzo hell since about 1988. I thought I was the only one going through this and when I found this site it was a relief to know others go through the same things that I do. My abuse of benzos became so out of hand that at one point, years back, I was taking up to 25 mgs. a day of either one that I could get a script for. I stopped that abuse but have been unable to come totally off of xanax. Now I take under the prescribed dose only. It is prescribed 4 mgs. a day but I only take 1 mg. during the day IF I need it and 1 mg. at night to sleep. My life was pure hell when I abused benzos and I totally cannot sleep without them. So, I understand where everyone is coming from. My advice is to NEVER start them in the first place! The doctors never tell you just how addictive they are.
blaze58us@yahoo.com
Lisa Johnson from Powderly, Tx, USA Wed Mar 7 07:08:36 CET 2001

Hello there. I have been withdrawing from Klonopin and Prozac for about 4 weeks now and have a myriad of intense concerns. One of the symptoms I have cannot be found anywhere and I wonder if ANYONE out there has any information on this: Since withdrawal, my appetite for food (mostly carbs- but anything really) has been ENORMOUS. Not just cravings- but true hunger 24 hours a day, every day. Needless to say, I have gained a great deal of weight and continue to do so. I am scared to death that this is permanent and cannot imagine why it is happening. I do everything I can to prevent the bingeing- but my hunger is so huge I cannot control it. I go through 10 packs of gum a day to keep my mouth occupied. If anyone has any input I wi
JStyle74@aol.com
Jennifer from Loveland, CO, USA Tue Feb 20 05:10:20 CET 2001

Oh..this site is cool. I have some good stuff for all of you. I went through my first withdrawl today. IT WAS BAD!!! I was prescribed Librium some 10 years ago because I could not sleep. I was 20 years old. Recently this turned out to be sleep apnea. Didn't like being on the drugs at the tinme but every time I would come off...had trouble sleeping etc. I was having what they called "panic attacts". Yeah, right. I was racing GSXR750s at 150mph at the time but I had panic disorders..OK..:0P Anyway..after 10 years..I am coming off I think everything is cool..This was the 20th day. I had read about hallucinations but today..Oh man...were talking hallucinate..like BIGTIME. Colors...you name it.. Very bad trip. I had to go and take 50 mg and I now realize that I am going to have to follow a strct protocol for coming off of these drugs. I was scarred! I couldn't control the hallucinations they were so intense. I experimented with drugs when I was in high school. I stopped when I was 17 (16-17) I did LSD like 5 times and they were minor doses and I remember they they were very synthetic highs. Not natural like mushrooms but very very dirty. This is the same high that I had when I was coming off of this drug...Chlordiazepoxide. Itwas exactly like an acid trip. I had one bad trip when I was younger because I had a bad batch and this is the exact same high that I had when I was going through a withdrawl. Intersting. Now I understand what bi-polar people are talking about when they are trying to talk about being separated from reality. Everyone that I have talked to in the last 3 hours sinve I came down..that has been diagnosed with bi-polar disease has a history of Librium in their tratment. They all tried to come off the drugs and started trippin'. They went to the doctor for treatment and were not informed they could possibly be suffering form a withdrawl from Librium. They were just given a major cocktail of more drugs and then kept under observation. Gee...Think this could lead to depression? PLease. What I experienced today was a high and a low...withdrawl..oh now I start to hallucinte..everything is bad..the LOW..then I come out of it...then I feel better..the high because I'm glad it's over...then I feel depression because I don't want to experience another withdrawl. I am not bragging when I say that I was an experienced drug user when I was younger..something that I am not proud of. I can use this because I know exactly what they were doing when they came up with this BEAST in the lab. People that have never taken LSD wouldn't know that they were having what was similar to an acid trip (this might be do to what happens with serotonin...don't know..have to do research) if someone tells them that they have this or that..they are going to believe it...they are trippin' just like they are on acid. Whoever created this drug was a slick #$%#%. What am I getting at? Chemical warfare. 50 million American's diagnosed with Mental illness and probasbly on medication. Last time I checked there were about 283 million in the US. That's about 1 in 5.5. THere is no way that these people that are addicted are going to be able to be of any use in a world conflict if they can't get their meds. If you think I am off on a tangent about this...take a look at drinking for instance. This is legal. YOu want help? Get on something that will rip your insides out like rat poison when you try to come off of it. Take a look at all of the people that are being presribed benzodiazapines..Prozac..etc. Then you have the real kicker. All of the children are being put on Ritalin. How in #$% does this stuff start infiltrating it's way into the school? This is not good folks. YOu might think that I am off on a tangent a little bit. I am a college grad..I've got it together etc etc etc..this is REAL. Simple scam. Try to get some help and you are put on a drug that is supposed to help you when actually it makes you a slave. I am sure that everyone here feels the chain that is around their neck. Librium...1938? A mind altering drug. When was LSD discovered? These guys are slick and the doctors have been following a protocol for treatment that is as old as shock treatment. You can get off of these drugs by yourself. YOu have to slice 'em up and ween yourself off...SLOWLY. God be with you all.
GSXR1327@yahoo.com
Rennard from Seattle, WA, USA Wed Feb 21 06:26:47 CET 2001

Please answer me ! I'm a 22 year old boy, English is my second language. I have take Paroxetine(Paxil) 20 mg a day for the last 2 years for pannic attack and anxiety. My problem is, I have retarded ejaculation and sometimes anorgasmia on Paxil. I'm 22 and I'm very tired of that sexual probleme. This week, I will stop paxil to go for Buspar 30 mg a day in 2 dose of 15 mg in the morning and in the night. My doctor also give me Alprazolam(Xanax) 1 mg for 2 weeks to facilite the transfert. If Buspar doesn't work I will try Trazofone (Desyrel)alone. If someones can give me somes tips or opinion on that, please write me.
Jessyja@hotmail.com
Jessy J. from Montréal, Canada Wed Feb 21 09:05:04 CET 2001

I pray for everyone that is going through benzodiazapine withdrawl. It is a living hell. I hope I can shed a little light on why it is so hard to come off. These drugs increase serotonin. They raise 5HT and lower 5HIAA. I wouldnt have realized this until I was coming off of these things and realized I was having what is known as a trip. LSD mimics 5HT. It is impossible for a person to come off of these drugs cold turkey. It is equivalent to taking acid. I would of never made the connection until I was starting to have a trip and realized that my withdrawal had LSD written all over it. This is why it is so hard to come off. You are living your dream. These are some very slick and very sick people that did the marketing with these drugs. I have been decreasing my dosage for over 1 month and I cannot leave the house because it is equivalent to having a bad trip on acid for 32 days. I hope that everyone that comes to this page looks at the relationship between increased serotonin levels and LSD. Please Post!
GSXR1327@yahoo.com
Rennard from Seattle, WA, USA Fri Feb 23 01:25:18 CET 2001

the page i just read is me!valium was prescribed to me 28 years ago.i live in hell every day of my life because of the addiction.when it was given to me i was never told that it was addicting.it was handed out like candy!now i can't live a normal life without it.neither can i get off it.i panic when i think that i may not be able to get it.i'm 61 years old and still live in fear of returning panic attacks.valium controlls them but i still do not want to take it. each day i take one in the morning and one at night.if any doctor can help me get off valium,i beg you to please do it.i have never used any other drug except heart and blood pressure meds.with this medicine,i am tired all the time and at my age,i need whatever energy i can get.when i first staryed taking valium it was for the onset of panic attacks.i learned to control them with professional help but by then it was too late, i was hooked.back then they didn't recognize panic disorder.they just said i was mentally disturbed.i knew they were wrong but i couldn't convince the doctors.i played bnaseball took my kids fishing,and worked a fulltime job.i had a normal life one morning i woke up and had the worst thing happen to me that any person could experience. i had a panic attack!my whole life was turned into a living hell.i went through the whole list from agorophobia to thinking i was going to die. it lasted for years even with valium.ive tried everything to get off them but when i do the attacks return.so please, if any doctor can help me please do.i have no money but i do have tenn. care.please give me my life back for what time i have left.i want to be drug free when i die. i have heart,artery and bloodpressure disease.however i still am very active.as much as a person can be when on valium.thank you for listening. i had no one else to talk to that understands. norma marek 150 threet rd. crawford,tenn.38554 phone 931-445-3067.......again,thank you and god bless all who are going through this awful addiction.
msblue238554@yahoo.com
norma marek from crawford, tn, USA Mon Feb 26 22:14:14 CET 2001

Hi, I read your posting and thought possibly, you could help me. After a "broken" engagement, I went into a bad depression. I was given Zoloft, finally reaching 150 mg. It's been a yr.
pge55@aol.com
Bree from Atlanta, Ga, USA Sun Feb 18 00:18:46 CET 2001

Last time I posted I was taking Valium.Doctor Gave me ativan(2-1/2 mg a day) to get off valium. Off valium now on ativan.Where does it stop?
hrtnfmly@aol.com
Grant H from san antonio, tx, USA Mon Feb 12 01:49:39 CET 2001

hi, i have read alot of your postings,and it seems that the ones that r writing about panic disorders and anxiety are not happy with the wa their lives r now. i have been taking ativan for going on 5 years.i have had no real sideeffects to speak of. i started on 1 mg. per day and that is what i am taking now. believe me my life before ws pure hell!!! not being able to leave the house, soon my "safe zone " felt no longer safe. until i began the ativan. i haven't heard any of u speak as to why we have panic attacks. our minds create them and as soon as u learn that you r in control of your panic attacks the better off you will be. you can turn them off as quickly as you turn them on. i bought some self help tapes put out by lucinda basset they were awesom. i am happy with my 1 mg. of ativan and if i have to take them for the rest of my life to live a productive life then so be it. i figure as long as the dosage is not being increased and there are no visible sideeffects i am better off. good luck to all of you . and please look for lucinda basset tapes around 300.00 but worth every penny. 1 last thing if you know someone w/ panic disorder or anxiety be patient.
carlson1965@msn.com
RITA from ANNONYNOUS, az, USA Mon Feb 12 05:23:01 CET 2001
CARLSON1965@MSN.COM

I was diagnosed with panic disorder and generalized anxiety. I have tried several anti-depressants and have been on ativan for 5 months now. I started at 2mg. per day but am now up to 3 or 4mg per day. I realize it is taking more and more to get the same effects. When I try to cut back I get severe headaches, depression, muscle and stomach cramps. I cannot remember things nor am I able to concentrate. If there is anyone who can advise me how to get off this drug and what to expect, I would greatly appreciate it. Things are worse since I've been on it. Of course it helped at first with the panic attacks but now I am having so many side-effects from the medicine that I can hardly take it. I want off this drug regardless if the panic comes back. I had rather face it head on than to live like this.
mrandmrsmud@mindspring.com
Sharli , al., USA Sun Feb 11 01:20:30 CET 2001

I have been on nurontin for 3 months..the side affects of the drug are horrible nightmares and daydreams all daylong..they have drivin me to the point of atempted suicide...I want to know if anyone else has had these side affects and what they did about them...I can't go off the drug because the pain comes right back..I'm 16..female from Canada...can you plz write me back..thank you
quonza@hotmail.com
mackenzie from Langley, British columbia, Canada Thu Feb 8 23:14:23 CET 2001

I have panic attacks, social anxiety and anxiety. The minimal doctors I've been to tell me its a chemical imbalance, but what's causing the imbalance? The only thing I find that helps me is valium, the doctors stooped prescribing it to me, and ive been on it for 5 months, four 10mg valiums per day. Should I keep taking it? it's been the only time in my life that i feel normal and good is when I'm taking valium.I have tried other medications like paxil and buspar, with no real good out come. I'm 21 and need to find a way to maintain at least an average life.I've been off valium for almost a month now and all the symptoms returned. Signed, Marc
oldeenglishice@aol.com
Marc , USA Thu Feb 1 12:54:04 CET 2001

I was very pleased to see that the problem of benzo addiction is paid such an attention! But to the matter: I 've got a great interest in benzo addiction history: when it started when appeared these all drugs who was first recreational user and so on. To the date I gathered some information but not the quantity I am satisfied with! Please If you have any information about subject let me know. The results will be presented in the net.
duke_paul@mail.ru
Paul , Russia Thu Feb 1 20:01:42 CET 2001

Hi. I am a regular visitor of this site. Sometimes, people post messages and say they would like to receive support and emails from other visitors. Well, I have taken some of my time to send notes etc and it would be nice if I would hear a "thank you" at least. I was told by another visitor, (J) that this sort of thing has happened to her as well.I am not wasting any more time writing emails only to have them fly up in the middle of nowhere. To those who have acknowledged, thank you.
angelfire-2000@angelfire.com
Louise from Toronto, Canada Fri Feb 2 17:45:12 CET 2001

i am a recovered benzo addict i dont really know what to say to you all i thaught there was no coming back it all started when i was 17 and i lost a close friend of mine. well later that month i started taking temazipam just made me feel ok for a while later that year i was begining to get in trouble with the law through trying to get money for temazipam i was then taken to see a psichiatrist becouse of my addiction well at the time i was down as far as i thaught i could ever go my whole familly new by now but didnt understand they just new i was depressed well my life kept going the same way i was down there and i thaught thats where i have to stay in december 98 i ended up in prison from a minor charge but as i had been in court so much for minor offences my days where numbered i went to prison they gave me 6 months i did 2 well i was in prison with a 100ml of diazipam or temazipam habit i started getting fits and i was under 24 hr observation on healthcare i started getting unbelieveable panic attacks paranoia depression withdrawal and i started becoming violent but i was in the right place as if i was on the propper wing i would have been left to rott basically but i was lucky all the guards where all trained nurses who showed compasion and care treeted us as humans and not a number well i had a lot of time to feel sorry for myself and feel ashamed of myself when i talked to my mother she was heart broken which absolutelly tore me apart but for the 1st time since my friend died i was under the comand of elsers it was allmost like school i was made to follow a routine of fitness and eating right and i bega to somehow feel like the person i was before the vallium i felt stable confident and in controll in prison we had computer lessons just basic and i discovered the internet it was like being outside of the prison all of a sudden infact i was anywhere i wanted to be cos i was chatting with peaple from all over the worldwell i have been out of prison for just over 2 years and i am in colledge now doing basic programing and i love it i have a new life now only 2 years ago i was in prison absolutelly under the control of the benzos i have scars but its allmost like it never happend just 2 years later i will also add that i had to leave every person i thaught was my friend behind and established new friends friends who want better things friends who take every opprtunity they can to get on in life and wanted me to do the same anyway i would just like to finish by saying anything your addiction dragged you down to you can forgive yerself and move on just leave the past behind where it belongs. sorry if this posting was a bit off the tracks but i just wanted to push forward the fact that you can pull out of it you can.
tweston@btinternet.com
ian weston from cardiff, uk Sat Feb 3 02:36:34 CET 2001

Hi there This is an opportunity for any benzo' users, committed to withdrawal who live either in West London or the Bath area. I practise shiatsu and in conjunction with a homeopathic practitioner, am setting up a trial alternative health care solution project to deal with the side affects resulting from long term benzo usage. We need a commitment over a two-three month period and if you belong to a benzo self help group, in either of those areas, so much the better. We are willing to see people who live farther afield as long as they can get the clinical location and commit to the project. There will be no charge for this service. This project is due to start at the beginning of April. If interested, please email me and I can provide further details. Personally I have been working in this field for many months and have witnessed many tangible positive outcomes as a result of shiatsu treatments. It will be exciting to discover the impact of shiatsu therapy combined with homeopathy. We suspect that the combination will be extremely beneficial and powerful but need your collaboration to prove it! Many thanks Cathy Dixon dixon@tcsr.co.uk
dixon@tcsr.co.uk
cathy dixon from London, UK Thu Jan 25 18:32:15 CET 2001

Hello, Would you please tell me if I can reach someone who speaks french. I am taking rivotril,(clonazepam) for l5 years know and no doctor will help me. Please write to me if you speak french.
enaid36@yahoo.fr
Diane Laporte , USA Mon Jan 22 20:54:49 CET 2001

I have been withdrawing from prescribed drugs for the last 12 years. I was put on them for panic attacks, but was incorrectly diagnosed. I find that it was actually from allergies which were not allowing my intestional tract to absorb the nutrients it needed to keep my body in a balanced state. I have been on prozac, lorazapam, buspar, paxil and valium. I have taken myself off of each of them without the help of doctors. I was told that I needed to get off of the valium, but no one was willing to assist me. I have do it with the help of God and a determination that I did not know I posessed. I dropped the last of the Valium on the 16th of June 2000. I am still in withdrawal but I have researched the natural herbs available and used them to benefit myself in the process. I currently am taking two supplements available at the health co-op, both of them approved of by 2 naturopathic physicians and an allergist. If I can help you to stay off of the Valium let me know and I will walk you through the process that I followed. It is not easy, but I have not taken any prescriptions to help me withdraw, only the herbs. Karen S. sns@telcomplus.net
sns@telcomplus.net
Karen S. , USA Sat Jan 20 17:37:55 CET 2001

I NEED TO GET SOME FEEDBACK ASAP. MY HUSBAND IS ON A METHODONE PROGRAM. THE PROBLEM IS THAT HE IS NOW TAKING KLONOPIN,(IN WHICH HE CLAIMS THE PROGRAM WILL OBJECT TO), HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICATION AS WELL. HE HAS GAINED QUITE A BIT OF WEIGHT OVER THE YEARS, THAT I AM SO SCARED AND CONFUSED AS TO WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE REHABILITATION. HE GETS SO OBJECTABLE WHEN I TRY TO HELP, QUESTION OR MAKE SUGGESTIONS. HE THINKS I GOIING TO SAY SOMETHING THAT MAY GET HIM IN TROUBLE OR SOMETHING WHEN IT COMES TO THE PROGRAM. HE HAS BEEN HARD TO DEAL WITH WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING THESE DECISIONS. IT HURTS ME SO BAD TO SEE HOW MUCH THESE STUPID DRUGS HAVE DONE TO MY FAMILY AND OTHERS. IT'S BEEN MANY YEARS AND MUCH HAS HAPPENED THAT I DON'T THINK HE BELEIVES IT'S POSSIBLE TO DO IT. EVERYBODY I KNOW DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I'VE PUT UP WITH ALL THIS. THE MISERY HE'S IN TRULY SHOWS WITH HIS BEHAVIOR
of the nest @aol.com
, ny, USA Thu Jan 18 07:51:25 CET 2001

I was addicted to Valium and Xanax for two years. In February, 2001 I'll have been clean for one year. I was so horrified by my growing addiction that I went "cold turkey" off these pills. The experience was terrible. I hallucinated, shook, was in terrible pain, and ground my teeth until my mouth filled with blood. Thank God, a dear friend got me to the hospital where I was "tapered" off. The experience is worse than the worst nightmare but it is WORTH IT! It CAN be done. I read these postings and want to cry because I know just how awful this addiction and withdrawl is. I would share my story with those who wish to hear it. I wish each of you the best of luck. Please hang in there. Please keep trying. As wretched as the withdrawl is, it DOES end. If you stay on the meds the cycle never ends.
gordonelliott602@hotmail.com
anonymous , USA Tue Jan 16 22:54:14 CET 2001

i wish u would have printed what i said,i was a acholic4yrs,adding 3mg of zanax i got help heavy doses of librium and taperd down everyday,for the achol a new drug called revera i had to kick both at 1 time i did it i am on 1500depekote,100desyrel 100zoloft and yes back on 4 mg of zanax i dont abuse my zanax because ive been there but sooner or later my doc w/me off i never ask for a increase,because im very well known to both sides,hopefully u will print this because i have been on both sides of benzes please any one who w/ like to talk to me feel free yur not alone ive been sober for 2.5yrs im 34,i hope u will print this ron.
luzerhwbtme@aol.com
ron , USA Thu Jan 4 06:25:57 CET 2001

Hi this is sue I have 8-9 days before I go back into detox and I'm getting a little nervous. I know what to expect but it doesn't help it still is a bad experience to go throught.
suzyd70@hotmail.com
sue from Montreal, Que, Canada Tue Jan 2 01:45:33 CET 2001

wow what a web site,well im bipolar
luzerhwbtme@aol.com
ron , mi, USA Tue Jan 2 07:20:16 CET 2001

I am a 47 year old single male with a 15 year old daughter, and I especially wanted to thank everyone for this website. Thank you ahd things can get better!
peteh@home.com
Pete Harrison from Tacoma, wa., USA Mon Dec 25 23:07:34 CET 2000

I have just been diagnosed with Spasmotic Torticollis,which is involuntary movements in my head and neck area, which is a brain disorder. My neurologist prescibed Klonopin in 0.5 twice a day to relax the muscle area that tightens and twists. I was shocked to see this medicine is prescibed to seizure patients, as well as for anxiety treatment. Also, reading all of the comments on this bb scares me to death that I'll become an addict. I haven't taken it yet, and I don't know if I will or not. If anyone has been diagnosed with ST like me, and has experiences to share with the Klonopin, please e-mail me.Or what other success you've had controlling you ST besides drug therapy would be great! Thanks, Susan
noonybow@earthlink.net
Susan , CO, USA Wed Dec 27 00:48:39 CET 2000

thank you for letting me know i'm not alone . i am a recovering alcholic ; it's been 7 years . i was in peru and started drinking . i worried about the hang over so i bought diazapam 10mgs . i took 20mgs to 40mgs a day for 2.5 months . i'm in my 3rd week of withdrawls having seen a doctor who prescribed me ativan and restoril . the ativan was for the last ten days and now he just has me on restoril . my last pill is tonight and a follow up on thursday . i'm really nervous that the the withdrawls will return in full force once i get past two days drug free .
cplum18623@aol.com
chris from los angeles, ca, USA Sun Dec 24 04:35:22 CET 2000
http://www.aol.com

WOW I FOUND THIS SITE BY ACCIDENT, IT IS A BLESSING I AM CLEAN FROM XANAX FOR 6 MONTHS NOW BUT ALL THESE STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN, SO MUCH ANXIETY, TEARS, FEARS AND SOMETIMES ABSOULUTE TERROR, I WANT TO STAY CLEAN BUT IT IS HARD DOING IT ALL ALONE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE AND TO THINK THERE IS A WHOLE WORLD OF PEOPLE GOING THRU THE SAME MISERABLE ADDICTION, I FEEL RELEAVED. LOVE KJL
KJL@aol.com
KIMBERLIE LEMAIRE from fort lauderdale, fl, USA Mon Dec 18 05:40:34 CET 2000

Hi there! In addittion to my http://www.benzo.org.uk I have started a discussion forum / ideas factory at: http://www.egroups.com/group/BenzoUK primarily for people in the UK (although others are welcome!) whose lives have been affected by their involuntary addiction to benzodiazepine tranquillisers. Topics for discussion include education and information, raising public awareness, securing financial support for withdrawal groups on the ground, lobbying Government, medical and pharmaceutical agencies and seeking compensation for those whose lives have been damaged by these drugs. I am also working on a companion web site at: http://www.geocities.com/benzoworld/ Some Aims
admin@benzo.org.uk
Ray Nimmo from North Lincolnshire, UK Mon Dec 18 22:44:42 CET 2000
http://www.benzo.org.uk

Hi this is Sue again, well I had my appointment with Detox yesterday and they said they would take the begining of Jan. Have to admit Im not thrilled about detox again then Rehab, guess I got to go throught it to save my self. Saw my Shrink today gave me a script for rivotril,xanax till I get to detox, she seems to be an understanding person. Well i'll keep in touch Please send some advice. SUE
cazic@hotmail.net
sue from montreal, que, canada Fri Dec 15 23:52:57 CET 2000

This is a question rather than a comment. I have been taking ativan 2mg for 6 months. Somewhere i learned that quiting ativan cold turkey wouldn't cause the withdrawl symptoms to be shorter and may make them longer. Is this true?
onnaphish@aol.com
Keith McCloud from Prattville, al, USA Sat Dec 16 03:30:15 CET 2000

Im a twenty eight year old mother of five,Three months ago I went to a new Dr. for a check up he then thought because of stress I should try klonopin to help calm me down HA ha ha .I have never felt so awful in my life this same dr. is now acting as if Ive just all of a sudden lost my mind more or less.I have anxiety attacks that are so bad i quit my job can not stand to go to a store or school event with my children I asked him last week after he wanted to start me on more meds if the meds could in fact be the problem ,im a very small built girl and im very sensitive to pills He said no way this not from the meds see i have never had a panic attack in my life till now .Im so happy I got on my computer early one morning and found the imfo thats leading me back to my self again 3mo of klonopin with the last week of that on adivan because my dr. said so 0.5g twice a day tomaroww i go to one a day for three days then stop, im a little worried i feel so strange i could deal with it better if it wasnt for the anxiety attacks and strange feeling in my head how long is this going to take its not fair I just did what the dr said or shall i say ex dr i wasnt looking for a drug hookup Im so angry ....
johnnynbec@hotmail.com
rebecca from evansville, in, USA Sun Dec 17 00:02:30 CET 2000

I am deeply appalled by the tone in Kevin Burke's posting. This man should do his homework before pigeon -hole us all in the same mold of other addicts, who " abuse" benzos and don't take responsibilities. In MOST of our cases, we have taken the responsiblity to come off these highly addictive drugs ( and that's been documented over and over again) with for many devastating pain and horror. " the truth is that none of us really knows the true addictive nature of these drugs" Well my dear Kevin, I can get you some names of people that unfortunately DO know the true nature of these drugs, myself included. If you could have spend 5 minutes in my body while in the throws of one of the most difficult withdrawals, you will never question the addictiveness of benzos again. The responsibility lies with the physician to warn his patients of the addictive nature of these drugs before prescribing and certainly not to keep on prescribing year after year. Klonopin never" HIT " me either ( or with a woosh of serenity)nor did I abuse these meds. I did, as all of us on our supportgroup, what the doc had ordered, and followed religiously the written prescription. My responsibility was laying, if you will, in doing my own research into these drugs, so I could have made an intelligent and informed decision to take them or not. benzos DO loose in the long run their effectiveness for people with anxiety disorders ( also documented) and find themselves either taking more to combat the breaktthru anxiety or switching to other benzos or an SSRI. I never had an other addiction re alcohol and still don't and neither did all of the other benzo sufferers, so do not say MOST, since that is a complete idiotic statement. This is by the way addict-counsellors language, you are sure you are not one of them?? Most of these addiction specialists, if not all, do not know benzo addiction and its torturous withdrawal, and lump us very sadly indeed in streetdrug addiction, a place where accidentally addicted benzo sufferers do NOT belong. If the drug works for you without problems, consider yourself lucky, many if not most are not so lucky. Nobody is withholding these drugs from others, anxiety disorders and sitting in morbid fear in your livingroom afraid to get out is torture on its own. been there, done that, and if a benzo can give you your life back, great!! For many, what promised to be the answer to their fears, became an added nightmare some years later, something they did not bargained for. Subtle changes had taken place, like a change in personality, dampened emotions, daily headaches, short fuses etc, some did the rounds of doctors in search why they felt so lousy, never thinking it could be their pills. Some experienced a worsening of their anxieties, for which more prescriptions followed. Some were told to take a short break from their daily intake of pills, some sort of a holiday,and fell in a deep dark hole. ( Some holiday that was) So before you label and rake us over the same comb, have some consideration and compassion for the sufferers here who need support. because it did wonders for you, it doesn't mean we are all in the minority with our " abusing" and irresponsibilities. Please be more careful with what you are saying, it might just be the catalyst that throws the benzo sufferer in the midst of this traumatic withdrawal, over the edge. And then I hold you responsible. madelon
jalbulet@direct.ca
madelon albulet from Vancouver, bc, canada Tue Dec 12 11:59:05 CET 2000

I have been taking 5 to 7.2 mg a day diazepam for about 4 months for anxiety. Ready to start the so called taper off. I have a doctors app. in 2 days. I know I want to get off this drug as soon as possiable.Any ideas would be welcome. Thanks . Grant H
Hrtnfmly@aol.com
Grant H from san antonio, tx, USA Sun Dec 10 14:31:04 CET 2000

I spent 8 of the most horrible years of my life addicted to Xanax, Klonopin and Valium. I was first given Xanax .25mgs for panic attacks in 1992 by the end of 1994 I was taken 4mgs a day. My doctor would just increase my dosage every time I would complain of the side effects. I was also taken Paxil, Prozac, and Zoloft in extremely High doses. I even was given 12 ECT treatments (electric shock. My doctor orginally said I would be on meds for approx. 3yrs at the end of the 3yrs I confronted him and he said some patients require longer treatment. I left him for another Dr who took me off everything and replaced it with 2mgs of Klonopin, 10mgs Valium, and 225mgs of Effexor. I was nothing more than a walking zombie on different meds. after 2yrs with him I said I wanted to come off everything It was ruining my life!! He refused to take me off so I just started to ween myself off my meds. When I finally ran out I went thru the most horrible withdraws!!! I spent 2weeks in the hospital on Morphine to handle the pain. I finally told myself that my problems were really not that difficult to over come on my own. During my time of chemicals prescrbed by a doctor I spent a total of 4months in the hospital and 3yrs on leave of absense from work. I lost my job and have finally been working now again for 16months. These meds are the down fall of our society. They do nothing but give you a false sense of security and ruin your personal and professional lives!! I can't believe our government approves meds like this for doctors who aren't really concerned with their patients quality of life as much as they are about their fees. I am so glad I'm finally drug free and living my life the way I should...I'm very happy and secure. I just wish I had those 8yrs back! I never thought I would become a drug addict in my life since I have never taken a street drug!!! Please if you reading this STOP TAKIN THESE DRUGS!!!! I wish someone had warned me of the danger. Good luck!!
GradMBA@aol.com
Rider Nicholson from Dallas , tx, USA Sun Dec 10 09:35:03 CET 2000

I am shiatsu student practitioner in my final term and for the past eight months have been working with a unit in London that cares for people affected by benzodiazepine usage. My clients have given me very encouraging feedback about how Shiatsu has helped them in their twithdrawal programme. Shiatsu has helped alleviate some of the symptoms of withdrawal and in addition has facilitated sleep built up self esteem, self confidence, promoted calmness etc. Based on these exciting results I have decided to team up with a quailified homeopath to look at a combined protocol that offers relief and a way out and through this terrible addiction. I would be incredibly grateful for any useful ideas or suggestions about how to go about setting this up project All the best Cathy Dixon
dixon@tcsr.co.uk
cathy Dixon from London, UK Mon Dec 4 14:53:20 CET 2000

I"M THIRTY YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN ON BENZOS FOR ALMOST 14 YEARS. SERAX .25 RIVOTRIL .25 AND 2MG VALIUM 5MG ANYWAY YOU GET THE POINT THE WORKS. LAST SUMMER I WENT FOR HELP TO WEEKS IN DETOX AND ANOTHER COUPLE IN REHAB. WHEN I GOT OUT I STAYED CLEAN FOR ABOUT 4 WEEKS BUT THOSE PILLS ARE A POWERFUL THING. IHAVE BEEN VERY DEPREESED BUT I AM IN THE PROCCES OF GETTING HELP AGAIN. I FEEL THAT WHEN I DONT HAVE MY PILLS I HAVE NO CONTROL. SOMETIMES SUICIDE FEELS LIKE AN OPION BUT AT LEAST I HAVE PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT ME. PLEASE IS THERE ANYONE THAT FEELS LIKE I DO?
cazic@hotmail.com
susan from montreal, que, canada Fri Dec 8 02:20:20 CET 2000

WoW ! I don't know how I really found this site , but I've read every single post ! lol.......I'll make it short as possible. 16 years ago (1/85) I had the 1st of 3 heart attacks. Was put on xanax. told I had 1-5 years to live. Couldn't have bypass Bla Bla Bla.....after 2
bipsplace@hotmail.com
Bip Craig from Houston, Tx, USA Thu Dec 7 17:37:45 CET 2000

I have read a lot of the information that has been posted on this particular web site. Unfortunately, the majority of postings seem to be excessively ANTI-benzodiazepines. Some people seem to view all benzodiazepines as being harmless drugs while others view them as more addictive than heroin. I am a 40-year old male. I have used (intermittently)benzodiazepines for treatment of both Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was 17 years old. I have started using and stopped using these drugs several times. The truth is that none of us really knows the true addictive nature of benzodiazepines. Certainly, some are more reinforcing to use than others. Personally, I have had problems using shorter-acting and/or very potent benzodiazepine drugs (Xanax, Ativan, and to some extent Valium which is not short-acting but rapidly absorbed). However, I cannot and will not deny the fact that there have been times that the benzodiazepines have been extremely helpful to me. In particular, three benzodiazepine drugs that I have been prescribed have been incredibly useful (I am talking the difference between having a life and sitting on the couch in complete fear of leaving my house). The three drugs are Librium (chlordiazepoxide), Paxipam (halazepam), and Doral (quazepam). These three drugs do not "hit" you - - that is to say that you don't suddenly feel a "whoosh" of serenity. Rather, they have worked well. I have taken these medications for periods exceeding one year, and have discontinued them WITHOUT TAPERING with NO withdrawal symptoms. I feel that the press and several organizations have definately portrayed benzodiazepines as very addictive (therefore negative) substances and have tried to say that excessive anxiety means "deal with the root". Well, after about 100 years in therapy, some of us (myself included)want to get on with life - function well, go to work, support a household. I need to add that it is my strong belief (backed by several clinical studies) that benzodiazepine drugs DO NOT lose their effectiveness in treatment of anxiety when taken for prolonged periods. There is a small, but very vocal, minority of people who are prescribed these medications and cannot help but increase the dose or frequency of dosing. Most of these people have addictions to other substances, especially alcohol. But condemnation of benzodiazepines, and withholding these medications from persons who can clearly derive benefit from them, would be cruel. I always followed the prescription bottle instructions. I know some people who have said "well 2 will make me feel better than one" ... don't blame the substance, put the responsibilityh where it truly lies: on the person who is abusing his or her medication. These people should NOT be prescribed benzodiazepines. But, these people are also the MINORITY (studies indicate that we are talking less than 2% of persons receving prescriptions for benzodiazepine compounds.) So, don't blame the drug for everything...most of the time, if these "addicted" people had followed the directions that they were given by their doctor, there would be no "abuse" of benzos. Again, some people are just addicts: any drug that alters their emotions will abuse any drug.
BurkeKevinJ2@aol.com
Kevin Butkr from Boston, MA, USA Sun Dec 3 00:02:07 CET 2000

Hi, It sounds like many of you have been given these meds for panick attacks and anxiety disorders as opposed to Bipolar Disorder. I also have ran the gamet on meds over the last year and a half since my diagnoses. One of the differences for me was that my son was diagnosed with Bipolar a year before I and I had the priviledge of seeing his reactions to most of the medications. He cycled fast and was on tons. I am currently taking Ativan to help me sleep at night and at 1mg. I believe that though there is a site like this with many 'horrer' stories, you are a small percentage of the whole picture. I blame the ill-equipt doctors who are supposed to be trained in the distribution and potentially hazardous side effects that come with long term use of these drugs. Not only that, but we all know that not all meds work the same for everyone. I hope I am not coming across snotty but I am on four meds for bipolar and so incredibly happy I now have the answere to my rages, migranes, depression and anxiety. I can now be the mom to my kids they deserve. Please visit my site if you ever want to know the side effect of ANY medication...I have a link specifically for that...and tons of resources. Also, I have just read that Melatonin can help insomnia along with other herbal remedies. Do a search online and check it out. Thanks for your time. (http://www.geocities.com/advocate4child) Lee
robinlee70@yahoo.com
Lee Lovell from Long Beach, CA, USA Tue Oct 31 04:30:42 CET 2000
http://www.geocities.com/advocate4child

HiEveryone, I have just started a site at www.benzohelp.homestead.com for those that are addicted to benzodiazepines. This is a Canadian site with a Canadian perspective. This site not only helps one during benzo withdrawl but offers information and support on handling anxiety. One of the main objectives of this site is to lobby the Canadian Pharmaceutical companies to help create benzo withdrawl clinics but a lot more is offered. Please visit my site. Although it is still under construction watch for new info and resources. Thanks hooked2
hooked2@homestead.com
hooked2 from Oshawa, ON, Canada Fri Nov 17 03:23:06 CET 2000
http://www.benzohelp.homestead.com/

Hello, I'm Dejan from Holland, so exuse me for my bad English. I've read the whole side and there are two medicines which almost always come back in a story: Xanax and Klonopin. The two are the most AGRESSIVE benzo's with extended. So I really don't understand why doctors in the USA prescribe them so much. Here in Holland Klonopin is just used by people who have epilepsy. Xanax in Holland is just used when you're in a hospital. So I think the 'rules' of benzodiazepine-perscription should be more strong in USA. Of course when you are a panick patient you need medicine. But why Xanax or Klonopin. You'd better use, in those cases, for example a SSRI, BUSPAR or another benzo, for example Chlorezapete, Bromazepam or Prazepam..... God Bless, Dejan den Hertog
den_hertog_dejan@hotmail.com
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Sun Nov 19 19:52:02 CET 2000

I am happy to have found this site for I have been addicted to Xanax for 12 yrs. I try to wean myself off then I am up again. I would really like to know if there are any support groups on the web for this specific addiction (benzodiazepines) and I would like to hear from people my age (51) who are having similiar problems. It was originally prescribed for an anxiety disorder and has now become the problem. Thank you all for listening and I can really sympathize with what all of you are going through.
codicatt50@juno.com
Christy Gissel from Binghamton, NY, USA Sun Nov 19 20:15:49 CET 2000

I've been off of benzo's for about 18 months now...and would recommend to anyone who has just begun to take them to get off immediately...the last five years of my life have been an absolute nightmare...I first began taking xanax to relieve numbness in my hands and legs...I also drank on them...which started a downward spiral that I am luck to have survived...in the end I took 10 mg's of xanax a day and had even begun injecting dilaudid in my despair...my life now is still very hard and noone seems to really understand how badly these drugs disrupt your body spiritually and physically...good luck to you all...my best advice to those who suffer is don't be afraid to ask for help from others...and try to find a natural route to relieve the symptoms that the drug medicate but don't remove permanently from your life...god bless
charlie m , USA Mon Nov 20 09:56:18 CET 2000

Hello Friends. I have returned to tell you I am now successfully off benzos after seven years - and I feel absolutely wonderful! You will find my original posting here at March 30, 2000. I didn't think I would ever be able to live without benzos - or feel so great! I am very lucky to have both an MD and a psychiatrist who encouraged and allowed an unusually slow taper off the drug and I am here to say it was relatively painless. I tapered from late March through August, staying at a lowered dose for four to six weeks before minimally decreasing the dose again. This protocol gave me the opportunity to become secure at each level and notice improvements in my sense of well being before facing the anxiety of another decrease. I wasn't sure I could do each little drop but I did. I suffered minimal withdrawal - yes an achy day or two or three, occasional flu-like symptoms, a blue, depressed day or three, only a few nights of reduced sleep and only a few bouts of anxiety which I managed with herbs (see post). I usually noticed a bad day about day ten or fouteen. At three weeks after minimally reducing a dose I would begin to feel noticeably stronger mentally, physically, emotionally. At about four to six weeks I would feel more like myself again than I had in years and motivated and hopeful enough to volunteer to drop the dose again. At the end I was down to one quarter of a .5 mg Ativan at night only - for thirty days (ya gotta cut 'em with single edged razor blades). That is how slow a taper we are talking here. My physicians discussed each drop and let me have a great deal of control over the taper as long as I kept consistantly dropping the dose. This very slow taper did not interfere with my ability to work or function. At three months benzo free, I have no remaining anxiety, depression or effects that others here who tapered more quickly speak of. I also remained in counseling, took 100 mg of B vitamins, a good multiple vitamin and good quality flax seed oil capsules for nutritional support. Interestingly, other health problems that had developed, especially hormonally (48 / female), and chronic bronchitis (yep, a smoker) dramatically improved as well. I feel very, very lucky to have a respected psychiatrist who believes brain chemistry must be altered very, very slowly so as to avoid biochemical shock to the brain and a similarly supportive MD - slow changes are lasting changes. Also these physicians had a healthy respect for the powerful effects of apparently little pills. I now feel so well I cannot believe I ever took those darn drugs yet I choose to move forward without bitterness. I also now choose to cope honestly with the pains and dilemnas in my life rather than resort to numbness. To try this yourself, you need to know nothing more than I have told you here except perhaps for prayer. I believe my mighty and good God supplied this gentle way out of dependence to wholeness and health for me. I pray this post gives you hope ...and a new way of approaching giving up these drugs. Print it for your doc. Oh, and... I R not Mad anymore. Irm
Irm (short for IRMad) , USA Tue Nov 28 11:23:28 CET 2000

--a little over six weeks have gone by since I signed the guestbook. What I want to say is that I feel a bit better now than I did. I just re-read the message I had posted on October 13 2000. . .Lord! I see how confused I really was. I kept going around in circles it seems to me. My post was very repetitive.Sorry readers. (c:) I was really confused and "knocked out". So, on a lighter note, the first, second and third week of weaning were terrible. I had trouble falling asleep and refused to take more Valium. I was hard on myself, but I had no choice. Now, I'm down to 2.5mgs!!! I discovered that if I put the Valium under my tongue and let it dissolve,it works faster. And the taste? It's probably worst than if I'd conbine vinegar and lemon juice.Yuck! I don't sleep as soundly as I did when I took three pills or more, but I can actualy remember my dreams now, (I keep dreaming about my late brother who died in 1991, and husband who died almost six and a half years ago. I'm probably healing my soul in many ways. And the good news? My concentration is better, I don't stumble over furniture anymore, I don't feel like I'm in a haze anymore and my short term memory is getting better.I'll be well enough to go to college in January! One thing I must ad. . .I believe in the Holy Spirit, and I know that He has helped me along the way. My life isn't over at 38 after all!!! -Johanne @->->-
poetrylady@eudoramail.com
Johanne from Ottawa, Canada Wed Nov 29 01:40:06 CET 2000

Just a few comments on some of the recent postings. One particular from Birdy,USA.( see a few postings back) Whoever said that benzo users are addicts or are grouped into addicts must be someone working in the Addiction field or medical field for that matter. Not one person I have dealt with over the last years who became a victim of longterm benzo use should be labeled as an addict or belongs in the group of addicts. benzo sufferers have become ACCIDENTALLY addicted thru no fault of their own, their only " crime" was to do exactly what the doctor ordered them to do. They were never told the addictive potential in longterm use nor given a proper taper schedule. In- between mini withdrawal symptoms were misdiagnosed as their original problems for which the drug was given and advised to continue to take it, sometimes for life, like a diabetic needing insulin. Many people can take these drugs, seemingly without problems, yet, just as many others will develop, some in as short as a few weeks already, an addiction that is more difficult to beat than any other streetdrug combined. I don't think it is wise to disregard or to minimize a physical addiction to the drug, like it is not important or " so what, as long as it takes care of my panic attacks " kind of attitude. These drugs have never been meant to take " for Life" only short term and there are no studies on longterm users. Of course not, longterm users either died in the past or became so mentally ill that they were given more drugs, usually in the form of neuroleptics ( major tranquilizers) to keep them quiet or to shove the problems under the carpet. Withdrawal from a longterm benzo use is long and painfull and totally misunderstood by the medical profession. It takes many months or even years, with up to 135 different symptoms, at times all experienced at once. Withdrawal from cocaine/heroine etc is a walk in the park compared what benzo sufferers go through. You might feel FINE for now, after 2 years, 4 years, with no inclination for upping your dosage( neither did I by the way, I never took more or felt the need to take more)but God help you when the day comes that your physician decides " no more" or when you decide yourself to " try" it with no drugs.... I fully understand the statements that "benzos should be taken off the shelves". it is not so " ridiculous" as Birdy claims it is, when you see the extend of the suffering that goes on for months, years. benzo survivors are horrified to learn that these drugs are still being prescribed freely today,drugs that have almost cost them their lives, their marriage and ruined their careers. The medical profession leans on the ones that do not have adverse side effects, that do not seem to have become " addicted" yet, till they too, in turn ,develop symptoms, and will join the ranks of the misdiagnosed " mentally ill" and be given a life sentence in a chemical straitjacket. Benzos might have their place in medecine, but definitely not for longer than a few weeks and certainly not to be messed with while coming off. Coming off a benzo after longterm use for whatever reason, can be a guttwrenching experience, a journey from which you don't believe it is even possible to return from at the best of times. I know from first hand that anxiety and panic attacks are no picnic either and the sufferer will do anything to get relieve. Looking back now I realize I traded my anxiety in for lost years on mindnumbing pills ( including the antidepressants)years I don't remember from the foggy existence I lived in, years that feel like a black empty hole I can't fill since there are no memories or feelings attached to the faint memories I seem to get at times,to fill it with. This only will come to your realization once you have managed to get off unfortunately, had someone told me this while I was taking the stuff, I would certainly not have believed it. Madelon
jalbulet@direct.ca
Madelon Albulet from Vancouver, BC, Canada Thu Nov 30 08:16:22 CET 2000

ive been trying to cut down on valium after 20 yrs and not doing too well.lots of strange detrealisation visuall disturbances,i call it tripping -took acid twice 2o yrs ago want to come off but wonder what my life will be like.seems to v.little help typing makes me dizzy
apuxley@hotmail.com
andrew puxley from london, uk Sat Oct 28 07:53:35 CEST 2000

Hello everybody, I'm Dejan from Holland and I ame just ready with my studie to become a pshysician. I've read some of the stories here, and I just can conluse these are terrible. If anyone want to have a PERSONAL ADVICE, just mail me: den_hertog_dejan@hotmail.com. I realise that benzodiazepines are DRUGS and not MEDICINES. God Bless, Dejan den Hertog
den_hertog_dejan@hotmail.com
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Fri Nov 10 23:01:46 CET 2000

Hello everybody, I know it's very hard and difficult to stop taking benzodiazepines. My experiences with this kind of medicine or not so good. Four years ago a doctor gave me oxazepam, than tranxenen, then diazepam and temazepam, then bromazepam and lorazepam, then prazepam and midazolam, then alprazolam and triazolam etc. Now I'm still using lorazepam 10 mg a day. I really can't without it and that is not a fine feeling. So everybodu:DON'T PLEASE EVER BEGIN WITH A BENZODIAZEPINE OR SSRI SUCH AS SEROXAT (PAROXETINE), doctor's used to say that a SSRI is not an ubusal drug. I can assure you that a SSRI is even wors than a benzo. You'd better can take some clonazepam if it's REALLY necessary. If you want to ask me some questions, I know a lot about medicine, mail me. Dejan
d-den-hertog@planet.nl
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Sun Oct 29 11:58:39 CET 2000

i have only just started weaning myself off valium. but m having probs. giving up heroin. if anyone wants to write and help i will be happy thanx
takillya_sunrise@hotmail.com
jose , australia Fri Oct 20 06:03:25 CEST 2000

Hello to all of those who were concerned enough to look for information about Benzodiazepines. A doctor prescribed valiums for me in 1993.I took one 5mg every night before bedtime. On top of that, he prescribed Restoril 30mg, to help me sleep, (as if Valium would not have been enough) and Xanax as well. After two years of taking this garbage, I started getting extremely suicidal. I mutilated my body, (doing at home body piercings to myself--and I'm PETRIFIED of needles; I never felt any pain, and lost weight. My 5'8" frame carried a few pounds of fat. I went from 120 pounds to a skeletal 105 pounds. As if that wasn't enough, I started having weird rashes on my arms and behind my neck. They were open sores and liquid oozed out of them. One day, back in 1995 I wondered if perhaps I might have been poisoning myself with all of this useless trash. The first prescription that took a hike was Restoril, (which I suspected might be filled with illicit drugs). The rashes that the specialists could not find a name for, disappeared after two weeks of flushing them. Next in line was, Xanax. A drug that is just as bad as alcohol. . .very addictive/destructive. I weaned myself from it very slowly. I went from two at bedtime to 1 and a half for a week, and then 1 at bedtime, then half , until I stopped taking them altogether. I felt less depressed. I never came away from Valium however. I still take a tablet before going to bed, but lately I was starting to wonder if my memory loss and lack of concentration was due to a big car accident (passenger. . .hit by an aggressive driver) I was involved in, in 1998. Then, I reflected on my how my life was before the accident. I remember being very suicidal,(obsessed with it, and obsessed with dying, the anxiety attacks, etc. Lately, I noticed that I cannot retain knowledge and suffer extreme memory loss. I am a writer and these problems do not come in handy! Last night however, I decided to surf the web and see what I could find about Benzodiazepine drugs. I hit the nail on the head dead on when found this site. Doctors kept trying to refer me to a psychiatrist because of the mental confusion, memory loss and suicidal tendencies, without suggesting that I should try and "wean" off of Valium. You see, my body had zero tolerance for Tylenol, nicotine or anything obscure to my body.I'm extremely sensitive to medication, I hate IT (thank God) I have never consumed alcohol, so Valium is something that probably played a key role in this hunger for self destruction. I want to live; I love life. Last night I reduced the dosage of Valium down to a quarter less that I usually take. I will do it for two weeks because, after all, I've been addicted to this for seven years--whether I like the term or not, it is an addiction. After reading the information about Benzodiazepines, I realize I am up for a hell of a fight. I have faith that I will conquer it, but my fear is that I won't get my memory back. Will I? Has anyone been there and came back sane after a few months of withdrawal? I was prescribed Luvox in 1993 and went balistic. I was turning into a monster. I gave that up.(Anti-depressants did not bring back my dead brother, or repair my broken marriage/then the death of my husband shortly after,or a rape 8 months after his death. I fought the demons myself.(We have to. . .medication is a band aid. It doesn;t take away the pain. It numbs it)But. . .I have to fight with the a demon called Valium this time.I hope I'll be okay, but I admit that I am scared. If anyone has been off Valium for a while, and suffered memory loss, would it be possible to write me and tell me if his/her/your memory returned after a few months? I want to hear it from the horse's mouth, not from a doctor. Thank you Dr C. for prescribing me this medication and not warning me about the consequences/ dependancy.You knew I was anti-drug in the first place. I came close to killing myself so many times! I nearly ruined my daughter's life, not to mention my family's life with my depressions. I survived it to tell the tale, but I never knew that Benzodiazepines were also killing me. I thank the people who put this site together. Thank you so much. Please take care of yourselves and try to stay away from any drug whatsover; for your sake and for your children'd sake as well. Hug a teddy bear instead. My email address is :poetrylady@eudoramail.com . (c:)
poetrylady@eudoramail.com
Johanne from Ottawa, Canada Fri Oct 13 06:49:29 CEST 2000

Dear Benzo People, I have worked as a paramedic the past 14 yrs. I started taking Ativan 5 yrs ago due to insomnia and anxiety. Presently I have taken time off work to deal with my dependentcy. The information I am reading on tour site differs from what I am being told by my family doc. I have tapered from 3 mg. Ativan to none over the past six weeks. Presently I have not taken any for the past week but I must admit I still suffer withdrawl symptoms. I am being asked by my employer to return to work but I still am having difficulty with motor functions, insomnia, and anxiety. Can you send me information as to how long I can expect these symptoms to continue. Please keep my story in confidents
fraserhome@interbaun.com
Bruce Fraser from Edmonton, Canada Fri Oct 13 02:06:50 CEST 2000

Like a lot of you, started taking benzo's (Nordax)for pannic attack. This was three years ago. Am now living a veritable nightmare come off..halusinations, delireum tremers, unable to think, talk, do anything infact,
jasonadamsfr@yahoo.com
Jason Adams from Tours, France Sat Oct 7 23:19:43 CEST 2000

This is not a comment, I would like to have informations. I have met a man, that I enjoy a lot, to discover that he is on ativan 2 mg 5 times a day since 10 years, what does it mean, he says he suffer from anxiety? I am not use to that kind of radical medicamentation, could someone explain?
mboudrias@videotron.ca
grenier myche;e from montreal, qque, canada Sat Sep 2 06:16:24 CEST 2000

After reading a few of the postings, I'd have to agree with the person who said not all 'Benzo' users are addicts. I was am suffering from Anxiety/Panic attacks for the last 4 years and have went though just about every SSRI and MOI drugs out thier. Currently taking 100mg Elavil, 40mg Celaxa and 10mg Valium. I have never thought or felt the need to increase the Valium, to me it has been the only pill that has helped me, even if I am considered dependent to it. It is doing the job or helping me control my Anxiety/Panic attack greatly and i have been on it for 4 years now, with no adverse effects. Just thought I would mention this as it does play a very important part in some peoples situations.
Dale , SK, Canada Thu Oct 5 22:00:11 CEST 2000

I have read many of your comments and stories, and found them quite helpful and disturbing in some cases, I have recently been of Prozac for about 3 days now and don't feel so good. I thought there wasn't supposed to be any withdrawals symptoms with this drug????????
anavienola@hotmail.com
ana vienola from Watsonville, CA, USA Fri Oct 6 18:54:17 CEST 2000

I am working with a group of counsellors running self-help withdrawal and "coping with tranquilliser use" groups. There is hope of breaking free. I would like to hear from others doing the same work or from benzodiazepine users who have already found this approach helpful.
patricia.mcgirr@ic24.net
Trish McGirr from Manchester, UK Thu Oct 5 14:43:15 CEST 2000

23 male, Klonopin 4 yrs, last phase of taper, withdrawing My days are turning into long drawn out periods of confusion, electrical dysfunction, anxiety, and helplessness. My nights are long, restless, and sleepless. I am afraid the chemistry of my brain has been altered in a permanent manner. My life, I’m afraid to say, seems wasted. As days progress I am becoming more and more hopeless. I have dreams but little or no current hope of achieving them. Benzodiazepines have caused me more trouble than I have ever imagined possible. I’m sorry that I ever met Dr. Raymond Piño of Gainesvile, FL.
steverosenfarb@hotmail.com
Steve from miami, fl, USA Wed Oct 4 01:18:34 CEST 2000

I read some of the comments about these drugs and I thank all of you for being so honest. I have been taking lorazepam for about 3-4yrs. My head has been in a fog ever since.. I was so worried about my memory,I thought I was going sinial at the age of 45. I have had anxiety most of my life. I would rather do something else plus the lorazepam if I did not take it I would be moving 100 miles an hour cleaning and all kinds housework , mowing the lawn I could not stop I would forget to eat I ended up at 105 lbs. They put me on samples of nurontin, don't take it I read that zoloft and nurontin don't mix. I trusted my pyschitrist so I kept taking it and started to have involuntary movements, like the jerking in torrets,just lately bye bye nurontin and I am ready to say bye bye shrinky. I believe in Christ and the power of his word and the people who follow him. I hope you all get the help you need . May God bless you all for posting your trama's. take care. JBPerry In God we trust........
Jbethperry@hotmail.com
Jb Perry from North Bend, WA, USA Tue Oct 3 17:57:57 CEST 2000

we are looking for info. about valium (depressant) for projects. please if you have any personal expeiriences or stories send us them. general info wanted too. thank you/
tsukamakimaki@hotmail.com
sara and eri from tokyo, japan Wed Oct 4 03:20:45 CEST 2000

Hi,it was both a relief and a shock to stumble accross this web site.My story is probably no different from anybody elses out there,so I shall keep it short so that I don`t bore anybody.I was first prescribed Lorazepam 3 years ago for extreme anxiety brought on by nervous exhuastion through overwork.My problem really began because I was able to get the drug on repeat prescription,as you all know out there that because you build up a tolerance to the drug it is so easy to up your dose when your levels of medication is unchecked.Anyway this is what I did to the point that I ended taking 15mg`s a day,it was at this point that things really started to go wrong for me in that I started to lose my short term memory, I lost the ability to make rational and co-herent decisions about things.This resulted in me splitting up from my wife and just about losing everything including my life.It was at this point that I realised that I had a real addiction problem and sought advice.I gradually cut down my dailly dose of Lorazepam until I was advised to switch over to Diazepam I am currently taking 5m.g.`s a day and have been told that I don`t have far to go but to me it still seems a lifetime away.The withdrawal that I feel sometimes is so frightening that I OFTEN WONDER if it is withdrawal or am I going mad,anyway having said that I am beginning to get a bit of clarity back again but I am so desparate to be free of this and just want to be rid of this whole episode.This site has helped me I do not know anybody who has endured what Ihave and it is a relief to read of other peoples experiences and know that I am not alone in all this mess.THANKS TO YOU ALL.
pougpirie@yahoo.co.uk
Douglas Pirie from GLASGOW, Scotland Fri Sep 29 01:18:05 CEST 2000

To get to the point I have been taking 1mg of Klonopine each night for a sleeping disorder for nearly 3 years. I do not suffer from anxiety, have not had to adjust the dosage, and the only symptom I have experienced is some minor short term memory loss. I have not adjusted the dosage at all during this time. A neurologist, sleep study specialist prescribed the medication for RSL (restless leg symptom). My situation though, is somewhat mysterious. You see, I only have my sleep problem from May until early November(from spring to first frost). An adrenalin rush of sorts keeps me from sleeping perhaps 3 nights straight. Doctors do not understand this because it appears to be allergy related - with no way to diagnose what the allergen is. I live in Virginia, USA. Anyhow, the medication works great - no more waking up gasping for air, RLS, heart pounding, etc. I thought I could take the stuff for 6 months and then be off for the winter. Problem was, when I tried to wean off - I couldn't sleep. So I ended up just staying of the medication year round. This didn't especially bother me until I found this sight and now I'm scared to death what this stuff is doing to my body and if I can ever get off of it. I told my doctor I wanted to get off during the winter months and he did not seem to understand why I would want to since I was not having any adverse symptoms and was not needing to increase dosage. The fact is, for some reason I need help sleeping during the summer, but I don't want to stay on this drug if I don't have to. If I am not having any problems now,what are the long term affects of taking this medication at my dosage? Is there something I can take to help wean off during my "good months"? If I get off should I consider any alternative medication? and Finally, are you aware of anyone else in the world who has symptoms similar to what I have described and if so, how are they treating it? Thanks for any information you may offer,
MCraft , USA Sat Sep 23 00:42:31 CEST 2000

Hi i am a 23 yr. old women who began taking xanax at the age of 18. It was after a rape and a few other things that i will spare you that led to my not being able to sleep. Then i began having panic attacks. My doc got me up to 1 mg 3x a day. Let me tell everyone who is thinking of going on this drug or has been on it only a short time. STOP NOW!!! I tried to detox several times in the last few years and it has ended in disaster. I made it 2 days once and was crawling around, screaming literally from the WD. I have tried meditation, praying, exercise, tapering, the whole nine yards. Nothing worked. I just recently found out I was pregnant. I am now left sitting here in fear of being taken off of the drug and in fear of my baby going through what i do when i tried to detox, there is no solution to it. I can honestly say that my life ended the day i swallowed that little pill that numbed me, now i have been living from pill to pill in constant fear. I think back to when I was a teenager and how happy and free i was, now i am locked into a xanax jail for life. I have talked to my doctor about it and a few others, it blows me away how they can be so critical and say its your fault for becoming dependant then say just stop them! thats like saying to stop breathing! Yet they see it as nothing. Anyways, I just hope that one day I regain the person that still lies inside of me waiting for this painful terrible addiction to go away, until then i can only hope. Good Luck to You all.
Blondie , USA Fri Sep 22 05:25:53 CEST 2000

Benzos suck! They are a CNS depressant, and since anxiety and depression go together like bacon and eggs, they don't solve your problem. They only mask it. It is worth the extra effort to find a medication that does not provide instant relief, but long-term relief. By the way, when I weaned off Klonopin and Restoril, I thought I literally was going to die. My whole body was tremoring, my hands and feet were ice cold, my heart was racing, and I didn't even know if it was withdrawel or my anxiety disorder rearing its ugly head. This, of course, is a decision you have to make for yourself. It is VERY hard to get off benzos, especially if your underlying anxiety is bad. Let me say this; I NEVER thought I would be able to go 1 DAY without them, let alone the 4 weeks it has been now. Good luck, and God bless.
houstonjay_2000@yahoo.ocm
Jay from Houston, TX, USA Thu Sep 21 03:17:21 CEST 2000

Hello people...I just surfed onto this site and I would like to share from my experiences with benzodiazapines in the hope it might help others. I was hooked on benzos for almost 15 years and they almost destroyed my life. it didn't matter if it was diazapam, lorazapam, lectopam, Xanax, whatever-pam.....I have the disease of addiction. These pills also led me to many other drugs which ultimately brought me to my rock-bottom...jail. When doctors began cutting me off my prescriptions, I began forging my own to get more
Pete from Ottawa, Canada Sat Sep 16 17:56:37 CEST 2000

Well, I have been reading this board now for over a year, and it's time to put my 2 cents in, for what it's worth. Not ALL people taking Benzo's end up in the crapper, so to speak. I have been taking 2 mgs of Xanax for over 2 years, and I am doing fine. Have not felt the need to "up" the dosage; in fact, I have taken, on occasion, 1.5 mgs a day for weeks at a time. Right around my "time of the month", I usually am on the 2 mgs. Everyone who takes a Benzo for one reason or another, should not be "grouped" as "addicts". Yes, Benzos are PHYSICALLY addicting, however, so are many, many drugs on the market today. The notion that Benzos are horrendous, and should be taken off the shelves, is ridiculous.
Birdy , USA Wed Sep 13 21:54:55 CEST 2000

I am happy that I found this site. I am currently on 4 mg Ativan, 2mg twice a day. I have been on this drug for about 8 years, with increasing dosages. I am tired of being a "slave" to it, even to the point where I wanted to stay in the same city, after a divorce, to maintain the doctor who prescribes it! I have talked to him about quitting and he says that not having anxiety is more important than anything, because I had physical symtoms of anxiety before. I don't agree anymore. I feel I am a slave to this drug and want off. I have read all the comments here and am going to ask him for a schedule to taper down, I know that you cannot just quit. I wish I had never started but that seems to be the concensus here. Thanks to all of you for you comments and I will be checking back in.
Luna , USA Tue Sep 12 20:53:46 CEST 2000

how I got hooked on Xanax. Took Luvoux with an actifed tablet, went into psychosis state and was admitted to a mental hospital. Drs. there gave me xanax twice a day !!! Now for the 3rd. time I am trying to come off of it !!!
kevin@electromax.com
kevin j. cassidy from houston, tx, USA Tue Sep 12 19:38:43 CEST 2000
www.electromax.com

Hiyas, iv'e been on Diazapam for 9 years now averaging maybe 35mgs a day.I think we all know the torment and shit that goes hand in hand with anxiety, so ill spare ya the sob story.If any of yas out there have just started taking this drug or one in its family, get off it! I can't begin to tell you how it will screw your life up, and i know its hell, ive never experienced fear like a panic attack chucks out.But in hindsight if i knew what this would do to me i prolly would have been better off smoking crak.Don't let the doctors and shrinks palm you off with these things, it's not the answer, and for all you folk that have been on them for a couple of years.. get off them NOW! After being on them for 9 yrs, it has started to fuck up my memory, depress me and making me very short tempered, im cutting down on it, and yes its hard.. im a young man and i dont want to be a slave, i think ive served my time.. best of luck to all trying to conquer this problem..heh, scuse the english its near 7am..time for bed.
anon , USA Tue Sep 5 07:49:39 CEST 2000

Hello, everyone. Just signing in to see what I can learn. Bad stuff these benzos are. Best wishes to all. Steve
Steven_Stoddard_2000@yahoo.com
Steven Stoddard from Manchester, NH, USA Mon Sep 4 15:33:22 CEST 2000

Wow. I've been on three tablets of 1.0 mg of xanax every night that was originally prescibed to me by my shrink forinsomnia. No one told me about its powerful affects on mymind and body...only recently did I find this out when Imoved to a new house and was unable to refill my presciption from out of state. I stopped taking it for five days and couldn't sleep at all, was dizzy, sweating, and trembling. I went to the health clinic and the doctor on duty there was stunned. He said," My god you've been taking this amount for three years? And the psychiatrist never told you that it's addicting?" I was in for more shock as he rattled off other symptoms and the fact that I could have had a seizure by suddenly withdrawing the xanax. In shock I left and he gave me a small amount so I would find another psychiatrist who could help me get off this stuff. Slowly, I've been given lowered doses every time I visit the new doctor. My mind feels clearer and less fuzzy. One day I won't need this shit at all. I can't believe I've been on this for so long without ever hearing about the consequences of it!
sexysyren@aol.com
M , USA Sun Sep 3 11:05:32 CEST 2000

I'd like to find out about the withdrawl symptoms of Tranxene 11.25 after being on them for 4 years. I'd like to try and stop taking them and my doctor says I should too, but I don't know what I'm in for. Thanks
racefam.3@gatewaynet.com
lori , USA Fri Sep 1 04:23:50 CEST 2000

This is not a comment, I would like to have informations. I have met a man, that I enjoy a lot, to discover that he is on ativan 2 mg 5 times a day since 10 years, what does it mean, he says he suffer from anxiety? I am not use to that kind of radical medicamentation, could someone explain?
mboudrias@videotron.ca
grenier myche;e from montreal, qque, canada Sat Sep 2 06:17:20 CEST 2000

WOW WHAT HAVE I GOT MY SELF INTO (lorazapam). I found this sight after my first and last night on sonata 10 mg. First and last time I will take that junk!So now this web site gives me the low down on lorazapam Only by The BLood Of Jesus May ANY of us make it BILl channellbh@adiis .net
channellbh@adiis.net
Bill from Marshalltown, IA, USA Sun Aug 20 16:43:54 CEST 2000

Hallo people, I know it's very difficult to stop taking a benzodiazepine, because it's 'so nice' at the beginning. I just would like to tell anybody: DON'T EVER, EVER TAKE THIS KIND OF MEDICINE, IF IT IS NOT VERY, VERY NECESSARY. If you have to use a benzodiazepine, don't take it more than a month inclusive stopping with it. For all questions, you can mail me. I'm a specialist in benzo's and a doctor and I would like to gave you a good advice. Excuse me for my bad English, but I'm Dutch. Mail me and keep on!!! Dejan
dejandenhertog@planet.nl
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Holland Tue Aug 22 22:51:15 CEST 2000

Pleeease , to ALL . STOP CAFEAN ( Cofee , Tea ) , just trust me and then you will be able to cut down on the med on your own , you don't need to go coold turky , step at a time
marven from orlando, fl, USA Thu Aug 17 07:07:20 CEST 2000

Due to an accident involving my neck, I had to have a disk removed. Following the surgery the doctors informed me that I might have some lasting side effects. They were right. I developed a loud ringing in my ears and a severe nervious condition. Several medfications were tried but Xanax was the only one the relived both conditions but I developed anxiety along the way. That was 9 years ago. I have never been on more than 2 mgs a day. Now I am coming off Xanax and next week I will be down to .25mgs a day. I have heard that after you are off Xanax you may experience rebound anxiety. What does a person do in these cases? Does he take Xanax again or does he just cope with it? Thanks Dan
cqki8fh@juno.com
Dan from Garden City, MI, USA Wed Aug 9 14:17:04 CEST 2000

FYI, there is a relatively new drug called "sonata" on the market being used to induce sleep, this drug has a very quick halflife and produces no hanfover or rebound insomnia, it is not a benzodiazapine, I have not tryed it but know people who have and since addiction for many started out as an attempt to deal with insomnia (for whatever reason) I thougt this may be of some interest to people, keep your stick on the ice.....
jagpill@hotmail.com
, Canada Sun Aug 6 17:56:01 CEST 2000

I hope I have found a site which may help me. Are all my feelings of pain in joints, muscles, chest all withdrawal symptons from being on Zydol (pain killer) for nearly two years. I get to the third day and give in, but if anyone can reassure me that it will all go I would dearly love to hear from you. It is wrecking my life. Regards - June - desperado
junecrook@totalise.co.uk
June Crook from KENT, ENGLAND Thu Aug 3 17:41:18 CEST 2000

Hello! I don't know exactly how I came to find this board, but I'm extremely happy I did. My name's John. (Nice ta meetcha all!)and my problem seems right at home here. Maybe someone can help me, rather than the doctors that have robbed me of the past 7 years of my life(and my life savings as well). I developed a strange "condition" back in 1993. After a horrible break up and nervous breakdown, I was having problems with my body. My hair changed in texture and my singing voice (I WAS a singer) just dissapeared. I became agorophobic and incredibly depressed. I also became a shut in. I saw many doctors about my throat problem, but none could help. In my anger and frustration, I started using cocaine as a way to numb my heart and head. Well, It did serious damage to my stomach lining and my health (of course) got worse. When I was finally "diagnosed" with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) crossed with Clinical Depression it was no surprise to me. I knew I was stressed and beyond sad. I started experiencing pain in my stomach, which I'd never known before.(every week they had me on some NEW drug for my NEW condition. Several, one of which was PREVACID almost KILLED me. I lost 32 lbs in 4 weeks on that one! Everytime I called and said "This med is making me sick!! They'd say "Oh!! Just take ONE MORE A DAY!!!! The dosage was up to 3 a day and I almost died. I clocked in at 131lbs and I'm 6 foot!!) I had been "diagnosed" with up to 15 (!) other conditions (from Candida to Duodenitis, ulcers, and the ever popular "It's all in your head!" diagnosis.)And treatment for all of them failed because I NEVER HAD THEM! Finally I was put on Prozac and Ativan. Hmmmm. Let's see. Between the blackouts and violent outbursts (which I still can't even recall) my life slowly started to unravel. I took myself off the Prozac and Ativan because of the horrible side effects. Then I was put on Klonopin. I thought this was a lifesaver!! My stress level reduced and my health actually came slightly back. NOT my voice though. I was taking 3 1.mg tabs a day. I was in NUMBED bliss. I wasn't any better off. Then it turned on me. The Klonopin had a bad chemical reaction with my body or my brain's neurotransmitters because I was suddenly extremly MEAN
HRTXLR8R@aol.com
John Tuli from Margate, Fl, USA Wed Jul 26 20:37:35 CEST 2000

I am a survivor of 22 years of valium, including an 19 month taper. I run an in person support group called benzonon. Please feel free to corespond, there is much work to do .. I work with Proffesor C.Heather Ashton, the head of neural sciences at the university of newcastle upon tyne in England, and she has a lifetime investment in benzo withdrawal. If I can be of service to anyone anytime, please write to me. Glen H.
benzonon@yahoo.com
glen h. from nyc, ny, USA Wed Jul 19 22:22:50 CEST 2000

Hi there. I began to taper off Klonopin about three weeks ago from 5 mg a day for panic attacks and anxiety disorder. The withdrawal has been horrible and has produced the same symptoms that I was first being treated for (only worse this time). I think that I am doing well though and am very proud of myself. I am a firm believer that benzos are a go nowhere drug. They only increased my anxiety because the covered up the underlying behavioral issues. Thus within the course of a year and a half I went from 2 mg a day to 5 or more depending upon how I was feeling . Benzos are not medicine--they CAUSE disease. I would be really interested in finding out if there is any sort of patient advocacy groups out there fighting against benzodiazepene prescription because if so, I would like to get involved. I feel like this drug has made me a mere shell of what I used to be. Normal, everyday tasks have become frightening or I lack the energy to do them. Klonopin has stolen from me what could have been a very good and productive time in my life and I can never get that back. I don't want others to go through the same.
misslaura17@hotmail.com
Laura from Boston, MA, USA Mon Jul 10 20:59:25 CEST 2000

To anyone who wants to start dabbling in Ativan especially for exams and such,you better know it can have a slite hypnotic effect and doesn't improve your school marks, it is rather a "disinhibtor" and may relax you but certainly wont help you focus. Starting on these drugs at such a young age is just asking for trouble, to easy to get hooked, ruin your life before you even have a chance to live it, my advice, drink some earbal tee, take up Karate or something that will help your focus, live your life without the pain of addiction and remember that these are powerfull drugs over prescribed for all range of neuroses, never seen a vending machine at school that said "ativan for your exams" Keep your stick on the ice..
jagpill@hotmail.com
, Canada Sun Jul 9 22:07:05 CEST 2000

I wrote 2 yrs ago about getting off Xanax. Well, thank God I'm still off and growing stronger by the day. If your Doc trys to get you on the junk, e-mail me. I will gladly share my horror story(s) and provide any support possible. I'm not that familiar with all the different meds out there for bipolar folks like me, but I have been experimented on quite a bit by different medical 'professionals'.
5kbz@bayou.com
Steve from Calhoun, LA, USA Thu Jul 6 21:28:02 CEST 2000

I am a recovering alcoholic and recovering drug addict since March 16, 1985. Even though it is the year 2000, I am still amazed at how some doctors don't seem to understand what addiction means. A week and half ago,I had to be rushed to the emergency room with a rather nasty attack of spastic colitis. Even though I had made it abundantly clear that I cannot safely take any tranquilizers or barbituates, the doctors still kept talking about giving me Donnatal, which has phenobarbital in it!!!!! I had to keep saying "NO" before they finally got it in their heads that "No Tranqulizers" means "NO Tranquilizers!!!!" What ARE they teaching these doctors in medical school?????
Patricia.McCoy@gallaudet.edu
Pat McC. from Greenbelt, MD, USA Mon Jul 3 21:36:37 CEST 2000

A friend of mine wants to take lorazepam during the exam period. I´m very afraid of that. I don´t know exactley how much an how long she will take ist but I`m afraid. The maximum time might be 1 1/2 to 2 weeks. Not sure wheter she´ll take it all the time or only when she needs it. Now, might there be any side affects when taking it a few times a year? She sais she never had any problems when she quit taking it after the exams and never showed one of the symptoms. Now, I think it´s never good taking these things but how is the risk in this case? Thanks for any information
h.loehr@web.de
Holger , USA Sun Jun 25 10:29:51 CEST 2000

I lost almost ten years of my life due to benzodiazepine dependency and behavioural toxicity. Due to a perid of anxiety, I was prescribed serepax (oxazepam) when I was 20. This drug insidiously altered my personality over time, and I also gradually developed increasingly disabling phobias and obsessive compulsive thinking which was erroneously diagnosed as a worsening of the original disorder and in turn treated with a variety of other drugs. I have later seen that the abovementioned symptoms can occur in benzodiazepine withdrawal and also develop when tolerance to the initial dosage develops, but this was overlooked by the prescribing doctor. After a couple of years on oxazepam, I switched to valium (diazepam) which brought about a significant change. This drug has a longer half life, and consequently the symptoms of tolerance and interdose withdrawal vanished. However, the behavioural toxicity on 30 mg valium caused aggression and tiredness, and I lost some of my friends since I had frequent outbursts of anger and tended to argue rather aggressively with people around me. The worst consequence, however, of this aggressive behaviour was the loss of relation to my younger sister. On one occasion, I acted in a very disagreeable and rude manner towards her and since then we have never talked to each other. I regret very much that this ever happened, and I wished I could somehow have identified the origin of this unnatural aggressiveness at an earlier stage. I also got deeply depressed during these years, and the additional antidepressants made little difference in this regard. The doctors, even "specialists" who were consulted, were unable to do anything about the disorder which was deemed to be chronic and best treated with a long-term combination of benzos and antidepressants and supportive psychotherapy on top of it. Finally, my condition had become so bad that I tried to put an end to my increasingly miserable life in a desperate way. I was lucky enough to survive without becoming permanently disabled, and then the psychologlist decided at last that it was time to get rid of the tormenting benzos. We discussed the schedule for withdrawal, and I discontinued the occasional sleeping agents without much trouble and then, at a very slow rate of 1 mg each week, the valium was tapered off. I was highly motivated to do this, and when drug discontinuation was completed I experienced that I did not suffer any more from the mysterious "treatment refractory" disorder and that I wanted to live and work again. I could leave the detox unit shortly afterwards and resume studying, and today I work as a teacher (I had to resign from my job as a journalist during the benzo years). I submit my story in order to illustrate how treacherous the symptoms of benzodiazepine dependency and intoxication can be, but also to show that even though the situation may seem utterly hopeless in the midst of drug dependency, things may turn out very different after drug detox and recovery.
cartaguesa@hotmail.com
Carl , USA Fri Jun 23 17:14:25 CEST 2000

I couldn'twork or get dressed or drive or ANYTHING!!My best friend called me crying and said I needed help and she would take me whereever I could get it.I went to my internist and was told I should get psychological help-I did.The first MD made me worse-then I went to a female MD and knew we had clicked.With her help of seven months of therapy and XANAX I was able to GET my life back!I have been on a total of 1.0mg a day(less than in the beginning of treatment)I'm able to work again and I've even flown on vacation-which I could never do before.My biggest problem is pressure from my daughter to get off it-after reading all these comments,I'm not so sure.The alternative to my life now remains all to vivid-why go back to that suffering?I have appreciated everyone's commments.My heart goes out to all those who have suffered and I do applaud your courage.But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar....GOOD LUCK ALL.... I guess I'm one of the few supporters of Xanax-in 1992three tragadies hit me within 3 weeks.I crashed!I started having severe panic attacks 24 hours a day and ended up in the ER.I was given Xanax.The next three weeks I became worse.
CRIS , MA, USA Thu Apr 27 00:46:30 CEST 2000

As of this writing, I have 16 months off of benzodiazepines (Xanax) and all other mood/mind altering chemicals including alcohol. Recovery is possible!!! There are two sites that allow for the sharing of info and daily support. One is benzo@egroups.com for people who want to come of benzos or are in withdrawal. The other is benzofree@egroups.com for people who are clean and want continued support in their recovery. Please give yourself a break and believe that you can recover.
addydawn@hotmail.com
Marlene , NJ, USA Sat Apr 29 23:14:27 CEST 2000

I have been taking ativan for anxiety and insomnia for 7 years. I was initially put on this medication to ease the jitteriness caused by antidepressant therapy. I have come to realize that this combination is actually far worse than the illness itself. I could never figure out why I would begin to crave the ativan about 4 hours before bedtime, and yes, experience withdrawl symptoms on a day to day basis because of ativan's mid range half-life. Until researching the effects of this drug I did not know that this is what I am experiencing. Life has been hell for a long, long time! I have begun withdrawl on my own, with some discomfort. Your sight has helped me realize the importance of slow tapering. I am furious with the medical professions apparent indifference to the addicting potential and harm these drugs cause. Then again, once you are started on a benzodiazepine, you become a patient for life. Steady source of low stress income don't you think? I have noticed since decreasing my dose by half I am sleeping less soundly, but I am much more alert during the day. I even feel less depressed, and that's with no change in the antidepressant!
Sue , Mi, USA Mon May 1 04:43:23 CEST 2000

It is standard practice for psychiatrists to prescribe benzois for people with manic-depression (bipolar). If you are bipolar, please know thaT BENZOS WILL DO YOU ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD. I've been on Ativan for 6 yrs
jbarnet@totacc.com
Jeff Barnet from Las Cruces , NM, USA Thu May 4 00:22:25 CEST 2000

I have insomnia. terrible insomnia. I've taken sooooooooooo many different drugs, and absolutely none of them have had any effect. i think i've taken just about every BZ drug out there and not one of them has helped. My doctors and myself are at a loss. i usually sleep 1 or two hours a night. it makes it extremely difficult to hold down a job, school, relationship, ect. I mean, i'm 27 years old, still livig with my parents and don't even own a car. i think the longest i've ever kept a job, is 11 months at one time which is the one i am working at now. the only way i have been able to do that is that i discovered that if you take 10 times the regualr dose of certain cold medicines "contact" in particular, you be come so agitated and sleepless, it's a little easier to stay awake. i take probably 120 hours worth of medicine every morning to get me through the day. i know that abuse of such cold medicines cause kidney and liver damage and eventually orgar failure. it's to the point now where i'm starting to turn a little yellow in skin color. Unfortunately, i have no other alternatives other than to slowly kill myself so that i can have a "normal life" if there is such a thing. You know, i think to myself that life is not supposed to be like this. is it? I truely know why people commit suicide. even though i'm not suicidal, i can appreciate the reason why some do it. Some days i really wish that i had guts to kill myself, but un fortunately i care too much about all the people i'd hurt. Can anyone help? I've been asking god for a while now. I think maybe he gave me a rain check or something. Best regards, Eric
Dial30lik@hotmail.com
Just call me Mr. E from wilmington, DE, USA Wed May 10 01:54:43 CEST 2000

i first found this web when i was only off xanax 18 months--now it has been 34 months!! i am doing ok--not great --but i would say about 70% recovered!! so yea me!! i was taken off xanax 5 mgs for 7 yrs cold turkey!! so my motto in the medical field is still--Trust NO ONE!! trust you!! so every one doing this keep hanging in there!!Denise
dlrock@webtv.net
Denise Lee from morro bay, ca, USA Wed May 10 02:10:07 CEST 2000

Hello has all! This site is interesting, because few testimonys clear and precise On the users of " benzo... " in my country exist. I am French and I live close to Paris, I am 35 years old. My big problem is the LEXOMIL which I have regularly used For approximately 10 years with a regular amount from 4 to 6 Mg per day, I have to however try several times to stop my car medicamentation, Nothing nor made I feel really captive of this drug. When I do not have any any more I will see my doctor, and I shine tell stories, in any event what counts it is the LEXOMIL! my dependence is real and worst it is than I become Agressif, therefore, less and less cool. Please! Help me! Give me your testimonys on this type of drug, 91150 Stamps Thank you... Bruno.paillares@free.fr France 91150 ETAMPES PS I highly seek sites of people who testify As on that , in possible French ,thank... FREE
BBUNO.PAILLARES@FREE.FR
PAILLARES from ETAMPES, 91150, FRANCE Fri May 12 23:14:29 CEST 2000
FREE.FR

Dear God is all I can say. I had no clue. I have been on Ativan for 5 years and a huge variety of anti-depressants which I no longer take. I've tried stopping the ativan before... never lasted more than 2 days. I never cared either. I didn't know what it was doing to me. I've been to endless numbers of Dr.'s trying to find out what's caused this chronic illness that started 5 years ago with panic (most likely low blood sugar I've discovered now) and most recently horrible headaches and extreme lethargy. I haven't left my house in almost 3 weeks and I've only been able to cut back .5 mg. Some days are better than others, the afternoons are better than the nights and mornings. ( I take the ativan at bedtime) I don't know if I can get through this... I'm looking for others in my area to support and help each other. You all know the rage, the helplessness and the fear that this will never end. I'm only 26 and just beginning my life and getting married soon. I'm afraid of losing my job, my home, etc.. God didn't create these medications as part of His world.. we should know better. I fear the withdrawal and have been scared sick by most of the testimony on this page. I will continue with SLOW tapering as a result of my readings and thank you all for sharing your stories. Please contact me and we can help and pray for each other. L. Miller
sweetiehead@hotmail.com
Miller from Utica, MI, USA Sun May 14 00:56:46 CEST 2000

This is a very nice place !
spavle@nightmail.com
Protector 1uno from Gospic, Li, Croatia Mon May 22 06:42:22 CEST 2000
http://www.inet.hr/~pspoljar

Hello everybody, I'm Dejan, 27 years old from Holland. I just would like to say that it's more simple then you think to get off benzodiazepines. You must at first slowly take less of the medicine you take. At the last week you may try CARBAMAZEPINE. This IS NOT A BENZODIAZEPINE AND IT HAS NOT A EFFECT WHICH THE BENZO'S HAVE. I mean: With carbamazepine you feel even 'nice' as if with example 2mg of clonazepam or 40 mg diazepam. Dejan from Holland
dejandenhertog@nlgateway.net
Dejan den Hertog from Den Haag, Nederland Mon Jun 5 01:14:20 CEST 2000

My story can be found on the guestbook. I now do some voluntary work at the Tranquilliser Project that helped me so much. They are in Bristol in the UK but take several Internet calls every week. They help people understand the damage these drugs do , run groups and do 1 to 1 counselling. It is run by recovered ex-addicts and recovering volunteers. As well as being recovered the staff are trained counsellors. They send out information packs and as they are a registered charity all they ask is a small donation to cover postage and photocopying costs. There is also a helpline which is available Mon- Thurs 10am - 4pm UK time. The # is 0117-9349950, if anyone would like a info pack would you either ring the above # or email me(I've a new address) @ carolann@packer1.freeserve.co.uk I hope this is of help. Best Wishes, Carol.
carolann@packer1.freeserve.co.uk
Carol Packer from somerset, UK Wed Jun 14 19:28:02 CEST 2000

Hi, This site is wonderful and growing all the time, well done. I wonder if you would kindly add our helpline number to our contact address that you have on your contacts list already. It is for the Bristol
carolann@packer1.freeserve.co.uk
Carol Packer , UK Wed Jun 14 19:33:03 CEST 2000

Well I am working in a geriatric center,i will do a study of the use of benzodiazepine in age,please send inrformation that you have about this topic and some recomendation to this Thanks Juan Jose Lozada Lima Peru
juanjoselozada@hotmail.com
Juan Jose Lozada from Lima, Peru Tue Apr 18 05:50:43 CEST 2000

I have a few comments about what Xanx has done to ruin my father's life. He started on Valium, and was put on an experimental drug Xanx to replace the Valium in the 1970's. My father was born in 1934, and has been Xanx for along time. He had a stroke in 1994 and he lives in Ocala Florida, but he still drinks beer everyday and takes Xanx to wash them down. My brother and I are no longer in contact with him my father severed all ties with us for no apparent reason. I grew up in a very dysfuntional household. I will never take a pill to solve my problems because of learning from my father's mistakes. I wish my father would stop taking Xanx he takes 3-6 a day depending on the day. He drove from Michigan to Florida on Xanx and he never was stopped, I believe he has built up a high tolerance to the pills by now. If you read this note and you are taking pills to solve your problems PLease STOP !! First realize that your are addicted, and don't lie to yourself the proper Psychological term is " Denial " !! Then call your Doctor or mental health professional before it's too late ! Don't let these pills destroy your lives " PLease forgive my grammar. Kurt
SLCHOSY@EARTHLINK.NET
KURT KAUFMAN from GARDEN CITY, MI, USA Sat Apr 15 03:13:41 CEST 2000

At times I get really overwhelmed. Which is why I am writing. Being a worrier, and hypochondriac, and all that other unpleasantness that goes along with anxiety, I shiver when I read the stories of withdrawal. It makes me feel like I'm between a rock and hard place. Last year I had a nervous breakdown, brought on by undiagnosable things going on in my body that has yet to be resolved and actually continues to deteriorate (connective tissue disease I'm sure, yet still negative in the tests), but I really felt terrible. I was having tremors, shakes, extreme vigilance, insomnia, racing thoughts, and extreme worry. I wasn't taking any medicine. So they prescribed me various anti-depressants, none of which had the desired results: paxil - which made me feel as though I had 20 cups of coffee and gave me lots of electricity; remeron - which made me feel detached and as though I was recovering from a blow to the head - not to mention confused; elavil - confusion; effexor - sweaty, panicky, and feeling like I had 20 cups of coffee; and serzone which made me feel dizzy, sick, and feverish. I gave up and finally asked the Doctor for xanax, because it had been prescribed during one of my many visits to the ER in a 2 week period (only dx's they had were anxiety/depression). When I took it, I noticed it helped…with concentrating, the shaking, etc…and the empty hollow anxious depression. Basically anytime you seek help for mental symptoms your screwed. You don't want to feel awful and stay in a present state of un-medicated misery or you get a prescription for a benzodiazepine (or anti-depressant which unfortunately none have ended up working for me) so you can cope with a wicked hand your mind has lent you. But at the same time you become dependent on something you weren't on ever before. I have always suffered from nervous depression, and used heavy duty exercise, prayer, quality time with my wife, and moderate amounts of alcohol to combat it. Unfortunately, I caved in and now I'm up the creek. I've been on xanax for over a year, and still feel anxiety, and I worry that I'll take them my whole life unless God lays a miracle on me. But what I think a lot of people need to realize, though they have terrible withdrawal effects, they help a lot of people, like me. Had it not been for the prescription, I might not be here today…I was contemplating the big S. So I think people do need to get over the stigma of them as well….In the meantime, I have to live with the consequence of resorting to them… Post note: Has anyone not had a terrible withdrawal…is 2.5 mg a day a lot…am I going to feel it…I get the feeling of what it will be like…like time has stopped, racing fragmented disjointed thoughts, shakiness….frankly I'm scared…. Any thoughts or suggestions feel free to write.
krisholm@beta.tricity.wsu.edu
A fellow sufferer , USA Wed Apr 5 03:47:31 CEST 2000

Wow, this has been very enlightening. I have been on Klonopin (.5's 3x a day) for 4 months, and honestly I feel it has changed my life. My anxiety attacks are gone, my social phobia effectively wiped out, and I've recently quit drinking--no longer needing that as a crutch... But do I have a new one? I stumbled upon this sight after recommending Klonopin to a friend (some of you are going "NO WAY" right now, huh?) who suffers from same things I did. She was curious if I had done any background. I hadn't, obviously. I feel more "comfortable in my own skin" than I have ever felt--except for the withdrwal feeling from alcohol (I drank a fair amount, mostly on weekends when I'd get hammered), or at least that's what I'm attributing this confused, depressed state to. Is my self-diagnosis wrong? Is this feeling more related to the effects of the big K? I hadn't really considered the long term effects. Since I started, my job has taken off, things feel really good. Is this all about to change? Truth is, I forgot to bring some K along on a weekend trip and it was a nightmare--actually had my doctor get a a three pill dose to tide me over till I get back. SO, I know what you all are talking about, but I guess I'm just wondering if I NEED to quit, will it become apparent after awhile that this is not a great thing for me? Thanks for your input.
Bob from NYC, NY, USA Wed Mar 29 00:55:52 CEST 2000

Interesting site! I think that I just learned about my problem by reading these guestbook messages alone. My story is quite long, so bear with me. When I was seven years old, I fell down a flight of stairs at school. I had some brain damage and started having epileptic seizures. I was tried on several drugs, but nothing seemed to control my epilepsy well until a combination of Meberal (a barbiturate) and valium was prescribed. It worked well from 1970-1982, my last known seizure occurred in 1973. My doctor suggested that since it was controlled so well, for me to quit cold turkey. It worked, with no withdrawal symptoms at all, or so I thought until today, when I read some messages on this guestbook. Insomnia has plagued me for a long time. It was so bad in 1984 that I could not sleep properly while a student at Western Michigan University. I seriously considered suicide, but I merely dropped out instead. Whenever it was important to get a good night's sleep, I found myself unable to do so, and I often ruined some opportunities for advancing my career because I was too sleepy. It is understandable how depression can arise from this. With the advent of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, my depression was treated in 1996 with Paxil. But insomnia continues, unless I take Xanax the night before important events. The Xanax works well, but this guestbook has made me wonder if I should continue using it. I do not have any dreams unless I take Xanax, but I can't fully explain this.
naboom_2000@hotmail.com
Jim Kulbacki from Lake Orion, MI, USA Wed Mar 29 03:35:29 CEST 2000

Hello. I have been on Ativan for four years and Klonopin before that for three years - a total of seven years. I am in the process of completing a long and natural tapering down. The Ativan was used to get me off the Klonopin. The benzos were prescribed for terrible anxiety / panic after a series of emotional shocks and undiagnosed thyroid disorder. The Ativan was prescribed "PRN" or take as needed. It was interesting that, though I had tapered down to one Klonopin, I slowly needed more Ativan on a regular schedule or I would feel anxious until I was up to 6 mg per day. Now I think I understand what was happening - I was becoming a prisoner. Concerned about the sleepiness and fogginess that resulted from the Ativan, I began tapering (for simplicity I will use as an example the taper from 3 mg to 1.5 mg but know it is also how I got from 6 mg to 3 mg) from 3 mg per day (1 mg 3 x daily), not by dropping a pill but rather by cutting 1 mg tablets in half (with a pill cutter) and taking 1/2 a pill exactly every six hours (yep, even set the alarm at night)for about a week. This effectively reduced my dose to 2 mg. per day - but more consistantly in my system. I had minimal withdrawal. Then when I felt comfortable (so to speak) at the 2 mg level, my supportive doc represcribed the Ativan at the smaller dose of .5 mg 4 x daily - still 2 mg total for a three weeks or a month. Next I dropped the tablet I took in the middle of the night. Now I was down from 3 mg to 1.5 mg total daily - dose cut in half with minimal discomfort. A drop by half is fairly substantial and I planned to give my body three months at the 1.5 mg level before dropping again However, my Dad died then so I stayed at this dose for a year. Now because I am sick of taking Ativan I am beginning the process of going off completely. I wanted to tell you about the tablet cutting technique because I suffered so minimally that way. My MD says when they say slowly taper off they mean slowly - this to avoid shocking the brain chemistry. Just because the company offers Ativan tablets at certain doses doesn't mean you can't cut them up and taper more slowly. Work with your doctor on this - it worked marvelously for me. Now I am undertaking going off Ativan completely. But this time, because I'm so sick of the years spent, I have just gone ahead and dropped the afternoon tablet. I am experiencing more of the symptoms you are all talking about but I'll tough it out. However, I also will stay at this dose for a month at least before dropping the dose again. Who knows? Maybe I'll drop a pill or tablet-cut my way down again. Tablet cutting made me feel in control of the Ativan not the reverse. I do know it works to do this slowly. Will let you know. By the way, I find Oatstraw herbal tea (the stems from oatmeal) a big assist - I'm not kidding. It is very relaxing and definately takes the edge off - more than chamomile - and has no side effects. Tastes like your lawn but add a bit of honey. You can find it in a health food store. I also find God's answer to anxiety helpful: thankfulness. Count your blessings. Yep, count 'em every day. Beginning to name all that is right each day and thanking Him is a powerful tool. I hope this helps someone.
Irm (short for IRMad) , USA Thu Mar 30 02:40:55 CEST 2000

Hi, I have successfully come off ativan and have been off for 5 and 1/2 months. I was put on ativan(lorazapam) 6 years ago when my husband became ill. I remained on it after he died. After 5 years on I decided to come off. I stopped one .5 mg tab. My body and mind went crazy. It took 4 months just to find help. I tapered for 6 months, The most horrible nightmare I have ever experienced. Finally after about 4 months off my whole life has changed for the better. All my neurlological, CNS, muscle damage, etc are gone. The symptoms were relentless but have gone one by one. I found most of my help here on the internet and found a team to work with me. Naturalpathic Dr., acupuncturist, addiction therapist etc. I truly never thought I would be well again, but here I am living a happy normal life. You can too, by finding help and support.
Sheila7895@aol.com
Sheila , USA Tue Mar 28 17:27:38 CEST 2000

Hello all. Four months ago I had to go into a treatment center where I stopped taking Klonopin with no tapering down. I did not sleep for 6 days during which I had the most horrible time Of my life. I didn't think it would be such a big deal. During these 6 days I had Horrible panic, Anxiety, no sleep, fear, memory loss,Aches in my my muscles and bones, back pain disableing.My spine has now changed shape. Terror constantly. On the 6th day I had a siezure bad enough to where I couldn't remember the year, The president, I was in bad shape and in detox. After four days of induced non benzo sleep I was discharged to continue treatment with 90 others. Horror. I could barely sleep but got accustomed to being totally miserable. I was discharged after 60 days thinking I would be better off in a more serene surrounding which I now have. Still having panic and anxiety terribly. After a bad night yet again to ruin my day I figured it was again time to see a doctor , when what All I was doing was not working after yet another night of panic I got dressed and walked to the doctor two miles away paranoid and weak. He suggested again Klonopin. I declined and suggested what my mother had had success with, as well as patients I had known intreatment. >Trazadone. He then prescribed that and two others for me to try. Seroquel and Remeron. with Trazadone I slept in a headache sort of sleep, with bad Jet lagged feel and groggy but was able to function similar to a day with four hours sleep which is NOT enough for me. As he suggested I then tried another if one did't work. Which was Remeron. I was up most of the night ,When I finally got to sleep again at about ten after cancelling all engagements , I could not wake up!!, So groggy and dizzy I could hardly speak. So the next night I tried The Seroquel. Which wasn't so bad but I am agitated and nauseous headache,and too many side effects again. Now I remember when I was on Ativan I was enthused to try SERZONE, which i did in combination with Ativan, I remember this to be my best time in life. I eventually stopped the Serzone and continued on Just ativan.,After changing doctors He suggested I get off the Ativan Which one day he just did, After tapering, We tried all sorts of things To no relief , ending up with a combination of Paxil and Klonopin, After four years of this I changed doctors again after moving to L.A. This doctor Encouraged Serzone with Klonopin Tapering which we did. I eventually stopped the Serzone due to Noticeable stomach and digestion toxicity association. But remember my state of mind and overall well bieng to be good, with success in my career. Which leads me to Treatment and now. My current doctor is suggesting Klonopin .I need some help making this descision which I need to make very soon like within days.I have actually taken a half 1 mg of Klonopin on desperate occaision scared to become dependant again. But when I had only two left Went to doctor again. My idea is that I have it sparingly controlled maybe 10 for the month or less in emergency while the correct , found desired medication takes the propper effect. Maybe I need a combination of two medications.I need some educated suggestions please Thank YOU for your HELP.Kelly
Kelly K from Northridge, CA, USA Mon Mar 20 02:47:03 CET 2000

This is an interesting area, what I have found astounding is that the medical community has been quite aware as well as the Drug Companies of the life changeing and extremely dangerous and adictiveness of all Benzodiazepines for several decades. The ignorance of the average MD in the 70's paved the road for the Valium Highway, was at that time the most prescribed drug in North America and as a health professional in the Mental Health field I saw so numerous of cases of addiction I was apalled, but it's not much different than the local Pusher, as you take any of these so called "minor tranquillizers", the suply and demand principle takes over, I have known people to take 250 mgs of Valium in one dose, there threshold had increased that much, I wouldn't have believed it untill I became dependant myself. It was very easy, The horrible witness of a best friends suicide, Post traumatic stress causing horrible Insomnia Nightmares and anxiety and I developed into a 10 mg 4 time a day user, I did not get "high", I was not takeing these drugs for pleasure but instead for survival, when I finally demanded to be taken off these after 2 years I thought I would go crazy, I felt as if my life was over, the anxiety, sweating, insomnia, was incredible, my wife was terrified, On return to the local Doctor I was given Ativan to take twice a day, was considered by him to be a milder form of Benzo and easier to break away from, I learned after several years of trying what my own clients had been going through, withdrawl was incredible, I had been reduced from a Verile athlete, talented in many sports and a coach and activist in my community to a reclusive anxiety wridden mess, my Doctor you see as many had in the early 90's began to see the affects of long term Benzo use and cut me off cold turkey, It was the most painfull thing I ever went through, Ativan withdrawl is truely horrible. Through this all, I being a helth care professional had consulted many support groups and did my research, I was getting angrier as time went by I wanted answers, I wanted to feel better, thank God now I do, with the help of a couple of truly learned young Doctors who knew there Pharmacology I started on Prozac, slowly reduced my ativan, changed to Paxil from the Prozac because the side affects were less, reduced my anxiety with Paxil greatly, my sleep improved in time, it is also great for OCD and Depression and everyone should not deny the fact that depression and drug dependance go hand in hand, many people hit the bottle to try and get off Benzos, then the withdrawl from the bews requires the individual to go back on the tranks for relief. Well I feel much better as a man in my 30's should and I have an aunt who has quit the same way so keep tryin and don't give up hope, every day isn't always bright for me but most aren't bad, you all take care an I wish you the best...
jagpill@hotmail.com
Sterling , Canada Mon Mar 27 15:02:07 CEST 2000

I just started taking Serzone a couple months ago, after being on Klonipin, or before that Xanax, and probably every other medication possible for the treatment of my panic attacks and depression. I was never depressed before I started on the benzodiazapiens, and had never contemplated suicide as much as I had been recently. I finally went to a new doctor who prescribed the Serzone. Even though I'm only on 100mgs a day, which is not even a recommended low dosage, it's completely ended my anxiety, my anticipation of everything, and is already helping with my depression. I never withdrew from the klonipin (or clonazam which worked better for me), but it's still there if I ever feel the need to take it. I don't feel numb like I did on the other meds, and for the first time in so long, I feel like myself again, not a drug addict feaning for my next fix of Klonopin. I'm 24, a single mom, and I'm so hopeful this will help for the long term. The idea of having to be on something forever has never appealed to me, but if I've finally found something that helps me like this does, and will help me face the fears that caused my panic attacks, then maybe I won't have to be on it that long. I'd never even heard of Serzone before I went to see him, and I'm wondering if anyone else has either. Anyway, good luck to you all. I'd love some feed back on anyone else on Serzone if you have it. -- thanks, Joanna ps, this is my first time here, and I plan to visit it often..
Keatingjnn@aol.com
Joanna from New Rochelle, NY, USA Sat Mar 18 00:03:49 CET 2000

After 8 years on 2mg of Klonopin for anxiety, I decided to stop....and went the cold turkey method, had no idea what I had been taking for all those years and blew my brains out. Nothing had ever prepared me for the following 5 years of a roller coaster ride,a ride from hell and back. I spend time in a Detox Center, a place I only knew from movies, 3 months as a guinea pig in a Psych ward, 6 weeks in a Treatment Center for Women and a couple of other hospital stays. All because no one recognized the benzo withdrawal, instead blamed it all on me and my personality?? The pain of the withdrawal symptoms became intolerable and I relapsed 2 more times. Family and friends became increasingly frustrated with me, so one after another stopped calling me or stopped by to see me. Suicide had become my daily companion and I sought frantically a way out of this mess. I turned to the Internet, in the hope of finding somebody, somewhere, with who I could indentify my problems and I was shocked and relieved both at the same time to find them all over the world. I am now almost 3 years in recovery, still experiencing lingering symptoms. Because of this torturous ordeal and the ignorant responses from the medical profession, I decided to look into this problem some more and so began my journey thru benzoland. I'm impressed with all the work that has been done around the world, all the wonderful Websites and people I have met. We've made a TV documentary here in Vancouver, radioshows, newspaper articles, started a research group and a selfhelp Benzo supportgroup for women. Hopefully we'll have an all men's group soon as well. For anyone interested, we also have an excellent little book available: The Accidental Addict, imported from Australia, where it is now unfortunately out of print and unavailable in bookstores and librairies. As you all know so well, taking benzos longterm can cause addiction, chronic ill health and emotional anguish. This book will assist anyone in withdrawal,offering support, hope and encouragement. It also gives a full and accurate description of the withdrawal symptoms and personal stories of recovery. We were so impressed by this book, we had the last lot shipped out to us, so all our members could get a copy. The price is very reasonable and we do ship them all over. You can contact me at jalbulet@direct.ca With help, guidance and support from people at the supportgroups, the many Websites like this one with all the necessary information, you can beat this benzo addiction, even if you have relapsed several times. I don't believe there is anything more difficult than this, but again, you can do it!! I have and I'm not one of the most bravest. Madelon
jalbulet@direct.ca
Madelon Albulet from Vancouver, BC, Canada Mon Mar 13 06:54:27 CET 2000

Hello, I havn't seen any new posts for a few days. I hope everyone is doing well. I have found a MD that is going to help me to slowly tapper off of the Klonipin. One day I did miss a dose, and found my self very sick the next day. It all went away within about 2 hours of taking my Klonipin. So I have learned that there is no slow way off this stuff. My stomach is the most affected. Any ideas out there for stomache problems? Thanks, Stacie
Stacie800@aol.com
Stacie , USA Sun Mar 12 06:17:10 CET 2000

Hello, After my father died of a heart attack in Aug last year, I started having extreme panic attacks, I thought I was going to implode, I was extemely angry and sought counsling, with didn't do much for me. So I went to my family doctor who put me on Ativan, which gave me headaches. ThenI was put on Xanax .25 mg 3 x a day which did nothing! He than put me on prozac 40 mg a day. My panic attacks seemed to increase so He increased my Xanax to 1 mg 3 x a day or when needed. My Husband went in for surgery last Friday...I went into a frenzy "what if..." I contacted my Dr. and he increased the Xanax to 2mg 3x a day. I started having the shakes...so he changed my prcription to tranxene. Which seems to do nothing. I don't know what to do ...I'm afraid to go back to my doctor for fear he will think I need to be commited. Please someone respond to my dilemna. Am I going crazy...?? I feel like it sometimes...like a caged animal.Oh did I mention I have 2 small children, which would drive anybody nuts... oh my mother commited suicide when was 9 yrs old. I am 38yrs now. please someone respond Thank you.
Smithisle@aol.com
SSmith from Bath, OH, USA Thu Mar 9 01:34:48 CET 2000

(short version) I have been taking benzos for over 30 years (1967) since my first panic attack in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel in mid-summer. The rest of that summer I had about 10 panic attacks a day and sought medical help. I did not realize that the medical community then knew less about panic attacks and their treatment than I did (which was nil) When all the tests were done, the docs found I was just a healthy 19 year old male with anxiety attacks but all they chose to treat was the symptoms. I was given valium (10 mg 4 x day) until 1980 then was switched to Ativan 2 mg 3 x day when my shrink read an article that valium was addictive . I have had panic disorder for the past 33 years, in the early 1970's I spent time a facility more suited to treat alchoholics and depression (even received shock therapy just to give you an idea how desperate I was and how naieve the medical community was in treatment of anxiety). While I have been taking the same dosage of Ativan for over 20 years and I have come to regard panic attacks more of an annoyance (except when they are occuring ), I realize that being on Ativan regardless of how long is not the way I want to live any more. (But withdrawal scares me to death, no pun intended. Can one of posters who have succesfully gotten off benzos, specifically Ativan, post exactly how you did it, and still maintained some semblence of earning a living and keeping a home and family? Many thanks in advance...I enjoyed reading the postings immensely. Rich
haynes@hicom.net
Rich , NJ, USA Sun Mar 5 18:05:18 CET 2000

in my third week of ativan wd. down from 4mg a day to 3 mg a day. haven't felt rear bad yet. when will wd start to be rerally bad? what have i got to look forward to. jim
JKee4312@aol.com
James Keeling , USA Fri Mar 3 18:10:41 CET 2000

I became addicted to benodiazepines 10 yrs ago. First with xanax than In 1995 I was put on 4mgs of ativan a day by a pyschiatrist. When my insurance changed in 1997 I switched to another doctor who adamently refused to refill my ativan on a Friday evening. By MOnday morning after 2 sleepless, frantic nights I went into seizure and was crawling on the floor when the EMTS arrived. I had taken 2 bloodpressure pills that morning because I was feeling so desperate. when I got to the ER my B\P was 220\110. I surely would have had a stroke had I not been on B\p meds. I have since been to NA. Ive been told that in dealing the benzo addiction one is now dealing with a medical conditon so difficult to withdraw from that some docs will keep thier patients on it for life, Im not trying to scare anyone. You don't have to print this but I hope you will. I still need and want help. ParBrady
ParBrady
PEGGY from Sarasota, FL, USA Fri Mar 3 00:45:46 CET 2000

Having an addiction to ativan , I attend AA / NA meetings for support but would rather meet w/ other benzo addicted people in the Central New Jersey area for support because of the strange and unique withdrawals from these drugs. I think it would be very helpful to alot of people to be able to get support in person from those going through this and especially from those who Made it through withdrawals...Anyone in New Jersey know of or would like to start a Benzo Support Group ,Please post it or let me know ...Thanks ...Robert
ras6431@aol.com
Robert , NJ, USA Wed Mar 1 22:39:27 CET 2000

Giong into my second stage of my schedule to kick ativan after 6 years. Anything that will hepl ease the WD symtoms will be much apperciated. Thanks
JKee4312@aol.com
James Keeling , USA Wed Mar 1 03:53:12 CET 2000
none

I was wondering if anyone on xanax has noticed any side effects in long term use. I take 3 mg per day currently for an equilibrium condition but i am afraid of the harm it may have on the body organs. I wish i did not have to take it but without it i feel like i am on shaky ground and my entire body seems to stiffen up. Pleas respond to me if you have any of my symptoms or if you want to talk about xanax. Mike in Albuquerue. mmmaes@msn.com
mmmaes@msn.com
Mike Maes from Albuquerque, NM, USA Wed Mar 1 08:37:04 CET 2000

Hello again, Are there other forums of discussion on this very interesting site regarding benzos? Thanks
squiggle@sympatico.ca
Irene Mazis from Montreal, PQ, CANADA Tue Feb 29 14:40:07 CET 2000

I was very happy to find this web site. Last week I tried to go off of Klonipin after being on it for almost 3 years. I suffered horrible withdrawl symtoms. I ended up in the emergency room. The ER Dr. was not very understanding, and gave me some ativan and a script for 10 more klonipin with instructions on how to tapper off gradulaly. I am not sure that ten days is enough time. I have never been that sick. I am very scared that in 10 days I am going to be very sick. Hopefully I can make it through the withdrawl. I was wondering if anyone has taken something else to get off of klonipin. Also is there a different type of drug that would help the pysical hell, but not be addictive. Thanks.
Stacie800@aol.com
Stacie , NV, USA Tue Feb 29 03:53:51 CET 2000

geez louise, Devopled depression 5 years ago, the psy wouldn't give me anthing for releif but also nothing was working and I was a first time at 40. I changed doctors and be prescribe serzone , it was a miracle. Then three years later headaches arrive, he gave me pain pills and klonipin. Well it has taken 7 months to get off the pain pill and I am starting on getting off the klonipin. By the way I am a addict and had been clean over 11 years before all the stuff, which I did start to abuse. But anyway I have been tying to get clean and have even had to resort to meth. I have been thru hell but I will make it.
butchf
james fixher , USA Mon Feb 28 01:59:11 CET 2000

Wow! This site has certainly scared me! I just began taking .5mg Xanax/day to help me deal with my Tinnitus. I was just looking up dosage information when I found your this site. Although I thought I understood the risk of addiction, I had not realized the true impact. I never imagined that a drug could because physical reactions months to years after total withdraw. And the topper is that withdraw may INCREASE Tinnitus! I developed severe Tinnutus in January and learned that many people are taking Xanax to help cope and "reduce" the level of the noise. I now know that it may also be INCREASING the Tinnitus between pills - "What a curse!" I've taken the .5mg/day dose for three days now and will stop NOW! Any other's with Tinnitus have any less-adicting drug treatments? I'm mainly looking for releif in the evenings. Please email me at jim_o_keefe@hotmail.com Jim O'Keefe
jim_o_keefe
Jim O'Keefe from New Monmouth, NJ, USA Sat Feb 26 05:13:33 CET 2000

Am taking 4 mg atinav a day and am on a schedule to withdraw completely. Where can I get support and advice to help me with my efforts. I am 70 years old and have been taking ativan for 7 years.
JKee4312@aol.com
James Keeling from Bakersfield, CA, USA Sun Feb 27 21:32:54 CET 2000
none

For those suffering from the LEGAL DRUG LORD's..drugs known as Benzodiasines...there are a couple of books out that may be helpful in dealing with and understanding the strange withdrawal process of these drugs one is "Free Yourself from Tranquilizers and Sleeping Pills" by Shirley Trickett....another is " Caffeine Blues " by Stephen Cherniske...and another is " Dealing With Depression ,Naturally " by Syd Baumel.....I found these books to be helpful..Great to find this websight..I guess we're not alone in this ...Good luck everyone
ras6431@aol.com
Robert from middlesex, NJ, USA Sun Feb 27 18:40:23 CET 2000

i am seeking info on detoxing at home from hydrocodone and cant sleep jumpy sweating hot and cold tight skin feeling i need advise i have no insurance please lokk out for me dazzle13@gte.net
dazzle13@gte.net
brandy love from holiday , fl, USA Sun Feb 27 08:57:14 CET 2000
not yet

What a wonderful site! I was prescribed Xanax and Effexor around 5 years ago shortly after the death of my father for anxiety. Even before he passed away of lung cancer, I was experiencing symptoms similar to his. I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with panic disorder. I was a really "good" patient and took my medication as prescribed. After I fell asleep at the wheel of the car I was driving at work, I decided to stop the Effexor. Then about a month later I stopped taking the xanax, with my doctor's blessing. I was okay for around three months and began experiencing horrific panic, derealization, etc. My doctor then told me I still had the panic disorder and that I was chemically imbalanced. I took Klonopin for a short period of time and still did not stablize. I was then put back on xanax (at a higher dose than I was orignially) and the ensuing nightmare began. I never felt well. I was always anxious. I had derealization and depersonalization, severe tinnitus and just many, many other symptoms. I was convinced that I had some unknown disease and was constantly going from one doctor to the next, only to be told that I was physically healthy. Last year I became suicidal and at my daughter's urging began to become educated about benzodiazepines. What an education! I have tapered my dose down from 5mg. to just a little over .25mg. currently. I have suffered like a witch being burned at the stake but am now beginning to feel better. I am thinking more clearly, the derealization and depersonalization is gone and I remain optimistic about my future. My doctor knows I have been tapering and the last time I saw him, I informed him of this and now he thinks I'm manic! When will some of these physicians get a clue? My prayers are with anyone who ever has to go what I've been through. One thing is for certain - it has made me a stronger person and I have learned to take care of my body and my mind without the "help" of well-meaning doctors and their endless drug stores!
YDay548715@aol.com
Yvonne from Columbus, OH, USA Tue Feb 22 22:35:42 CET 2000

I have been addicted to the Valium family of prescription pills called benzos,At present a am free of these horrible pills,after a twenty year addiction.If any of those wanting help and support to get off please visit my site at,click here,. http://www.geocities.com/Eureka/Network/1140 .also click here at . WWW.benzo@onelist.com If the address is not highligted,please type in the address on your computer, Regards Bill Hermanski
BILLHERMANSKI@msn.com
BILL HERMANSKI from San Diego, california, USA Tue Feb 22 07:11:21 CET 2000

I thought I would share my benzo experiences because I think in some respects my situation/usage was a bit different from most. I was initially prescribed Ativan (lorazepam) following the death of my husband for grief. I was told I could take up to 1.5 mg a day (.5mg x3) as needed. I took this in as needed over a period of about a month and went off without any ill effects. A year later my son was admitted to a drug treatment facility and I had my first panick attack. I returned to the doctor who put me on Ativan again and Zoloft. I took this combination for a couple of months and again went off the meds with no ill effects. My life went on normally for over a two year period with no drugs and no panic, etc. Then out of the blue I began having anxiety and panic attacks again and was put back on the medication. It appeared that the Ativan didn't work in the same way it had the first couple of times. I remember at that point having burning in my extremeties and feeling unstable or slightly dizzy when I was standing. I was also extremely tired. However, once again I went off the Ativan within a couple of months with no major withdrawal. The last time I started taking Ativan was appx. a year ago. I was having generalized anxiety and was fearful of panic attacks. The doc once again prescribed .5mg up to 3x a day. I generally only took .5mg at first, maybe one more dose on really "bad" days. But then I started feeling ill- I got muscle aches, fatigue, increased anxiety, derealization, headaches, to name a few symptoms. I thought something was seriously wrong with me- I was tested over a period of several months for thyroid, diabetes, anemia, arthritis, and at the height of my w/d symptoms MS. I literally thought I was dying, I felt so ill. Because I was feeling sicker I had "upped" my dose of Ativan at times to a maximum dose of 1.5 mg. Which, unbeknown to me only made me sicker. Quite by accident (my prescription was almost empty) I had cut my dose back on the Ativan and felt a bit better. That is when I got on the internet and started researching these drugs. I found the benzo ring and was AMAZED and RELIEVED that my symptoms appeared to be related to the drug I was taking and not something else. I joined the Ring, benzonelist and benzo problems board and began learning how others had handled getting off these drugs. Everyday I referred to the insight and knowledge of others to help myself become benzo free. I began tapering my drug on my own. And when I went to my physician for a followup for an MRI to see if I had MS I informed HIM that I was reacting to the benzo's. He assured me that since I was taking such a low dose that I could come off of them rather quickly-but I knew how sick I had been and how others had warned me in the group about coming off of the too fast. Because my dose was not too high, I was able to taper myself without the help of a doctor. I stuck with a relatively slow taper. Today, I am benzo free 22 days!. As I got to the end of my taper I began to feel better and better. Everyday seems to be better in one way or another. Although I still have some symptoms, they are relatively mild and diminishing all the time. Only 3 weeks later I feel like a new person and life is good again! Please feel free to email me if you have any questions about my experience.
Shelly39WA@aol.com
Shelly from Snohomish, WA, USA Tue Feb 22 14:48:41 CET 2000

Well what can I say except, I wish I never,ever started taking these demon awful pills. Yes, they are useful for extreme measures, but not to live a full happy life! You turn into someone you don't know anymore and the depression is so hard to fight. The more you take, or continue to take, the deeper the depression. I think people have to learn to deal with real, raw emotions. Isn't that just part of life. I will start my taper right after my surgery and recovery and try to never look back on these pills again. They will never, ever take over my life and my families lives again! Jenny
jenny116@home.com
Jennifer Brown from Torotoronto, canada Tue Feb 22 01:53:42 CET 2000

Hi, I'm new. I am very impressed by the British perspective on benzodiazepines. I think they have done much damage to my life, and I didn't even realize that the cause of my panic attacks (sans Synthroid troubles when dose was high) were the benzos themselves. The withdrawal symptoms mimic the disease. In my darker moments I have wondered if the pharmaceutical companies are not aware of this. Would like to hear your views. Squigg
squiggle@sympatico.ca
Irene Mazis from Montreal, QPQ, CANADA Sun Feb 20 22:11:09 CET 2000

I have been taking Xanax 1.5mg daily for 5 years. I ran out of my meds on Friday and can not get it refilled until next Friday, therefore I am going through withdrawls as I write this. It is now Sunday morning and my hands are shaking real bad and I can't think very clear. (please excuse any grammar errors). I am very scared of the next couple of days.
athena32_2000@yahoo.com
linda from huntsville, al, USA Sun Feb 20 15:18:29 CET 2000

I feel bad for everyone here who have had bad experiences with benzos. I have kept a bottle of ativan as a psychological "crutch" for a while and am grateful for the relief it has given me, just knowing it's there for times of extreme stress. I've always been aware of the dependence potential of benzos, however I'm happy they exist. If you use these drugs, or any drug, you must educate yourself and use you OWN judgement, not just rely on the word of a doctor or any other authority. I think this blind trust is where so many of you go wrong. For the same reason, you must take some of the responsibility for the mess you've got yourselves into. I know that sounds cruel and I apologize in advance. Unfortunately, I've run into doctors who have now adopted the "benzos as devil's work" attitude and it's truly turned them into hysterics. The danger and tragedy is that responsible people who can use these drug safely may soon not be able to get them. I know I'm not really on the bandwagon of this site, but I hope you give some consideration to this.
huntsbox@pacbell.net
Hunt Stoddard from Saratoga, CA, USA Tue Feb 15 07:59:54 CET 2000

Hello, REALLY glad I found this site. I am beginning my third withdrawal from klonopin, been taking since 1988. A vicious drug, I too am mad as hell, but first I want to get my brain and my body back. I have been tapering for 3 months and experience withdrawal even while tapering. I am looking for e-mail support and info from people who have "been there". And.....if you know of any support groups who can help with this, especially in the Detroit, Michigan area, do let me know. Thanks so much. Barb
Moriahby12@aol.com
Barbara from Warren, MI, USA Mon Feb 14 00:05:10 CET 2000

I don't find the side effects of benzo's that bad. It sort of feels like you have a hangover after drinking but they are really good. I was on 2mg of clonazepam for nocturnal panic attacks that would happen during dreaming; before the meds I would wake up gasping for breath and have to get up and sit on a couch and then go back to bed to have the same thing happen again. I probably got two hours sleep a night, but I suffered a bladder injury a year ago and have changed to Valium as it relaxes the bladder. The worst drug that probably caused this panic disorder was Anafranil, the worst drug. Used to treat Obsessive Compulsive disorder. Some of the things that bother me about the meds are the short term memory loss, and feeling of sleepiness during the day. But its better than having physical illness in the future because of Panic Disorder. I have noticed no dependence to the benzos. Anti depressants I don't like at all though.
pellegrini.1@osu.edu
Jesse Pellegrini from Columbus, OH, USA Sat Jan 22 05:12:26 CET 2000

I don't know if Lexotanil is a benzodiazepine.I am 21 years old and I take approximately 4 pils a day without the perscription of a doctor.I take them from my father. I don't even now if they help me or not.
Irini Fri Jan 21 11:08:41 CET 2000

A few comments regarding postings by Bob R. (Jan 15) and Psychopax from Vienna (Jan 10). It is common knowledge among actors that 'stagefright' symptoms are effectiely counteracted with a medication that is normallly used to treat high heart rate--the name of the medication escapes me at the moment. One takes this an hour before performances. Apparently, it helps to block the positive feedback loop between anxiety and rapid pulse, which spirals out of control. Perhaps this medication can also be used for a more generalized 'stagefright' and/or social phobia. The medication is used in small amounts and is quite safe. Pslychopax from Vienna: I don't know what seroxtat is, but for depression various medications such as prozac, wellbutrin, etc. are often effective and are much safer than benzos.
Ed from boston, USA Mon Jan 17 05:10:37 CET 2000

I came upon this sight totally by accident and found it very enlightening. I have suffered from "stagefright" all my life and was given all kinds of medications from Valium first, then Librium. I was then put on Ativan which I have been taking for over 25 years. It is the only medication that helps me but I thought I would try getting away from the Ativan because of what I had been hearing and so the doctors put me on clonazepam 0.5 mgs and have increased it slowly while decreasing Ativan from my usual 11 mgs down to 2mgs within one month. I have not suffered any kind of withdrawal symptoms except a bit of anxiety with the clonazepam. I am going back on the Ativan solely but find I can face the world in performance with only 3 mgs. Doctors are amazed at my lack of withdrawal symptoms, etc. so I facetiously told them I must be a medicinal anomaly. I don't encourage anyone taking medicines that disturb them but when a medicine helps one face life without any terrible physical or mental problems..what can I say? Best of all good things to those who are suffering.
Bob R. , USA Sat Jan 15 00:13:56 CET 2000

This is a very good site which shows about any aspect of benzodiazepines. Though, I am still searching for my baby blue peace because I suffer from severe social phoby, anxiety and depression. I am getting Paroxetine (Seroxat) against depression but it doesn't help me except I'm a little bit more awake and can hardly ejaculate. I've tried Valium, and it took away about ALL my problems, I had no more anxiety, I came to know more nice people and got a girlfriend and so my depression lowered, too. I also had had bad problems in school because I hardly could talk without uttering and sweating. Now, as my mother has taken me away tha Valium and we moved, and the other doctor won't give me a new prescription, I have all the problems again. I tried Atarax which a psychiatrist prescribed me, but it didnt work at all, even if given in high doses. So, that's my story. PLEASE HELP ME! Sorry if I have grammatical mistakes. Pax vobiscum
al.RIPper.fido.freak@aon.at
Psychopax from Vienna, Austria Mon Jan 10 13:57:18 CET 2000
www.geocities.com/alanoid/

Tue Jan 11 16:22:44 CET 2000

I would like to understand why I have been on xanax .25 4x a day, and elavil .50mg per day for 3 years. I have weaned myself off and had no withdrawls from the xanax, but when I quit cold turkey with the elavil I attempted suicide. What I would like to convey is I know not everyone can take this medication and it's terrible side effects, there are some of us that somehow don't have many reactions. I will be here and available for anyone that may need help with "weaning" off. I also found durning one of the times during the weaning process that I was very unsure and scared I went to the e.r meet with the psychiatrist and instead of being rude or mean, he gave me 1mg of Ativan, told me never to have this in the house and only call a Dr. that understands how potent this is, so if you need help he or she will only call in 1 and then you must be seen again if you need more help. What I found was durning my post traumatic stress, and a terrifying accident that left me off work for 2 yrs. I am better and I know alot of you might not agree but it's because of Xanax and Elavil. Now the real problem I had with withdrawls was Soma, and this I now try to find anywhere for the muscle spasms I have when ever I stop taking it or run out. So I am here e-mail me if I can help at all. LD
SassyLD@aol.com
LaDawn from Beverly Hills, Ca, USA Mon Jan 10 20:02:14 CET 2000

I have been on Ativan for about a month now. They were perscribed for a hyper thyroid, seizures, and a mild stroke. I am only 28, and the medication is for only a short time. I was only perscribed 0.5mg x 4 times a day. Overall, I have done pretty good, but sometimes i'll skip a dose so I can take two at once. I'm also taking them with tylox (very seldom). My memory is getting, well, is terrible. Am I on my way to being where these others are? Or should I not worry about it because the mg's are so low. The only problem is, right now I need them for my condition which is temporary, I hope. But, I would love to take them more frequently. Good luck to you all.
heathandallie@att.net
allison from Tuscaloosa, Al, USA Thu Jan 6 04:21:13 CET 2000

I was on 60mg of Paxil and 4mg of Clonazepam when I lost my insurance which means no more prescriptions. I have had to wean myself off of all of these with in 10 days because thats all the medication I had left. The withdraw symptoms are horrible. I thought I was going crazy untill I came upon this sight. I now know there are others like me who share the same symptoms. Thank you so much. Cyndi
cyndi from Adell, WI, USA Wed Jan 5 01:57:43 CET 2000

I am having some double vision and insomnia ,the last 3 nights and dizziness. I am taking Ativan for anxiety and tried to go off of it before. How do I taper it? I take 1-2 milligrams at bedtime. I have been taking it periodically for 4-5 years and consistently for 1 1/2 years.My dr. said the same thing..you wouldn't tell a diabetic not to take their medication and that its ok to be on for the rest of your life. Usually I only take 1 milligram at night. I thought I would take 1/2 milligram at night and see. The insomnia was unbearable the last time I tried to go off this stuff. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
angel43057@juno.com
Sharon , USA Sun Jan 2 15:51:23 CET 2000

I have a disease called "Meniere's Disease with Otolithic Crisis of Tumarkin". It is an inner ear disease and I am afflicted in both ears. I take a diuretic and 15mg valium 3x a day to control my vertigo from my illness. It is becoming less and less effective, and when I try to stop taking it all hell breaks loose. My doctor, a prominent professor and the top of his field (otolaryngology) in wisconsin, says there is no alternative but benzos to keep my vertigo at bay. Meniere's Disease is not terminal but it is chronic. I am very concerned about addiction and I am finding it hard to stay at the recommended dose because it isn't as effective as it used to be. I started at 2mg 3x a day and they just keep upping my dosage - to shut me up I think, because nothing much else can be done for me. I am looking for information about maybe "cycling" the valium, or somehow reducing my impending and inevitable addiction. I have 2 choices it seems, be chronically ill and totally disabled, or be a benzo addict. I do not find either of those choices acceptable. I would appreciate any information on how to remain on benzos for long periods of time in such a way as to reduce likelyhood of addiction. Thank you.
steiiabiue@aol.com
Kris from Milwaukee, WI, USA Sun Jan 2 20:11:02 CET 2000

Dag mensen, Hier een bericht uit Nederland. Ik hoop dat iemand dit kan begrijpen, maar ik heb even geen zin om in het Engels te schrijven. Wat mij voornamelijk opvalt als ik de reacties lees over benzodiazepins, is dat ze zo overtrokken zijn. Wat veel mensen schijnen te vergeten, is dat je als patient ZELF ook in de gaten kunt houden hoe het met je medicatieverloop gaat. Als je doorhebt dat je afhankelijk bent geworden van bijvoorbeeld Xanax, dan lijkt het mij eenvoudig om daar structureel iets aan te doen. Ik weet waar ik het over heb, want ik heb jarenlang Lexotanil gebruikt en ben daar van de een op de andere dag mee gestopt, gewoon omdat ik dat zelf wilde. Het is belangrijk je te realiseren dat LICHAMELIJKE afhankelijkheid heel erg zeldzaam is bij benzodiazepines. Het is voornamelijk GEESTELIJKE afhankelijkheid die de meeste mensen de das om doen. Nu even wat anders. Ik lees ontzettend veel over Xanax en Clonazepam. Nou, dan noem je ook meteen de meest agressieve benzo's die er bestaan zeg. Er zijn genoeg alternatieven. Een middel als Tranxene of Unakalm is veel en veel minder heftig dan de eerder genoemde twee middelen. Xanax zou ik maar reserveren voor mensen die gehospitaliseerd zijn en niet voor ambulant gebruik. Voor clonazepam geldt een totaal ander verhaal. Deze benzo is ontwikkeld vanwege haar anticonvulsieve effecten. Het heeft ook in hogere doseringen angst-werende effecten, maar officieel is het middel NIET bedoeld voor angststoornissen. Het beste medicinale alternatief voor de benzodiazepinen zijn de SSRI's. Met name Seroxat is een heel goed veilig middel. Het duurt wel zes weken voordat het effect merkbaar is, maar je hebt er WEL de rest van je leven profijt van. Nu stop ik even. Als je meer wilt weten, ik heb medicijnen gestudeerd, mail met gerust met al je vragen. Groeten en veel succes met alles en bovendien een goed 2000 toegewenst. Dejan den Hertog
d.den.hertog@schoevers.nl
dejan den hertog from den haag, holland Fri Dec 31 13:31:34 CET 1999

wow. so glad to find this site... we have to know that WE CAN DO IT!! though the medical community may not support us (how did some of those folks get certified in prescribing these crazy drugs?) and others may not understand, we really owe it to ourselves to be healthy, physically and emotionally. i've was on ativan for nearly a year for panic attacks and have been off the stuff for about 10 days now. i have a vestibular problem (vertigo 24/7) which makes things worse in terms of not always being able to drive, shop, etc etc. though the ativan can work as a vestibular suppressant, i started getting muscle spasms and other bizzarre side effects and decided to get off the stuff. at present, i have some nasty insomnia, muscle twitches, and an electric feeling throughout my body. they frighten me and i want to run to a neurologist asap even though i've read quite a bit on benzo side effects and realize all of the above may be just that. reading the posts here is reassuring.
keand@gfc.state.fl.us
dawn from tallahassee, FL, USA Tue Dec 21 15:29:57 CET 1999

How do I get to share my experiences with you (re:benzo's)
Nuttynettie
Lyn O'Leary from Sydney, NSW, AUSTRAILIA Sat Dec 11 07:51:19 CET 1999
2/7-11 Hampden Street Beverly Hills

I would like to know if alprazolam causes any side-effects like dizziness, strange feelings of "being someone else", feeling of being "disconnected", vertigo, fatigue, or any other related symptoms. Currently on a dose of 0.5 mg/per day. Do contact me. aswatthama
aswatthama@mailcity.com
aswatthama from bangalore, india Fri Dec 17 15:12:59 CET 1999
-na-

Benzodiazepines OUGHT to be re-classified! I'm a Klonopin addict (10 a day, using alcohol to try to quit the fucking benzo) and facing detox - as IF I need/want THAT sort of bullshit again (almost o.d'd on trazadone). I don't know WHY doctors won't work w/us and our unique physio-chemistry; we end up being pharmacological guinea pigs, then addicts when all we need is compassion and decent supervision. I'm so angry, frightened and addicted. I am relieved -- SO relieved, to know I am not the only one. God Bless ALL of you, for sharing, for your strength.
windspank@hotmail.com
Amy Bonomo from Boca Raton, FL, USA Tue Dec 7 08:44:34 CET 1999

I am a psychatrist and a clinical program administrator. I have been angry for years about the grotesque over-prescribing of this class of drug by the medical industry. Xanax is undoubtedly the worst. I suspect it causes permanent damage to people's ability to soothe themselves. Let's see if that research ever gets funded! Corporate greed, blah, blah, blah. Hey, I am very glad this site exists and that you people are taking care of each other!
shrink@gorge.net
peter davidson, USA Fri Nov 5 00:29:50 CET 1999

I have been taking a low dose of clonazepam (.25 mgs.) for, I believe, two years. While I do have anxiety as part of Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome, a rheumatologist prescribed the medicine for Restless Leg Syndrome. I've been taking it at bedtime. I should mention that while I'm taking a low dose, I am highly sensitive to the effects of medication. A couple of times, I forgot a dose and experienced headache, sweating, shaking, and nausea. I did notice some improvement with respect to the spasms AND anxiety. However, over time, I developed a tolerance. The medicine no longer provides much help. I've decided to stop it. I am now taking amitriptyline and Serzone (antidepressants) for Fibromyalgia (though, with the PTSS, I experience depression, too). Last night, I cut my dose in half in an attempt to wean myself from the drug. I don't know how long I should stay at this level. It will be hard to cut it down further since the pill is small. I'm worried. As I said, I am highly sensitive. I have been severely agitated today. I don't know how I'll calm down tonight. Reading about withdrawal scares me so much that I'm sure it's adding to the anxiety. I would welcome any response.
eicheltower@hotmail.com
Stephanie, NJ, USA Thu Oct 28 05:38:45 CEST 1999

Hallo, I'm Dejan from Holland and I know a lot about benzodiazepines. At first a have to say that I see that a lot of people have got problems with Xanax and Clonazepam. I can tell that these are medications which you may only use for a very short time and in a very small dosage. After stopping slowly with these medications, you might try to use a SSRI, for example, paroxetine. I can tell that the panickalldiorders will stop as soon as possible after following this process of taking medications. When it's really necessary that you have to swallow a benzodiazepine for a long time, for a year for example, you'de better can take an other benzo than Xanax or clonazepam. Options are: chlorazepate and medazepam. These benzo's are not as 'agressive'as Xanax and Clonazepam. An other option is taking a long during sleeping pill before sleep, so you are a little bit sedative the next day. In Holland we mostly use flurazepam or nitrazepam. The best option of all is to take chloordiazepoxide 25 mg before sleeping, or ketazolam, 40 mg before sleeping. For questions, every body mail!!! Lot of greeting from Dejan
d.den.hertog@schoevers.nl
dejan den hertog from den haag, holland Thu Oct 28 12:21:54 CEST 1999
nvt

Hi!! I'm relly glad I found this site, know I know a lot abot it. And my schoolprojecty will be the best ever on drugs!!
mel_lis@mail.bip.net
Camilla Svensson from Haninge, Stockholm, Sweden Sat Oct 9 14:34:58 CEST 1999
I wish I had found out about this page a couple of years ago when I was going through Ativan withdrawl. I have been an addict of several drugs for many years.I have been through many types of withdrals with several different drugs. Ativan had to be the worst and longest drug withdrawl I had ever been through! If you ever decide to stop using Ativan I would highly reccommend you do very it slowly and with the help of a doctor. I still to this day abuse drugs. It's a problem I will deal with all my life. But one time of Ativan withdrawl and that was it for me. I will never take anykind of tranquilizer for the rest of my life unless Im lying in a hospital bed.
Drew@Sedona.net
Philip from Camp Verde, AZ, USA Sun Oct 17 07:06:52 CEST 1999
Hi, What a great site.Thankyou for being there for people like me,It's such a relief to be able to contact others who understand my suffering. I'm just so sad that so many people are suffering this hell.My name is Carol and I live in the UK. At present I am going through severe withdrawals. I was first given Opiate painkillers(Pethidine/Demerol) for pain and after a year became the opposite of my usual bubbly, jolly, extrovert self. The Dr said I was depressed and added Doxepin to the Opiate. 6mths later my hell began when I developed severe anxiety and panic attacks. The Dr said "too much Pethidine" and stopped it dead. Within 2 days I couldn't function so was sent to see a Psychiatrist who said it was anxiety and depression and for the following 4yrs prescribed 22 different types of mood-altering drugs including,Valium,Clobazam,Oxazepam,Stelazine,Melleril,Chloral Hydrate,Anafranil,Surmontil,Seroxat,Temazepam,Zopiclone,Nitrazepam,Prozac,Temgesic and others!! I attended a mental health day centre twice weekly and became suicidal so went into hospital as a voluntary patient. While there and on these drugs I developed this fear of mental illness especially Schizophrenia. I told my Psychiatrist this, he laughed and said"Don't be so silly, you are too old for it, you don't even have a family history of anxiety let alone that. I'm discharging you from my care, no more pills, go out and get a job that's what you need. It was an awful 10mths then I started to have the odd better hour but then disaster struck and I had to have an operation. I was in for 3 weeks and had Opiate injections several times a day. Two days after I came home all my symptoms came home all my symptoms came back, Panics, severe anxiety plus much more but the thing that scares me the most are the irrational repetitive fear thoughts, they are connected to my fear of Schizophrenia as one is "What if I hear voices?" and the other is "What if I think the TV or radio etc is talking to me?" Then I work myself up into a real panic.Part of me knows its silly and irrational but another part of me says "Yes, but what if?" It's a disgrace what Drs do to us with these awful pills. As well as the Internet group and this site I also get tremendous support and friendship from a wonderful Project here in the UK. It is called The Bristol and District Tranquilliser Project and was set up by a marvellous lady called Valerie Stevens who herself went through sheer hell whilst on and coming off Ativan. It is through here that I'd like to say thankyou so much to my saviours Val, Ian, Margaret, Dave, Roy, Babs, Tom, and Ann that myself and my darling husband Steve and our 3 children will be forever grateful for everything they have done and are still doing for us and others like us. We will never be able to repay them. I adore each and every one of them for they too have suffered this hell yet devote their time to helping others on a daily basis. I respect each one for their courage as I do all my fellow sufferers at the Project and around the world. I never thought that I would say that good has come out of my hell but if it wasn't for these drugs I would not have had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people and having such dear friends. Thankyou Val,my excellent ,patient counseller Ian and the gang for giving me and my family hope again. I see you have the Project on your contacts list,they are willing to help anyone and take calls from abroad and the States. They are at 42-44 Triangle West ,Clifton,Bristol. Please would you do us the kindness of adding our helpline number it is 0117-9349950(Mondays-Thursdays 10am-4pm). My best wishes to all of you out there whatever stage of withdrawal you are at. Thankyou so very much. Please feel free to put my story on your site. Best Wishes, Carol.
gigichard@netscapeonline.co.uk
Carol Packer, United Kingdom Sun Oct 17 21:24:13 CEST 1999
i am in the process of going through a multi drug withdrawal program including paxil, xanax, alprazolam, imovane flexril and you name it i am loking for others to help form a support group spycy@home.com
spycy@home.com
laurie, USA Mon Oct 18 02:15:05 CEST 1999
Hello, I'm Dejan and I'm so glad i found this web site. At first I have to make my compliments there is a site like this, because a lot of people with benzodiazepineproblems can write their experiences. I have to write a lot about benzodiazepines, because of experiences of myself and others. Dejan
d.den.hertog@schoevers.nl
dejan den hertog from den haag, holland Fri Oct 22 12:49:05 CEST 1999
I am now in the 3rd week of trying to cut down my valium intake. If my writing is not clear, I apologize. I have been taking the drug on and off for the past thirty years. I am now 47 years old, a computer professional, who has been using valium to cope with the everyday problems associated with both my home and work life. I did manage to quit valium quite successfully when I was 28 years old for a period of about 8 years, but not without serious psychological side effects that lasted a couple of years, weight loss mainly. My psychiatrist had told me at the time that the crawling skin, ringing in the ears, severe weight loss, insomnia were all signs of depression/anxiety and not the drug... I now know, from what I have read and previously experienced that the drug is the problem! Do not believe all of what the doctors say and/or prescribe. Most, I am quite sure, have not personally endured the pain and suffering of withdrawal symptoms and are not qualified to speak on the subject. I have cut my addiction from 40mg per day to 15-20mg in the past three weeks. Horrible pain! My wife and my son have both abandoned me to live this one out on my own. I don't like to bring my friends into this, but have talked to them, and they have given me some support. The rest of my family is 2500 miles away and are trying their best to help over the phone. I feel quite alone. But, having been down this road before, I know that if I can go the distance, I will be a completely new person, and will never touch this group of drugs again! My current GP and psychiatrist both are trying to get me to take every other antianxiety drug in the book (Paxil, Amitryptilene, Wellbutrin, Celexa, etc.), but I have had many side effects and have found that these drugs are very, very addicting as well. I am going to try some natural substances, like St. John's Wort and Kava Kava, to help me get through this. I don't have any prior experience, but am open to anything that is not addicting!! I would really like to hear if anyone has had any experience with natural remedies. Actually, I would like to hear from anyone who just wants to talk! Have had some pretty nasty nights recently! Could use any help... Sincerely, jc
jc@pcpros.com
John C from Vernon, CT, USA Fri Oct 22 16:38:48 CEST 1999
www.pcpros.com

Wow, I am so glad I found this site. I was prescribed xanax over 10 years ago for panic attacks. Unfortunately my Dr. told me that this medication would not become a problem in discontinuing. Plus he told me it was not an addictive medication. Well, I became addicted to it in a very short time. After only using it for a few months Xanax stopped working for me and I took more and more of it to control my panic attacks. I later learned why Xanax stops working for many people. It has a very short half life. It works fast then leaves your body fast. Xanax nearly took my life two years ago. I would be in withdrawal 3-4 hours after taking it. I would experience increased anxiety, shakiness and other nasty symptoms of I did not take more. This led to a vicious circle. I had no history of alcohol or drug abuse in my life and no family hustory. I tried to taper myself off of Xanax but the symptoms of withdrawal were to bad. Two years ago I entered a treatment center to detox off of Xanax. It was the worse hell I ever want to know. I did not know if it was night or day but I was put on phenobarbital to help me detox. I was shown how I could live without Xanax and my panic attacks were gone after getting off of Xanax. I truly believe that Xanax made my panic attacks worse over time. Today I am active in Narcotic's Anonymous and have helped other prescription addicts get off of pain meds and benzodiazepines. I want to make the Dr.s and drug companies aware of the high potencial of addiction to Xanax and other medications. If I had known that Xanax was so short acting I would never had taken it in the beginning. I would like to correspond with other Xanax survivors and hopefully together we help each others. I feel that Xanax should be taken off the market. Treatment centers are full of Xanax victims. Please feel free to contact me for support. Sincerely, Jan H.
pride@pionet.net
Jan H. , USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

I was prescribed Klonopin for panic about ten years ago and never varied from my daily dose of 1.25 mgs. About a year ago, and two years after moving to CA from the midwest, I found myself going to the doctor complaining of MS/Fibro/CFS type symptoms. To no avail. I'm stuck in the free med sys being I've not been able to work due to the chronic nature of my 'ailment.' What I found most confusing was that the K had worked well for over eight years and I was being told it was now the cause of my ills. Just didn't compute. The original prescribing psychiatrist was head of the dept and his specialty was panic. I'm VERY drug sensitive so it took about three years to finally find something I could tolerate and which basically eliminated all symptoms of the panic. What perturbs me now is reading the various insights of those who have been on benzos as I have and none of us seems to have ever been told the nightmare coming off of these would be. I took a VERY small, non-therapeutic dose of Paxil during '94-'95 and weaned myself off with no problem. Now is a different story. After living the last year as a guinea pig as the doctors tried adding Paxil, Depakote, Buspar, Serzone and Luvox....individually...NONE of which I could tolerate, the decision is not to wean me off K. In one month, I've gone from the 1.25/day to .75/day and am functioning, but given the instability of my hormones at this stage in my life, half the time I don't know what's doing what. A friend suggested I read 'Your Drug May Be Your Problem'...and I've seen this book referenced elsewhere. Sad to think that something I was taking to make me able to function will most likely turn out to be the thing that has caused me be unable to work, which in turn results in isolation and has me feeling downright crappy all the time. Some of the 'horror' stories I've read here and on other sites have me pretty darned scared, which is NOT helping my anxiety level. I'm hoping, that with the help of creative visualization, meditation, moderate exercise (when I can do it), I will be able to get thru this. After dealing with asthma, and the accompanying meds, for a number of years, I set my mind to just NOT putting up with it anymore and have not treated for lung problems in over ten years. I'd like to think I can tap into that same inner power for this journey. Would love to hear from any others dealing with this situation. Thanks for reading and good luck to all of you!
camitch@earthlink.net
cam from LA, CA, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

for 30 years my father has been prescribed Valium and Mogadon. For the last 20 years his dosage has been 30mg valium a day and 10mg of mogadon. He is now 74 years old and lives with me. He is now virtually sedated all day and his ability to communicate has greatly deteriorated in the last few years particularly. It has been suggested that he tries to reduce by a third whihc should increase his alertness as I am concerned for his general safety. Having atttempted 20 years ago to reduce, he is absolutely adamant that he will not attempt it again because of the withdrawal process. I understand this but don't know what the answer is (if any). What is your experience of long term usage of valium? Would cutting down a third make any difference? Would he experience severe withdrawal? How long before he would feel better? Our GP doesn't think there is a problem in cutting by a third (he has suggested that it can be done in one go. But I do not have a lot of faith in his judgement. There arn't many people around who have been on this drug for as long as him. Would appreciate your views.
jenmcardle@aol.com
Jennifer McArdle from London, England Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

This is a great site!I need all the mail I can get. It's he only thing I have to distract me from the withdrawal symptoms.We're all in this together. Let's give each other the support and understanding we all need.
nancyiam@netzero.net
nancy, CA, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

I was prescribed Xanax in 1989 for help in sleeping after a divorce. I was told it was non-addictive and safe to use for as long as needed. It wasn't long before I found out differently I used Xanax in increasingly larger doses (which my doctor kept prescribing) until January of 1999. By then, I felt like I was dying. I had been diagnosed with many different psycological disorders during the ten years, lost my job, almost lost my children and my life. For some reason, on a gray day in January, I knew I had to get off this insidious drug. Thank goodness help was available. I checked into the DaySpring unit of a local hospital and was immediately taken off all Xanax and put on a taper of phenobarbitol. The third day was the worst. I was hallucinating, totally disoriented, paranoid and kept repeatedly throwing up. There was a terrible "whanging" sound in my head and I thought I really was going to die. I had a great doctor, though, who really knew his medications and was aware of the destruction that Xanax has caused since Upjohn first put it on the market. It took several months to begin feeling good again, but I have lost 42 pounds, have an interest in life again, and am looking for a new job. People who did not know me before 1989 are literally amazed at ther person I am now. Benzodiazepines and Xanax in particular are truly life-threatening. ANY mood-altering drug should be taken with extreme caution. I wish the best to others who are going through the hell that I went through, but it can be beaten, and life can be good again.
janeo@uswest.net
Jane Meyer from Salt Lake, UT, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

After a back injury in 1985-86, a psychiatrist at a rehabilitation center prescribed Xanax which was administered to me about every 4 hours and then Halcion was given to me for sleep. When I arrived home and finally got back to work after a few months of disability, I needed pain medication to sleep, but one orthopedic physician thought that adding Ativan would relieve some of the spasms and suggested I use it at night to sleep. It worked better than sleeping pills, but over time my insomnia has become dangerously chronic, meaning I almost pass out when driving home from work. It is 2:30 in the morning and, after working a long day and barely functioning, I still can't get to sleep. It's been about 14 years on and off the Ativan, and I am still trying to function on little sleep, but I need to work, so I then start taking Ativan again. I try to skip a night or 2, but I get very hyper and, along with my menopause symptoms, more heart fibrillations than ever. If I don't take a pill at night, by late afternoon I feel as if I am speeding and my eyes begin to lose focus of what's happening around me.Can taking small doses (just 1 or 2mg at night) really be a problem? I've had doctors tell me to take more, but I only use it before bedtime. I can't imagine using a tranquilizer during the day at work. Now I can't tell where the reliance on the drug begins and what is stress related. All I know if that my life is being controlled by my inability to shut my mind off at night and rest. I have been told I must have a manic-depressive disorder, but my moods rarely change. I'm just tired, so tired that I am giving up hope.
JustXplrng@aol.com
Nancy from Naples, FL, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

I was on 4-7 (as needed) mg of Xanax for 13 years with a mix of different anti-depressents. My Doc put me on Luvox in 1996 and a year after that I started showing all the symtoms of MS. After several MRI's and lumbar punctures the MS therory was negative. I crashed in April of 1999 and ended up in lock-up in the psyc ward at the Veteren's Hospital in Portland, Or. were I was "spin dried" for three weeks and got off of benzo's and anti-depressents. It turned I that I was suffering from Xanax intocication all along. It was the best thing that ever happend to me.
kl7gr@hotmail.com
Gary I. Rasmussen from Anchorage, AK, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

I have been off xanax and other benzo's for 23 days after a continuous 2 year usage. It had to be the worst nightmare I've ever gone through. My sympathy to anyone struggling with the issue of whether or not to take these drugs. The testimonies of all these people should tell it all. There is life left after pills. My mind is starting to return, my memory is improving, the withdrawal symptoms are easing and by the grace of God I'm going to make it. I pray daily for all those out there still taking benzo's.
grace_12345@hotmail.com
diane from peru, IN, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999

I have been taking valium 5mg. for about 6 years now, I take approximately 2 a week, sometimes in half. I also take Doxepin which was prescribed for anxiety 7 years ago. 25mg. I notice quite a bit of anxiety and do not wish to increase these dosages and become dependent, do these medications cause a person to feel more anxiety with increasing dosage, I mostly just put off taking anymore til the feelings go away or it is time to go to bed and I just drop off without noticing, it is usually late afternoon that i feel a need to take a half dosage or or so. I have maintained this dosage for 6-7 years. any comments would be appreciated. smassey
smassey@brazosnet.com
smassey, USA Sat Aug 7 06:33:28 CEST 1999

I am so glad to have found this web site. I need support as I am alone in a new city and am in the process of withdrawing from benzos. Please e-mail with your advice and experiences. Thank you.
callme@compaq.net
Nancy McCALL from SanDiego, CA, USA Sun Aug 8 21:27:44 CEST 1999
I was prescribed Xanax for anxiety-depression disorder which I got due to iron deficiency.Along with Xanax,I have been using Amyzol(an antipressant) and Eglonyl.But, Xanax caused me horrible withdrawal symptoms when I tried to lower the dosage,while the other two drugs didn't(they probably just prolonged the lenght of the withdrawal from Xanax). I have been using 1mg daily of Xanax for about 2 months,and it took about 25 days to discontinue it,which means I was using Xanax for about 2 1/2 months.Even though I wasn't using it too long,I got the withdrawal syndrom.I experienced derealization, dizziness,insomnia,anxiety and several other symptoms.It was very hard to discontinue using Xanax.Today is 82nd day since I went off Xanax and I still experience the withdrawal symptoms.However,the symptoms are declining as the time passes,but they come and go in cycles.That means when you start to feel somewhat good,the symptoms tend to come back for a while,then they decline,only to come back after several days.But,there is a difference every time they come back. They can be different than in a previous cycle.Although I feel bad every time those cycles appear,I can tell that I'm gradually getting better.To finish the long story in short,benzodiazepines are not ment to be used longer than 2 weeks,no matter what your physicians tell you!And they realy aren't the solution for anxiety-depression disorders, because you get worse after you discontinue with them than you did before you started to use them.Recovery from benzos is a long,soul wrenching experience,but it's worth it, since the use of benzos realy isn't an alternative.
mezosuyu@eunet.yu
Zoran Merkovic from Subotica, Serbia, Yugoslavia Mon Aug 2 16:53:43 CEST 1999

I took klonopin for only few months and had very hard time with the withdrawal. One of my major sysmptoms next to anxiety was epigastric discomfort. I am off from Klonopin the last 2 months and I still have muscle spasms and all kind of stomach problem. My primary physician did all kind of testing, and found nothing wrong with me. H e knows about Klonopin but he does not think that my symptoms can be explained by the Klonopin withdrawal. Is anybody had similar withdrawal symptoms after couple months of tapering off benzos? Please email me or leave a message on the bullatin board. Thanks.
eva.sapi@yale.edu
Eva, USA Mon Jul 26 17:57:20 CEST 1999

Been off benzos 'n booze since February 11, 1985. Thank God, I had someone who loved me enough to strongly encourage me to get help. Went to Treatment that February morn. Actually, I was the recipient of an "Intervention". Twas the best life changing event in my entire life. Even though, I really really reluctantly agreed to go to Treatment, little did I know of what was to come to pass. My benzo story is somewhat different (not unique)than most I read in the Guestbook section. Booze was my main drug. Began taking only a smidgen of a Valium (less than a quarter piece) to calm my nerves. No doubt, I was experiencing alcohol withdrawal pangs. Since the Valium didn't 'sedate' me nor hurt me (or so I thought), I decided to take a quarter piece the next time. Thus, started another addiction. After 2+ years of rapidly increasing 'smidgens', I had ended up taking palm fulls of various dosages of benzos ALONG with nightly alcohol induced adventures. I know this sounds incredulous, however I am truthfully telling you what happened during the latter days of addiction. To this day, I am amazed at how much abuse a being can endure. The amounts of benzos and booze were of toxic levels separately, not to mention combined. Withdrawal symptoms in the Treatment center seemed to be more emotional distress than physical although having severe dry heaves to the point of bringing forth bile was quite painful. Short-term memory turned to mush, emotional roller-coaster with periods of total shutdown, paranoic presence, mind racing, angst, yada yada yada. As my emotions thawed (probably, more like synaptic reconnection) I was grateful for my wife, friends 'n family. Oh yeah, gong to Aftercare and 12 step meetings were quite helpful, too. Miracles happen. To be free of mood altering chemicals is by all means a miracle. May all receive this miracle soon for suffering sucks.
tadnme@worldnet.att.net
Chris Contreras from OKC, OK, USA Thu Jul 22 07:12:15 CEST 1999

I have been drug free for ten years, and seeing all the stories here, makes me realize how the medical profession has totally ignored patient concerns and were neglectful in observing changes in the patient. I guess it was more expedient to follow the drug industries explanations concerning addiction and adverse reactions.
URSULA@xtra.co.nz
Gurli, USA Fri Jul 23 03:24:06 CEST 1999

I want to add that during these years in between my first and last psychosis neither I nor anybody else questioned my addiction to pills (apart from one good friend - but I did not listen to him, I thought he was crazy...)since the doctors' opinion was that I needed the pills as I was mentally ill, as they said. Nobody suggested that the pills were what made me mentally sick. And when I claimed I was not sick the way they had it, they said I lacked insight about my condition. That was a trap. But I never quit using tranqualizers then, until I understood the connection three years ago. And since then I have been feeling steadily better and I have not been plagued by any anxiety or depression apart from the usual withdrawal symptoms. I am not a nut. I am a pill addict. And that's okay, because if I stay clean I can live well. Thanks again.
Kajsa <daisy.is.happy@swipnet.se>
USA - July 1999 at 00:56:03 (CEST)
I started using Ativan when I was 20 years old, that is now 20 years ago, and I kept using them (I got them from a therapist who got them from a doctor I never even met) and a few years after that first pill, I had a mental breakdown which I have now come to know was a paradoxical reaction. For the next 11 (eleven) years I had one breakdown after the other resembling psychosis and treated like psychosis - which nearly killed me. I feel like I've lived through hell, through a war. I have been clean for three years. Through a series of co-incidences I finally found out what the problem with me really was and my whole life has since been reversed, apart from the fact that I still suffer from the experiences I've had in a way that makes me think of post traumatic stress syndrome. I can't get these 15-20 years back, and that still hurts at times. But what I can do is contribute with what I have understood, to the effect that maybe someone else is saved. And I am truely grateful that I'm coming alive, bit by bit. Thanks for a very important and informative site. And thanks for listening. Kajsa
Kajsa <daisy.is.happy@swipnet.se>
USA - July, 1999 at 00:45:50 (CEST)

after having stuumbled upon this sight, i feel i perhpas should voive my own experience regarding my chronic and continual abuze of diazepam (valium). I take on an average 50mg per day, but sometimes that will be increased up to a max. of 100mg a day (note: dosage taken all at once and not at intervals). Unlike most opf the people who have posted comments ont he site, i have no desire or will to quit my addiction. I accept i have a drug problem and would like to come clean as it has a tendency to make me aggressive, but i use it as a sort of crutch, like a cigarette or a baby doll for a little girl/boy. i am at al loss and in two minds whether to quit or whether to continue my use. My Dr. has no problems prescribing the valium to me as i have a knack of persuasion (being a very good law student!). If anyone wants to comment or talk to me about my chronic abuse of valium i would be greatly appreciated. I ams till a young man (25) and realize that L.T abuse will at the end of the day fuck up my life, but at the same time i don't want ot quit taking the drug.
willi77@hotmail.com
steve from perth, WA, australia July 1999

This is a question for those who have succeeded in withdrawal. I am currently taking just 1/2 of my dose and although I feel good I can´t sleep until 9 or 10 in the morning. Do you think I should struggle to keep a normal pattern or this will disappear and return to normality one day? It is almost impossible for me to stay awake all day and keep a decent sleeping pattern. Please reply to cbn97@hotmail.com
cbn97@hotmail.com
Carmelo Coton, USA, June 1999

I have started a Yahoo Club for those of us who want to discuss benzodiazepine withdrawal, and post-withdrawal syndrome. If you want to talk to other people who are suffering from this also, Please join us at http:clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/benzowithdrawal There is a message board as well as a chat room. See you there!
salinger@hotmail.com
Karen, CA, USA, June 1999
http:clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/benzowithdrawal

I became sad after reading the experiences of some of these patients and their tribulations with this class of drugs. Unfortunately, it only shows how much misinformation and poor psychiatric treatment is out there. I am appalled to see patients with a history of substance abuse being prescribed benzos in the first place! There are supposedly "safer" alternatives for treating anxiety and panic disorder; however, with the SSRI's it's only recently starting to emerge that there are withdrawal effects from coming off these drugs as well;i.e.: Paxil head. It was a mixed blessing that I have such a low tolerance for medication and was able to overcome my problem on very low doses of clonazepam. A half a miligram can put me to sleep for six hours. I did experience mild withdrawal symptoms tapering off it as prescribed by my doctor. They included muscle sore- ness, nausea, disruption of sleep and chills, but were only apparent for a few days. Starting the treatment was a whole other ball of wax until my body developed a tolerance to the clonazepam: the worst headaches I ever had in my entire life, short term memory loss , diarrhea, and sensitivity to bright lights. I tapered it by breaking the tablet in half every ten days until I was down to a quarter of a tablet. This procedure worked for me. The most critical thing at this time though is to make sure you have the support of a good psychiatrist and empathetic therapist. I made sure I had both. I still carry the meds with me as a "security blanket". Don't feel ashamed to do this if it makes you feel more composed. Now I just use the clonazepam as a sleeping pill once in a blue moon.
tegu@flash.net
Hanna Strauss from Sherman Oaks, CA, USA, June 1999
What a godsend! I 'accidentally' came across this site using the keywords klonopin withdrawal! I am 28 and into my 3rd HORRIFIC month of benzo withdrawal. After abusing the drug (10 a day) with alcohol and Valium I went into a psychiatric facility and was told it would be in my best interest to go to rehab which I did. Four weeks later I left thinking it was fairly simple and then the nightmare began. I also have Fibromyalgia/CFS so the pain is unbearable. Every day is like climbing a steep hill with cement attached to my limbs. DOCTORS ARE NOT EDUCATED RE:BENZOS. They throw pills at us when the solution to panic/anxiety usually lies in the mind. We are all FEARFUL of something. No amount of benzos have ever CURED panic disorder! I would love to hear from anyone who has doubts whether or not they can do this. I feel as if I am at my wits end somedays with the pain. But I do believe a Higher Power has given me this 'gift'. That may sound ridiculous but this is a disease of the spirit and once we unite-and not isolate anymore-we become powerful. We are also stronger than we realize. You have to go through literal hell to get to the good...we become more peaceful, centered, and emotionally available through this disease of addiction. April
dawnchong@hotmail.com
April from Mission Viejo, CA, USA, May 1999
I have been on Klonopin for over 4 years now. I developed an anxiety disorder after a cocaine incident(so the docs say, I say it just rewired some stuff) and I have not been the same since. I literally developed this condition within about 2 hours because of the cocaine. I was originally prescribed 3 .5mg of klonopin a day and paxil which I took the paxil for 2 years and weened myself off. I was alway told to stay on the paxil and ween off the benzo, but the klonopin became a safehaven for me-I had to have it to feel safe. Well I have managed to decrease my dosage to about a half of a .5 which is supposed to be less than a theraupetic dose and I am experience some withdrawal symptoms. Flu-like symptoms, headaches, a foggy feeling, high anxiety, neck pain, pressure in the head, heightened sensitivity. I don't know if I can ever get off this stuff. It is very difficult. I really want to get off because I have noticed that my memory has worsened, I feel very tired all the time and very irritable. I have a passive attitude about alot of things, escpecially emotional relationships. It feels like a chore to listen to someone or be bothered by someone else's problems. Its like I am just not interested. One of the scariest symptoms I have had is the obsessive thought to hurt someone. You work this image up in your mind and it scares you to death that you are thinking that. I found some comfort knowing this is a symptom of benzo withdrawal as well as OCD. However, it is still scary. I feel like my mental health has deteriorated. However, I do not want to give up. I can get off this klonopin and live a normal life but it is going to take time. I have gradually reduced my dosage over 4 years and it is hard to get past that one point. I have a job, mortgage, car payment, dog, etc. like most people and to be bedridden for 6 months to withdraw from this shit is a difficult alternative. My doctor wants to put me back on anti-depressants which I am scared to death of. I have noticed that I have developed many phobias over the last 4 years. I have done alot of research but the most frustrating thing is I do not know if my symptoms are a result of an anxiety disorder, OCD, or withdrawal symptoms. All my symptoms fit into all these categories so it is very hard to pinpoint exactly what is going on. Anyways, I wish everyone well and luck in getting off the benzos. I am going to keep trying. Detoxification is the next thing for me such as taking certain vitamins and herbs that will help me detox quicker. Chiropractic, hypnotherapy, whatever, I need to try it till I find something.
boydp@bellsouth.net
Boyd from atlanta, ga, USA, May 1999
Unfortunate information that actress Dana Plato overdosed and died last night on Lortab (hydrocodone) and Valium (diazepam). Just another example why many drug abuse experts believe that prescription drugs are the #1 drugs of abuse, and have been for many years. Hydrocodone and diazepam represent the two biggest prescription drugs of abuse. Sgt. John Burke Cincinnati Police Division Pharmaceutical Diversion Squad
burke@choice.net
John Burke from Cincinnati, Ohio, USA, May 1999
For years, maybe my whole life, I was hit by waves of anxiety and panic totally out of the blue. Finally when I was about 34, it got so bad that I couldn't consistently go to work. I went to see a general practice MD about it. She first prescribed Prozac, but I developed a severe allergic reaction so she took me off Prozac and prescribed valium. Over a period of a year I got up to 20 Mg a day. During that time, the panic and anxiety decreased a lot, but never went away. Finally, I went to see a psychiatrist, who prescribed Paxil (a SSRI) and reduced my valium to 2.5 mg a day over a period of about a month. I really didn't feel any withdrawal symptoms. I feel better than I have in my whole life. I can concentrate better. I can do things that used to totally freak me out. I would say that the combination of valium and paxil kept me from being totally house bound.
Marvin King, USA, May 1999
5 years ago,my doctor withdrawaled my diazepam(20 mg/day)suddenly.I felt like my brain was in ice.I was living the life behind the curtain.My concentration was so bad.And ý have been forgetting many things.4 years passed and noting haschanged.ý still use benzo(10 mg/day).That's all.thanks
torino@superonline.com
ekrem from Istanbul, Turkey, May 1999
We need a message board to discuss all of our experiences - we all have so much we can learn from one another. If anyone knows of a message board, or knows how to start one, please e-mail me and let me know, Thanks!
salinger@hotmail.com
KCS, CA, USA, May 1999
Hello from Spain, dear hell-mates. First of all , excuse me for my mistakes in English, I am an Spanish speaker. Just to say that I am extremely glad to have found this site, since in my country there is nothing similar at all and it is still not believed how much destructive and addictive this drugs are. Nobody, not even my family, believes that I have an addiction problem and that the 16 years of worsening are just due to "unknown" and "strange" psichological questions.I am just 34, and I started at 18 for sleeping problems. My mum said they were harmless... So,thank God that you are far more advanced in America, and I can share my pain and find a support in you. I am at the very end of my tapering-off, just in 1/3 of the pill per night, but I still feel extremely tired, permanently dizzy, suffer electric brain shocks, my muscles are swollen and fatigued, cravings for sugar, and have terrifying night panics in bed. Not so bad...it used to be worse. (And you know what I mean) Thanks to all of you. Let´s go for it together!!
cbn97@retemail.es
Carmelo Coton from Madrid, Spain, May 1999
I have found a relatively new bulletin board put on by the people at The Site of Experience that is good, but needs more people to really get it going - we all have so much to learn from one another, maybe this is a good way to do it. Please post your experiences, questions, thoughts and dreams there - we can all help one another on this big benzo problem. The site is located at http:hem.passagen.se/evoca/GuidelinesE.html - hope to see you all there!
salinger@hotmail.com
Karen, CA, USA, May 1999
We have a wonderful e-mail support group for people who are trying to come off benzos, are currently withdrawing or have some time in recovery and want to share their experiences. E-mail me for more info. addydawn@hotmail.com
Marlene, NJ, USA Wed Apr 28 23:01:32 CEST 1999
I have been taking increasing dosages of Xanax since 1994 as a means of sleeping. I am a chronic insomniac. I started with one of the pink ones .5 I think, which has increased to 3 blue ones (1.0 I think). I have taken myself off (detoxed) on at least two occasions - the first there was only a mildnervousness - the second time as I did it 'cold turkey' (no kidding) I though that I had stomach flu for an evening - but then I was fine though absolutely sleepless for about 5 days. Then I even started sleeping fairly normally (I am 51 years old). I voluntarily started taking it again when my wife of 15 years left me with my 3 year old daughter without any warning or reason a year ago.I plan to wean myself off the drug again this summer (99) whenour divorce should be final and I have more chance to 'sleep in' if necessary (I am a teacher). Asfar as I have been able to discern, I have had none of the alarming symptoms that one might expectfrom long term usage as I have read described on this page and others. Does anyone knowwhether long-term usage will absolutely cause problems for all, or only some users? I feel as thoughthe drug has allowed me to cope with life...I only take it at bedtime, and feel no need for it throughthe day, though I do know that 3 mg of Xanax is way out of proportion...that is why I plan to detoxthis summer. Would anyone reading this, who has personal knowledge, share their experiencesof detoxing? I plan to start with 2 1/2 blues for a week, then 2 for a week, then 1 1/2 for a week untilI am clear. As I have detoxed twice before I haven't been too worried, until I read these and otherpages. I was then alarmed that I may have really (pardon the French) 'f_____d' myself good this time. I would really appreciate some input from people who have been there and done that. My MDis not happy about it but has acquiesed to my request because anti-depressives such as Paxilhave an 'ironic' effect on me. They make me depressed in the extreme. I would like to start acorrespondence with someone who is empathetic and not OLD TESTAMENT that is with nothing but DOOM, GLOOM, AND BEWARE to say to me. I honestly want to get off the xanax and could use a cyber friend right now to chew the fat with. I'm not too optimistic that I'll hear from anyone, as I've tried this penpal stuff before, but hey, it's Springtime. Uncynically looking forward to hearing from you, I remain, until summer, your 'dependent cause'. J
jdavid <jdavid@nex.net>
USA - Monday, April 12, 1999 at 03:11:14 (CEST)
I was on valium for 18 years( 5mg 4x a day). I took it according to my doctor's advice and he too, told me that it wasn't addictive. I should preface this story by telling you that before I took valium I was a composer of concert music. I got started on the valium as a result of marital and finaicial problems. Within 1 year of taking valium I stopped composing music.The horrible part of all this is that I didn't care whether I composed or not! I didn't have a lot of the symptoms many of you describe on the drug but I DID develop phobias as the years went by. I was unable to fly, drive on freeways etc. In addition, I had increased overall anxiety with bouts of panic if my dose was late. In 1983 my physician retired and his replacement simply cut off my supply of pills telling me that"You've been on these too long and its time you stopped taking them" Needless to say, all of you can imagine what happened as a result. Everything you all have written happened. it was the worst hell I ever have gone through. I was in the hospital for a month, in a recovery home for 6 months. By the way, these were primarily alcohol recovery facilities so I was led to believe that my valium addition was all my fault and if I just worked the 12 steps my life would be better! No one understood the hell I was going through until I finally located some people who had come off BDZs before me. if it weren't for these people I wouldn't have made it. We had NO support at all from the medical community and as I look back on it, it is one of the most insideous and shameful situations I have ever experienced. People are dying from this stuff and they have got to take resposibility for what they have done. Anyhow-let me share the good news with all of you. I came through all of this and I have been free of valium since 1983. My symptoms have only gradually subsided overe a period of many years. I now can finally fly without fearing a panic attack and I drive all the freeways here in CA. However, the BEST news is that 2 years after I came off the pills my music returned. I am a fairly well known compsoer now of concert music and my works have been performed throughout this country. I got back my life and my creativity after "sleeping" for 20 years. It is worth the fight so don't give up for you have your life to gain>Nancy BD
Nancy B. Deussen <deussen@ix.netcom.com>
Palo Alto, CA USA - Thursday, April 08, 1999 at 07:53:45 (CEST)
It is now a year and a half since I tapered off of ativan after taking it for 10 years. I was originally prescribed ativan after the birth of my second child. I was not feeling well and was told I had a chemical imbalance. I knew in my heart that something was physically wrong, but if you are a woman that just had a baby, no one is going to listen to you. I took the ativan and it did help a little but the original problem was still there. Antidepressants were also prescribed, but I reacted terrible to all of them. Finally, after a year, I found an article that explained exactly how I felt. I called my internist and asked him to prescribe the antibiotic mentioned in the article and he did. In five days I was all better and feeling wonderful. Now all I had to do was get off the ativan, but withdrawal set in and I had no idea what hit me. My doctor again told me I was chemically imbalanced and that I need ativan for the rest of my life. After all she said "If you were a diabetic you would have to take insulin the rest of your life wouldn't you?" Well, I didn't want to feel those horrible feelings again, so I continued taking ativan for nine more years until I finally realized I had developed more fears and phobias while on the ativan, my dose had to constantly be upped in order for me to feel "normal" and I did not want this drug ruling my life anymore. After all, I used to be normal before I ever took this drug, so I knew I could feel normal again. I started a taper in May 1997 and finished on September 9, 1997. I thought I had gone through the worst of it and made it. All I had left now wa a lingering fatigue and muscle twitching. I was able to go everywhere again and enjoy life drug free. Then, five months later the REAL withdrawal hit me. Again, doctors only offered medication, but I knew in my heart it was withdrawal. I did take a little ativan and sure enough all my symptoms would go away. I cheated off and on for a little while as I tried to get some help. This website has been so important to those of us going through withdrawal. If it were not for the information here, the books listed, the organizations to contact, I'm sure I would have failed in my attempt to overcome this problem. It has been almost seven months since the last time I "cheated" and took an ativan and my symptoms have only gotten better. My energy level is almost back to what it was before ativan. I still have a few other symptoms to work on, but I feel as if I am almost at the end of my ordeal. Because of the efforts that were put into this website, it was a major part in my recovery. I cannot thank Dag and Daniel enough. There is so much information available and this is a good place to have your doctor come and look at the information if they do not believe your symptoms. It is also a good place to meet others that either are or have gone through withdrawal. You are not alone in this struggle.
Geraldine Burns <GCBURNS55@aol.com>
Boston, MA USA - Thursday, April 01, 1999 at 20:11:03 (CEST)

Hallo anybody!I'm a woman who is looking for someone that quitbenzo and want to share and help in time of need.I don't have any in the same "boat"..Mail me in swedish or english.
anette <anette.ek@mail.bip.net>
Sweden - Thursday, March 04, 1999 at 13:09:09 (CET)

I was on Xanax for 8 years before I started realizing I was worse than before I started. I feared being honest with my doctor, who phoned in refills (no questions asked), for the entire 8 years. When I finally got the nerve to talk to him and ask for help in getting off the drug, I received a Registered Mail Letter within a week..."Dear Christine, We feel that you are insincere in your efforts to end your addiction to Xanax. I regret I will no longer be able to refill your prescriptions." Needless to say, I conserved what little Xanax I had left and have been tapering myself off. I don't know if the doctor saw the damage that the medication he prescribed was doing and this was his way of distancing himself from a possible lawsuit, or if I went into his office wiser about the effects of benzo's and frightened him, or both. I am doing this on my own. I have gone from 1mg/day to .25mg/day. I have 5 days worth of Xanax left. It's scary, but I think I will make it. Good luck to all trying to detox from this horrible drug.
Christine <jaggedlady@aol.com>
CA USA - Thursday, February 11, 1999 at 06:45:43 (CET)

So glad to finally find your website!!My mother was on Xanax for over eight years.She began to experience withdrawal while still on it.She got up to 2 mg. a day.Her family doctor prescribed it to be taken every- day and he told her it wasn't addictive.Then she got so miserable on it and having withdrawal symptoms so bad,we put her in a psychiatric hospital to be taken off of it.She was 68 years old at that time.They took the Xanax away immediately and put her on Klonopin only. She went through an absolutely horrible experience getting off.The doctor tapered her off Klonopin in a few weeks. She got extremely sick!So two psychiatrists had a dis- agreement over it and one put her back on Klonopin.Then he tapered her off the Klonopin in six months.This method was just too radical for her.It's now been almost five years and she's still almost an invalid.She has severe cramping and a moving sensation in her head.Her stomach cramps up to her throat.She staggers.Being around people makes it worse so she stays home.Concentration to do the simplest thing makes it worse.She was in the hospital recently just for the pain.No one here understands it. Only one doctor has tried to help her but he too thinks in terms of anxiety and depression.Most doctors either don't believe her or they have nothing to say.This Xanax has taken away many of her years.She's anxious to do things but has to sit and hope it'll go away.It's been a nightmare to the whole family.I would like to know if there are others like her.
Billie <blljm@rocketmail.com >
USA - Monday, February 01, 1999 at 20:42:05 (CET)

I just found this site-have been off xanax for 18 months after a 5mg per day for 7 yrs of use. it was done by cold turkey! not a good thing! i still have alot of symptoms but am finding out there is hope at the end of this very long and dark tunnel! any one wanting to E is welcome it is always nice to have someone to do a journey with!
Denise <morrobaydenise@webtv.net>
Morro Bay, CA USA - Saturday, January 30, 1999 at 03:09:39 (CET)

Hi folks. Sorry to hear about everyones nightmares. Benzodiazepines are very dangerous addictive drugs and must be used with extreme caution. However they can really help some people. Klonopin has been very useful to me but I only use it when necessary so I don't develop tolerance. I am supposed to take 3mg/day but i don't. Most days I don't even take them, only when my anxiety becomes unbearable. Since I have been on them I take them less and less. It's been about six months now. At first I was taking 3 a day but once my anxiety got under control I only use them to combat execptional stress. I have GAD but I am getting much better. I think the medication really helped me. Just the psychological reassurance that I have these pills to take if I get really bad helps keep my anxiety under control. I have been able to go back to college and I pulled a 3.3 last semester. I hope to not need to take medication at all, but for now the occasional Klonopin does the job and has no side effects except drowsiness, and that I can live with. Being a little tired sure beats the hell out of a panic attack. Then again, so does breaking your arm. I wish you all well. -Frank M.
Frank Madigan <bg24680@binghamton.edu>
Binghamton, NY USA - Tuesday, January 26, 1999 at 02:42:00 (CET)

I´m suffering from benzo withdrawal. I hate to admit it but it comforts me to find you, and to know for sure I am not alone in this 20 yr. long nightmare of malpractice, misdiagnosis, improper meds, and lack of medical support for withdrawel. I am MAD AS HELL. They have robbed me and all of you of any quality of life and they KNEW these drugs were only intended to be used in small quanities, and for short periods of time so tell me how the first Dr. I turned to at the age of 24, had me taking over 60mgs of V's a day by the 18th month of treatment? Sounds insane in light of what we all know now doesn't it. And I would love to know why the next guy decided to take me off them.....cold turkey! How thankful I am that I was able to survive four long months of shear hell without ending up "inside" for treatment. (No doubt they would have fixed me right up, huh?) Unfortunately, my the need for valium was recognized by the Md. and the nightmare continued for me as it has for all of you regardless of the partcular brand of benzodiazepine, for all of my adult life. I have recently seen yet another Dr. who actually listened to a condensed version of the whole sad story and agree that nearly four yrs. of suffering without, and doing everything we know to do to no avail, was enough. After just one week back on 10 mgs. a day I feel like a new person, but I am scared to death of what might be down the road, around the next curve waiting for me to face. I wonder if any of you are doing anything legally speaking about this, if you have any websites you could share, if you know of any boards to dicuss this on other than the miningco.com and if any of you that have posted come back here. If so how's it going and what's new? I hope you are all doing well and look forward to reading more from you all, ~cindy~
Cindy <sunset43@webtv.net>
Paradise, Mt USA - Sunday, January 24, 1999 at 01:07:45 (CET)

So glad to finally find your website!!My mother was on Xanax for over eight years.She began to experience withdrawal while still on it.She got up to 2 mg. a day.Her family doctor prescribed it to be taken every- day and he told her it wasn't addictive.Then she got so miserable on it and having withdrawal symptoms so bad,we put her in a psychiatric hospital to be taken off of it.She was 68 years old at that time.They took the Xanax away immediately and put her on Klonopin only. She went through an absolutely horrible experience getting off.The doctor tapered her off Klonopin in a few weeks. She got extremely sick!So two psychiatrists had a dis- agreement over it and one put her back on Klonopin.Then he tapered her off the Klonopin in six months.This method was just too radical for her.It's now been almost five years and she's still almost an invalid.She has severe cramping and a moving sensation in her head.Her stomach cramps up to her throat.She staggers.Being around people makes it worse so she stays home.Concentration to do the simplest thing makes it worse.She was in the hospital recently just for the pain.No one here understands it. Only one doctor has tried to help her but he too thinks in terms of anxiety and depression.Most doctors either don't believe her or they have nothing to say.This Xanax has taken away many of her years.She's anxious to do things but has to sit and hope it'll go away.It's been a nightmare to the whole family.I would like to know if there are others like her.
Billie <blljm@rocketmail.com>
USA - Monday, February 01, 1999 at 20:42:05 (CET)

I came across this Web-Site, purely by accident, and I have found it to be very informative. I have been on Xanax for close to 10 years now, and even though I am still on them I feel as if I am suffering great withdrawal symptoms. Not from the lack of taking them, but I believe my dosage no longer suffices my body or mind's need of the drug. The symptoms are terrible and I am so scared and paranoid of the reactions that I am experiencing. I know I have to discuss this with my doctor, but I am already scared to death of the outcome. I couldn't see myself functioning without this drug for years, and now I can't seem to function with it. I need help, and I know I need it bad. Is there really help out there for people like me. I'm on tons of medications for all kinds of ailments, and I really feel I'm dying inside. All I think of is death lately, and this really scares me. Is there any help out there? Thank you for listening.
Shirley Cribb <marv@thesurf.com>
USA - Saturday, January 16, 1999 at 21:14:54 (CET)

My name Is Alex,I have been using Xanax and Valium for the past 4 years(3to4mg/day)for anxiety and depression.In the last 2 years I developed a tolerance.I became more depressed and lazy.I did'nt go to work like I should of,everyday my motivation was decreasing;I did'nt feel like talking or socialize;I've lost most of my friends;all I wanted to do is sleep and eat(I've gained 40 pounds).I was out of control and decided to quit cold turkey;impossible,the withdraws were to strong;I also try to taper down but without sucsess.I have been clean now free of benzos for 7 months.I have done it throught tapering,good consistant nutrition,a lot of water,exercise and St JOHN WART.If I can do it,anyone can.Any question?Feel free to write me.My email is:abenchetri@wwisp.com Good luck ,a higher power also can help,even if you are not religious.Sincerly,Alex benchetrit.
Alex <abenchetri@wwisp.com>
Birmingham, AL USA - Sunday, January 10, 1999 at 20:20:54 (CET)

A great site. I must return for some more reading. This is a very important subject.
Gordon Taylor <gordon@southern.co.nz>
Christchurch, New Zealand - Friday, January 08, 1999 at 10:04:57 (CET)

I have just been reading guestbook commments, which are mostly excellent. Almost two years ago to the day I entered McLean Phychiatric Hospital--"the world's foremost psychiatric hospital" for detoxification for klonopin and marajuana addiction. Yes, mj is addictive--especially when combined with benzos! My psychiatrist prescribed benzos while treating me for depression with antidepressent meds without too much success. But the main reason was that i was experiencing bad somatic sypmptoms, especially scratching myself raw, and he simply did not any recourse, he felt. However, he did not know about the synergy with mj. I 'unconsciously' became a con-man, and I eventually got him to up the dose to 12 mg/day. Believe me, I was flying high! One or two times I ran out before my next refill, and I thought I was going crazy--but I always go more before things got too bad--at first I didn't know I was going throught withdrawal, that such a thing was possible on benzos! Anyway, after about 2 years of this by neuro circuits were so saturated with mj and benzo that it wasn't working anymore and I became sucidially depressed and had a psychotic break. Fortunately they were quite familiar with benzo addiction at McLeans. The first comment they always made when they learned of my dosage was "you know that's a very big dosage" The only way to safely detox from benzos is to slowly 'taper off', me over period of 3 weeks. The shit hit he fan after about the first 10 days--total disorientation, hallucination, severe anxiety; but some positive things also, like deep subconsious retrieval and abiltiy to empathizse with others. My ego was totally stripped away and I was in a semi-psyotitic state, going throough pure hell. As it was put by a doctor: yea, benzos really scramble your brain! It was a fellow patient who told me, however, that the worst part was after the detox was complete, and I was no longer in medical danger. Because the brain takes a long time to reach equilibriumj again, and during that period (6 months) I was a real mess. For long time I was afraid to leave the house, etc. Although, there was a kind of hallucinogenic sensitivity to things in a positive sense, telepathic communication and other weird phenomena. Basically, you go thlrough an intensive life-reevaluation process. Anyway, I don't recommend this to anybody. It is basically a real mind-fuck with moments of hallucionogenic lucidity. I was told that benzos should not be prescrisbed other than for a very short period of time, to get over a crises sulch as panic attacks, etc. Apparently, my shrink was never informed of this by the drug company literatulre or representatives.
ed engelmann <emephil@aol.com>
USA - Wednesday, December 30, 1998 at 01:59:40 (CET)

I have experienced double vision while taking ativan
jim lord <jimlord@carroll.com>
USA - Wednesday, December 23, 1998 at 18:50:22 (CET)

This is about my husband. He is a recovering alcoholic of 8 years. He had taken xanax before if a friend gave him a few and I never liked the way they made him behave. When his business partner and best friend died in Feb. 1998, very unexpectedly, his blood pressure went sky high worrying if he could make the same income as before (he is a carpet installer). A doctor prescribed xanax. Since then he has been able to talk a doctor into giving him 60-90 per month. He will take them all within one week. I found a lot of things I wanted to know on this site except for the reason he acts the way he does. They make him a different person. He doesn't sleep except for passing out for a few hours and will stay up all nite for days. He thinks he is just fine when it is obvious he isn't. The worst part is he doesn't care about me or the kids and what it does to us. The worst is the things he says. He is so nasty and mean and it hurts terribly. After he has come down, of course, he is very upset by what he has done and swears not to go back to the doctor. Then the next month like clockwork he will sneak back and do it again. Since he is a recovering addict of alcohol and knows the effects and the withdrawal symptoms I don't understand why he can not see that he is addicted to the xanax. Some months are worse than others and I am at my wits end, and will move out after the holidays (it is Dec. 20) I know a lot of women say that but I did leave him when drank until he quit. The info I found on this site was very helpful, as there is some info I didn't know about. I have printed some things and I will confront our doctor with it, because I don't think a person with high blood pressure should be treated with xanax. Thank You
Kim Jenkins <u0c37@wvnvm.wvnet.edu>
USA - Monday, December 21, 1998 at 03:33:01 (CET)

I have been on Doxepin 125mg nightly and Clonazepam 2 times 0.5 mg morning and lunch for 2 years. I have never felt better in my life. Clonazepam in particular has increased my ability to tolerate almost all social situations. However, I do not wish to encourage or discourage others. Each person must make the decision without coercion. I would rather live a life entirely devoid of all drugs and medicines. However, with the efficacy of the aforementioned medications already mentioned, I will continue to use these medications until I choose to pursue an alternative approach to my individual situation. Your site is, however, very useful for those who are regressing rather than progressing. For your consideration of their plight, I commend the authors of this site and the many professionals cited. Good luck to all those attempting to wean themselves off medication, and may those who have been helped by benzos remain emotionally stable and in control of their situation.
Devotee <hirsute@hair.net.aucomeon>
USA - Tuesday, November 17, 1998 at 07:27:38 (CET)

Funny in this family we have not had any problems with withdrawl from Xanax. What we have experienced is a loss of the nasty symptoms of the disorder referred to as PAD. I do not say that with this drug there are not some problems and that yes you become dependent on it. But if you are agoraphobic to the point you can not function in society this is the drug of choice.The other durg of choice is alcohol and it is a race to which will cause the greater problems. When I see a web site like this there is one of two reason. First you do not understand the disorder of Panic and second for some reason you want to discourage people from using medicaion which may give them back life in a functional manner. I know every thing about this drug that you have published and I would still use it as my first line of defence against Panic disorder. Why cannot the medical community come out with a better drug for us!!The SSRI are not the answer so what it. It is easy to tear down a drug but very hard to find a safe replacement for the chemical.
Roxanne
WY USA - Tuesday, November 17, 1998 at 00:41:20 (CET)

well i've been into this for almost 5 years ,mostly bromazipam,diazipam. I'm stepping out somehow , i'm in this fight for a year & i'm still. all i need is hope ,this is the reason for this abuse.
Samy Olabi <sam4bolabi@hotmail.com>
Cairo, Egypt - Monday, October 26, 1998 at 01:32:27 (CET)

I am going through benzo withdrawl, completing my thiteenth month (after 7 years lost on Klonipin..) I knew the symptoms I experience must be related to withdrawl, but was too afraid to even try to begin to tell my MD for fear he'd of what he might think. What a relief to find that all this is to be expected, particularly the duration over which it is lasting. Thank you for such an informative sight. And to others going through this, it isn't easy, but it CAN be done. I have held a job since the sixth month, have developed healthy relationships with my family and friends, (and even lost 60 lbs.!) It's not easy, but it's nothing short of my life that I'm fighting for! Hang in there! Anyone wishing to communicate with someone else going through this Carol
Carol <canplat@prodigy.net>
Orlando, FL USA - Sunday, October 25, 1998 at 18:07:26 (CET)

I have been so relieved since finding this site that I am not alone. Having gotten off xanax before and not knowing of the protracted withdrawal I was convinced at eight months off to get back on. So I am once again starting the taper to get off. Tears come to me as I think back that I could have been so much farther along but I can only comfort myself that there was some purpose for this. That I may incourage others to follow this road that it is worth it and that it does get better I can say yes to this. At the time I was off before I thought I felt horrible running from doctor to doctor to find what was wrong. Now with hindsight I so remember the better days and that they were more and more and only fear took me back to this drug. From someone wiser than I it has been explained to me that the receptor sites will just need time to "run clean" of this tight binding drug just as the "spark plugs in a car when changing to a better grade of gasloline" I find this comforting and am using it in iamaging wellness of my brain. Just want to pass this on to any it may help as it has me. Thank you all for being here and bless us and the pain which got us here and the pain which is needed to get us out.
Phyllis <pjc281@flash.net>
Houston, TX USA - Monday, October 12, 1998 at 23:31:33 (CEST)

I have had years of withdrawals after short term, low dose benzos. I would like to communicate with anyone having benzo problems or long term withdrawals. We have a support group in San Diego, California.
Rik <qwest@digitaldune.net>
Arizona USA - Thursday, October 08, 1998 at 14:06:31 (CEST)

Marleen - 09/11/98 15:47:04
My Email:marleen@post10.dk

Comments:
Two months ago I got very sick after having taken sleeping pills for over 3 years after a divorce.First my back started to hurt, I took painkillers and it got worse. Fortunately I found this information and without this help I would not have made it. I am not ok. yet, but much better. Thank you all very much for your help when I most needed it. Marleen, Copenhagen - Denmark

Rudolf Schlabbers - 09/02/98 18:39:58
My URL:http:team.solution.de
My Email:rudi@solution.de

Comments:
Hallo, Ich betreue mit Tina zusammen, den Unterbereich der Drogen und Medikamentenabhängigkeit in unserer Gruppe. Von Gerhard habe ich von Eurer Seite erfahren. Es freut mich besonders, daß auch bald eine deutschsprachige Seite erscheinen soll. Würde mich freuen wenn Ihr Euch dann bei mir noch mal meldet. Ich selbst bin Opiat, Diazepam und Alkoholabhängig. mit besten Grüßen Rudi

Barb Bosnack - 08/31/98 10:28:18
My Email:Bosnack@pobox.com

Comments:
I am very grateful for your site. I have been a benzo abuser for 12 years. I was taking 8-12mg of Xanax per day along with many other harmful drugs.I lost everything because of this dangerous drug: my family, my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health and almost my life. I have been clean now for 10 months. Things are much better now although I am not out of the woods yet. Don't give up out there. You can do it. It is worth it! I am regaining my health and my family. I actually want to live! I do have two important questions for anyone that would have some insight for me: 1. I have a rolling/throbbing sensation in my head that rarely stops. It is very unconfortable and painful. I know it's because of the benzo's. I look forward to the day when it diminishes. Any insight or experiences? 2. I may have to have surgery. I am concerned about taking any drug of any kind. I am also concerned that an anesthetic could trigger withdrawal symptoms again. I would rather die than go through what I've went through again. Should I be concerned ab ut anesthetics? I would so much appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you! Barb

Mike Kirkwood - 08/24/98 21:34:53
My Email:temakclinic@clear.net.nz

Comments:
Hi this is great I'm a Alcohol and Drug counsellor but I dont have much personal experience with benzo's and this site is a real bonus for me to access this type of info. I only see a couple of benzo client's a week as the main drugs of choice in my area are cannabis and alcohol with the opiates running a distant third so the information on this site is very much appreciated.If you know any good sites on Ecstacy I'd be pleased to know thanks again, Mike Kirkwood

Gerhard Thies - 08/17/98 16:28:36
My URL:http:selbsthilfe.solution.de
My Email:hypog@team.solution.de

Comments:
Hallo Dag und Daniel, auf diesem Wege herzliche Grüsse aus Frankfurt. Ich freue mich über Eure interessanten Seiten. Wir befassen uns seit 3 Jahren mit Abhängigkeiten aller Art im Internet und möchten demnächst die Medikamente ebenfalls behandeln. Medikamenten-Abhängigkeit ist auch in Deutschland ein grosses (heimliches) Problem. Ich freue mich auf kommende Kontakte. GERHARD :-)

Johnny Sand - 07/31/98 15:58:08
My Email:jsd@telge.kth.se

Comments:
This site contains veritably life saving information. Many people are involuntarily (and unknowingly) stuck in dependence and can benefit immeasurably from studying the material contained here even though they may not at a first glance agree to what this site suggests. It is admirable that the authors have not turned their backs on their pasts and forgotten all about benzos, but now try to convey their and other people's experiences. We should all listen to them whether we are using benzos or not for this concerns us all. And so many people are using benzos so it is very urgent that people in general get more knowledge to be able to avoid the dangers.